Can You Look At Me Now?
by Mrs.JWhitlock-Hale
Summary: Three years after Bella's horrible break up with Edward the Cullens come back and things are not how they used to be and wont be the same again. Alot of things have changed. Life, Love, and Lemons to come.JasxBella,EmmxRose,Alicex?,Edwardx?
1. looking at you though the night

**Can You Look At Me Now?**

~disclaimer~ We Own Nothing .. Well we own lots of things but we don't own the rights to TWILGHT or any of Stephenine's wonderful Characters, we just wanted to play with them for a bit!

JPOV

Three years after the Cullen's left I was standing on the front lawn of a small weather beaten white two story house with a porch that was about the size of the house itself, the night was only slightly cool for an early fall night. I closed my eyes and sighed softly Alice came up next to me and put an understanding hand on my shoulder.

We both looked at the house not a word between us for some time then with closed eyes I spoke very softly "the smell of that dog is pouring out of this house, its no wonder why she has dropped off your radar". Alice looking as if someone kicked a puppy in front of her spoke just a little louder out of frustration " would it really be Bella if she did not throw herself head first into the nearest danger" she smirked as she thought of her old best friend. I kept my eyes locked on the house as I took in all the emotions from inside " you know she is still very sad, but there is something different about this sad it goes deeper then a normal human, buts buried so deep I can almost look past it..... its nothing like when we first left"

~flashback~ jpov

I just could not leave with out knowing for sure Bella was going to be ok, I had an idea of what Edward was planning but I was not aware of details, but from the emotions that was pouring off him when he returned to the house was damn near sickening at first when he arrived I thought he had lost control and finally killed her, but there was something different it was just not sitting right with me so I had to see for myself.

So with out a word to anyone knowing Alice knew as soon as I took my first step I was racing toward the Swan house. I stopped short about a quarter mile from the chiefs' house I was hit with 4 things.. first deepest of despair, second the sweet smell of Bella, third the smell of those damn Quileute dogs and last overwhelming anger.

~end of flashback~

I took a step forward and Alice grabbed my arm, more as a warning then holding me back "Jasper as soon as you walk in those doors I lose all sight of you". I gave her the no shit Sherlock look, "Alice please I need to do this I need to see if what I am feeling is real". "ok fine what happens when you walk in there scare the shit out of her and that dog wakes up.. its not going to be pretty" she was mumbling, she always hated having blind spots.

"Ok Jasper I am going in there with you, I can not stand not knowing, oh gwad I sound just as bad as Edward huh" . I smirked "almost" I headed for the door, I was moving slow even for a human pace, I guess I really didn't want to know the truth if it meant I would find out that she had moved on.. with him none the less. I opened the door and flinched as the sent hit me. "it wreaks in here" , I took in the sights of the living room it was very very tidy, Bella always kept a clean house when she lived with Charlie

I would not except any different here, the living room was fairly large I am sure to accommodate those freakishly large dogs, there were pictures covering almost the whole western wall, I walked over to the wall as Alice was taking in the other decor. The first picture to catch my eye was a group shot of Bella with the dogs and their mates , they were arranged in two rows, in the back the mutts them self's, and in the front row were the mates, but it sparked something inside me when I noticed Bella had no one behind her, there was an older lady next to her and Bella's father was behind the older lady but had his hand on both their shoulders. This struck me as interesting, had Charlie moved on and hooked up with a mutt mother, but what also caught my attention was Jacob Black was on the other end also alone. I started to scan the rest of the pictures and in every one that Bella was in there was something about the look on her face, even though in most she was smiling it was not the smile that I have burned in my brain, it was missing something. I could not look at the pictures anymore I turned to see what Alice was up to.

She was looking at some laundry that was folded on the couch she had a look of confusion on her face, then she whispered over to me" if I didn't know any better I would say Bella has gone ...goth" she gave a little shrug and sat down in the chair letting me have my space. I glanced back at the pictures and then I noticed that there was more then her smile that had changed, she seemed darker, in her clothing and the circles around her eyes ... then a picture off the far side caught my eye I am not sure how I missed it the first time around , it was a candid shot of Bella sitting at a picnic table right out in front of this house, she had on a black tight hip hugger pants it looked like black boots and a black tank top that had red sparkly angel wings covering most of the back.. She was half turned to the camera, her hair was black with blood red highlights in it, she had on heavy black eye liner and her lips were pale, she was holding a very large black cat and there was a banner in the back ground that said, HAPPY 21ST BELLA!

I thought I felt my dead heart break right there this picture was only a few weeks old. I turned to the door that I knew was her room, I could hear her restless sleep, her heart was racing Edward always said she had sleep problems when he was not around, I am sure after what had happened it has only gotten worse. I opened the door with out a sound and her sent was like a welcomed slap in the face, her room was dark not that it would bother me, I made my way to the bed and there she was just with in my grasp. Her hair was a mess around her face and she had an arm flung over her face, her cheeks were tear stained, I noticed something on her wrist, I moved a little closer to get a better look. I could not believe my eyes I whispered for Alice to come in here, knowing only she would be able to hear it, when she came in I pointed to Bella's left wrist. Alice's eyes bugged out of her head for a second and she quickly covered her mouth to stifle a laugh, then she pulled herself together and whispered to me " Bella got a tattoo, that says ..;she had to giggle in between words; Runs With Vampires. Hearing Alice actually say it made me hold in a laugh as well. That's when it happened , she rolled over toward us and she said a name ... not any name she ..said... my name. I held my breath in panic, was she awake.. no she couldn't be her heart rate and breathing has not changed, I looked at Alice to see if I really heard that or I was really starting to lose it , she just simply nodded, I really think she has been around Edward to long. "Jasper... please don't.. Jasper look at me.. don't leave me ".

I ran out of there at my full speed not caring if I woke up the whole damn Quileute reservation I did not stop till I was at the old Cullen house, I sat on the porch and dropped my face into my hands, it was only seconds later there were two hands on my shoulders, I didn't have to look to know it was not Alice.


	2. time is not on my side

**Can You Look At Me Now?**

~Disclaimer~ We still don't own TWILGHT or any of Stephenine's wonderful Characters, We just wanted to play with them for a bit!

A/N, sorry this is such a short one, we will work on getting them a little longer

JPOV

RECAP.. I sat on the porch and dropped my face into my hands, it was only seconds later there were two hands on my shoulders, I didn't have to look to know it was not Alice.

Even with the reassuring hands on my shoulders I some how felt my whole world was crashing around me. Why was Bella calling out my name in her sleep, why was she begging me not to go. What was I missing, shouldn't she be calling out to Edward, or even Alice, but why me.

The hands slid from my shoulders as Esme sat next to me, I really am not sure how long we sat there with out saying a word had Alice even came back from Bella's? I was the first to break the silence, "she called my name Esme, mine she called out to me in her sleep". Esme let out a soft breath before she began to speak, her emotions were telling me she was picking her words carefully I hung my head again.

"Jasper even though you don't believe it you were also a large part in her life, we all meant so much to Bella. She reached over and took my hand into hers. " Jasper you never have given yourself enough credit for the wonderful being you are, yes back then you had some hurdles to get over but you have done so and we are all so very proud". Spoken like a true mother love and adoration poured from her words. "I think out of all of us you have worked the hardest at what we are, well Roselie is still working a bit", she gave a soft giggle. "Esme, I just don't understand why this is happening and Alice is not filling me in on her damn vision" I ran my hand threw my hair pulling it slightly. "Well I am not sure if we should throw ourselves back into Bella's life again at least not with out warning it might have a worse reaction then moving slowly, it will not belong before news gets around that the Cullen's are back. She slowly stood up giving me a pat on the arm, "just do what you need to Jasper, we are all behind you no matter what even Edward" she gave a smile as I looked up at her with my mouth slight gaped "Edward … you ..you talked to him" Yes dear he called while you and Alice were out, he should be here with in the week he didn't give any details ", with that groundbreaking statement she fluttered back into the house.

" Son of a bitch" I growled out as I felt my window of opportunity slam hard on my heart, yeah Edward has been M.I.A since the first day we left only giving check in calls and Alice would randomly go to him and coming back with a better report. I know she filled him in on what was going on with me. Speak of the devil and she will appear, Alice was now in front of me a look on her face I would know anywhere she was having another vision.

~flashback~ APOV

I was sitting in the living room rearranging things once again, it had been a year since we had left Folks and Bella still on my mind heavily Jasper walked into the room and as soon as he did I dropped down on the overstuffed sitting chair Jasper and Emmett where at my side in a second as the vision came to me and they waited it out hoping it was not going to be bad news about Edward, he had not called in for sometime now .

I saw Bella and something I was not expecting at all…. Jasper… he was with her and he was holding her and she was crying, but there was something different about the way he was holding her, it was not just a basic friendly hold, there was ..love there. I had known for sometime even before

Bella's 18th birthday that me and Jasper were not meant to be forever, I seen myself going down a different path.

~end of flashback~

APOV

The vision thrusted its way into my thoughts so hard I grabed onto Jasper, still in a daze " we got company" I said it loud enough that the rest of the family was now on the porch. I shook my head slightly "its Jacob Black and Bella is not far behind him, he got a good jump on her" .

Emmett cracked his knuckles and Carlisle placed a hand on his shoulder and simply shook his head, "no son, this is not the time I do not believe he came here for a fight" . Jasper stood up and half in front of me, "he may not have came for a fight but he sure is pissed" I could tell Jasper was trying not to let Jacobs emotions get the best of him .

We heard and smelled him before we got sight of him, the deep growls broke threw the morning silence, and he slowly and cautiously eased out of the tree line, he was alone and I am sure that did not help his tension I grabbed Jaspers hand in reassurance.


	3. dreams

**Can you at me now ?**

BPOV

I sat up and jumped out of bed not even waiting for my body to respond, as soon as I thought my feet touched the floor I was flat on my face. Feeling the pins and needles in my feet I had realized both my feet where sleeping. "Damn it" I rolled over so I was sitting on my ass and rubbed my legs with a soft growls and grumbles. It had to have been mere seconds before Jake was towering over me , he was in just his jogging shorts but his eyes were wide and alert he was trembling his fists in such a tight ball I thought his tendons were going to snap.

"Jake really.. I just fell out of bed there is no reason to phase .. spaz" I slowly pulled my self back on to the bed and sat on the edge looking up at him he still had not said anything ."ok am I missing something here, I just had a bad dream, did I wake you screaming or something". " no" his voice was just as tense as his body, "what did you dream about" he started to move around my room going to my window and looking out it and even going as far as checking my bathroom. "Jacob what in the hell are you doing, I just had a dream that they came back and found me, nothing new".

" I just …well I just I have to go check something out, stay put you got that", I really did not like the tone he was using with me right now but I just clenched my jaw and let it slide he had some bug up his ass. After I gave a stiff nod he was out the door, I had to get up and make sure the door was still attached to the house, it would not be the first time one of them damn wolfs ripped the door off this house. Ok the screen door was still intact even though the boy could not shut the inside door to save his life.

I still had a very unsettling feeling as I walked into the kitchen and got a glass of peach iced tea and looked saw the clock on the stove and then had an urge to kill Jacob it was just breaking dawn when I sat at the kitchen table picking at a bagel that was left out letting it crumble in my fingers, my mind drifted to my dream. The hand was perfect smooth granite pale as ash but beautiful none the less. It was just as if I was seeing the dream threw someone else eyes, I saw myself sitting on the porch of a house I have tried for so long to block out of my head, it was almost like no time had passed at all. With out warning I felt the familiar feeling cold flesh touching my cheek and I looked up right into the golden eyes of someone I never would have thought to see again. As soon as my eyes met his he turned to walk away with a defeated look on his face, I called out to him "Jasper... please don't.. Jasper look at me.. don't leave me ". --- end of Bpov

JakePOV

I tore out of that house like my ass was on fire I could not believe they had the balls to come back here let alone come into MY house. It took just minutes to reach the source of the smell, I knew right away they were back. I was not about to drop my guard just in case I had the wrong bloodsuckers, they all wreak the same to me, as I stepped out into the clearing that is their yard I saw it was in fact them. Spineless fucking leaches, all 6 …wait there is supposed to be 7, did the mind reader know I was coming and this is a trap.

I huffed and pressed on toward them anyways I was hit with a funny feeling of calm .. I know I am not calm but I can not help but feel it, it has to be the fucking empath these leaches were already pissing me off. The leader stepped off the porch along with the tall blonde guy and the creepy pixie like one. The big steroid pump oaf was standing back on the steps grabbing on the to rail holding his mouth and nose making gagging sounds, bimbo looking blonde chick slapped him upside the back of his fat head, good saved me the trouble. The leader .. I forgot his name not like I care anyways came up with a genuine smile with his arms opened slightly in a peaceful gesture, "welcome Jacob, as you can see Edward is not back with us here, so we have no way of talking with you in your wolf form, I really hope we can talk this out ,would you mind phasing so we may chat".

I gave a grunt and turned and loped into the closest tree line not wanting to give them an eye full of what I am packing, as soon slipped my shorts on I jogged out back to them. "Ok" … I folded my arms over my chest " why are you back and which one of you was in my house", I was hit with calmness again, the creepy pixie held on a little tighter to the tall blonde guy. " Jacob we had just got back into town not more then 8 or so hours ago I was going to make contact with you as soon as we were settled in". I gave a huff " yeah well that doesn't explain why one or more of you were in my house …in Bella's room". Then the pixie stepped forward " guys we have less then 3 minutes till she gets here I suggest we move this conversation to a more privet spot if we are not going to let her know we are back all at once" I raised my brow "what is she talking about".

" Bella is on her way here to see if we are back and we have decided to not let her know just yet, so if we all could go somewhere else and talk this out it would be great, I know you understand Jacob, this is a very sensitive matter for all of us involved". I could hear her car coming down the long ass over done driveway, "ok blood… Carlisle lets go". The big one and the whore blonde took off first fallowed by the motherly looking one and I looked over and saw the pixie give the blonde guy a look before she took off as well. I did a leaping phase and was off with Carlisle.


	4. the pull

**Can you look at me now?**

~Disclamier~ still dont own anything we didnt in Chapter 3 either *walks away grumbling*

BPOV

As I came out of my daydream, things were just not sitting right in my head, why do I have this pull to go there, why was Jake acting like he was about to do some damage, and if he really thinks he can ground me like child … I got up and ran into my room and grabbed the first things my hands touched and threw them on not really caring what or how, I grabbed a hair tie on my way out the door along with my keys, and threw my hair up as I was getting in my car.

This is one of the few times I did not miss my old rusty truck, I am now the owner of a 1998 chili pepper red Durango, I punched the gas and was on my way. I was so lost in my thoughts when I realized where I was I was already half way up the twisted driveway, my hands griped the steering while like it was a life line. Then there was a break in the trees oh god I really cant believe I have taken it this far but I could not turn back now, the pull to go on was greater then the pull the run away.

I stopped in front of the house and just let my car idle I taped my fingers on the wheel as I thought about how actually insane this is. The house was dark and there were no signs of life or unlife for that matter. After a good few minutes of fighting with myself like a moron I left the car running and I opened the door, and I was hit with a feeling I have been here. My dream....this is to surreal for me but I still move toward the porch my heart raced and I was shaking almost as bad as Jacob before he phases.

With an unsteady hand I grabbed the rail and made my way to the door, I took a relaxing breath and moved over to the large picture window and stepped closer and peered in and saw something I really didn't need to see, there in front of the window as it always has was Edwards piano it was covered in a plain white sheet. The hole in my chest erupted after being sealed for so long I turned and went to make a run for it but I tripped over air and ended up on my ass on the top step.

I was to far gone to pull myself up as my emotions pulled me under. The tears came at once clouding my vision I could not even see my car at this point, but something was telling me something big was about to happen I just could not put my finger on it. Then I felt it the feeling I have been longing for, granite smooth ice cold skin brushing against my cheek wiping a tear away, I blinked a few times to try and focus then I saw him standing there and right before everything went black I called out his name… Jasper.

JPOV

As they all started to leave I looked at Alice letting her know I had no intent on leaving when Bella was this close, I need to be here for this I needed it more then I have needed anything in awhile, she gave me a knowing look and was gone with the rest. I could hear her car pulling up it was not her loud ass truck, it was something newer but it was bigger then a car. I quickly moved over behind a large hemlock and watched. A red Durango pulled up and stopped close to the house she sat in there for a bit and I felt a lot of uncertainty I am sure she was in there arguing with herself on wither or not she should get out, a small smile spread on my lips despite the situation just knowing I was going to see her really for the first time, in so long was wonderful to me.

A few pieces of bark crumbled from my grip as I saw her walk over to the house. She was still unsure but panicked on what to do, I could see her in perfect detail the tiny little crease between her eyebrows, just made me want to touch her all the more, and smooth it away. She looked like she had not slept in ages, her hair was pulled back in a messy little ponytail it looks like she got dressed in a rush, I softly chuckled as I took in what she was wearing she must have gotten dressed in the dark. She got to the top of the stairs she looked like she wanted to turn and run but she went to the window and looked in, there was a brief feeling of disappointment, what I would do to get into her head right now, the disappointment was quickly replaced with sadness.

She turned and headed for the stairs and in true Bella fashion she tripped over nothing and I had to fight everything inside me not to catch her, I watched her fall on her ass onto the top step, it was then she let grief take over and I was almost knocked to the ground with her pain. It took me a full second to regain control the last thing she needed was pain coming at her from all directions, this was going to be hard enough as it is. I made my mind up and headed over to her, fuck this not letting her know we are here. I could smell the sweetness of her blood but it did not effect me the way it used to I could smell the salt of her tears as I got next to her.

I made sure I was keeping my control over my own emotions, but I could not stop my hand from reaching out to her and wiping a tear of her sparkling cheek. Her head shot up and she blinked a few times, I am sure to get the tears out of her vision then her emotions went haywire right before she fainted she whispered my name, it was the most beautiful sound in the world to me.


	5. AN Thank You

I just wanted to drop a small A/N to thank everyone that has read so far and thank you for the reviews they have been good,

I am working on chapter 5 as we speak, I am going to work really hard to get these out fast but still keep them good,

so back to the grind stone for me…the offiical chapter 5 should be up with in the next day or two at the latest.. THANK YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN!


	6. smiling faces and smiling ass

**Can You Look At Me Now?**

~Disclaimer~ Things have not changed, we Still only own what we can own and Twilight and Jasper are not on that list *folds arms and pouts*

JPOV

I held her I was not going to do anything to wake her up, if I needed to I would hold her forever. I pulled her into my lap her head rested on my chest I was not really sure how she would feel about this when she did come to but it was like I was running on auto pilot. For the first time in over one hundred years .. I felt right, I just closed my eyes and let the time pass around us.

It was soon I felt her start to stir I braced myself for anything, the only thing I picked up from her was embarrassment. "Bella.. darlin I know you can hear me now " I pressed my lips to the top of her head then spoke in her hair my accent getting a little more noticeable. " what do you have to be embarrassed about Bella" .

I felt her sigh and she opened her mouth " even in my delusions I am a stumblefuck, I mean really now". I did my best to hold in a laugh, she thinks she is imaging this, and it was hilarious to hear her swear let alone say fuck. "Bella, this is as real as it gets".

"oh yeah", was her brilliant retort but then her emotions shifted to wonder, and before I had a second to question her she had spun in my lap and was facing me I could feel her warm sweet breath on my lips, I slowly took in her sent never letting my eyes break away from hers. "If indeed I was not dreaming I could not do this with you Jasper, could I"? I was just about to answer and her lips were pressed to mine.

It was only a few seconds our lips were together and she pulled away and blinked "that was more real then I could have ever hoped for". I reached up and caressed her face "what do I have to do darlin, what's it going to take for you to know I am here, we are here.. "

She cut me off and her warm brown eyes shifted like she had seen a ghost. "your… real … I mean back… all of you"? I realized right away what she was a wreck about "its just Alice, Emmett, Rose, Emse, Carlisle and myself, he didn't come with us" I was not ready and nor did I think she was ready to hear Edward would be making his dramatic appearance in about a week. " Edward moved away from us the day we all left". She slumped a little and I felt guilt. "Bella", I made sure she was looking at me and paying close attention " you listen to me good here, you did nothing wrong there was nothing you could have done to stop him, but we all wish we had"

I reached out and ran my finger tips down from the corner of her eye down her jaw line as I watched her eyes become pools and it was then she let the tears fall I just held her tighter resting my head on top of hers I could be here all day if she needed me to the burn was not even a back thought in my head.

It had been at least an hour before she was calming down but I was still going to wait and let her make the first move, this was all about Bella. I had noticed that the rest of the family had come back from their talk with Jacob, it would seem they going to give us some more time. "Darlin, can I ask you something"? I felt her give a little nod, "what in gods name are you wearing" I did my best not to crack up as she tumbled out of my lap and got to her feet somehow and looked herself over.

She looked like a deer in headlights as she gasped and her face turning apple red she was lost for words as she looked around maybe looking for an escape. I stood and went over to her not sure if I should touch her yet so I fought every feeling inside me to comfort her.

Even in her ungodly canary yellow pajama bottoms with a big smiley face on her ass and her old hunter orange camo Newton's work shirt inside out and backwards she looked adorable. That is when I lost it I was doubled over with laughter.

Almost like if he was qued Emmett came barrlin out of the house and stopped just a few feet in front of her, and looked her up and down, oh man this is going to be great. He thought for a second and opened his big mouth, " Bella babe… orange really ain't your color.. And why is your ass smiling at me"? She glared at him as if hoping she could kill him with her eyes,

with out warning he swept up a now laughing Bella into his big ass bear like arms swinging her like a 5 year old, watching those two even threw the emotions that I was getting off them in between laughs, I knew now it was the right choice to come back, and I was grateful for the chance to make things better.

"Emmett… cant… breath.. Still human here" he set her down but still kept his mammoth arms around her and spun her to where the of the family and I were standing watching with smiles. Rosalie of course held back but kept her mouth shut, I thought Alice was going to explode she was bouncing up and down in one place, she flittered over to her, Emmett still keeping hold on her as if he would let go she would be gone again. Alice pulled her hands from behind her back and held out a bag and smiled " I thought you would be needing these I can see you still need help getting dressed in the morning".

There were some muffled chuckles from behind me as Bella took the bag and looked around at everyone, " ok is there anyone else that would like to comment on my fashion statement".

Emmett leaned down and kissed her on top of the head, I got a faint shot of anger from Rosalie but she turned and went inside.

As Carlisle walked past me toward Bella he gave me a slap on the shoulder and got to her and opened his arms and she got lose from Emmett and embraced him. "Bella its so good to see you again, but really now we have excellent eye sight you didn't need to make sure we could see you from miles away".

She huffed a little but kept the smile on her face" oh come on not you too" she giggled as he stepped away from her but not before giving her a small kiss on the cheek. "welcome back Bella ". A look of worry crossed her face I am sure she did not want any of us to catch it but I did it was almost like she was about to panic but she pulled back, the control over her own emotions always intrigued me I would ask her about that later if I get a second alone with her again.

Carlisle grabbed Emmett and pulled him to the house, Emmett whining the whole way, I looked over and Esme was standing there with a smile, she moved to Bella and wrapped her arms around her pulling Bella close, I knew Esme was dry sobbing into Bella's hair, it was not sadness I felt from Esme it was relief, she felt she was finally getting her family back after all this time.


	7. make Bella better

**Can You Look At Me Now? **

~Disclaimer~ Ok.. really it has not been that long, I still dont own anything but a VW Jetta and things in my house, and no Jasper is not locked in my closet...

BPOV

I looked around for a second then back to Jasper, " where did the evil pixie go Jasper," he laughed a little as he lead me to the house. " She went to go work her pixie magic on your friend Jacob".

JacobPOV

I took every bit in me not to got back and rip that tall blonde leach from limb to limb for being a lying douche bag, they just stood there and told me they were not going to tell her they are back .. And where the fuck is he … with my Bells.

They all went back to talk to her but before they left I was warned.. No let me change that I was down right fucking threatened by the pixie not to move a muscle till she got back , and if I went back it would be bad for Bella she would fill me in when she got back here.

I growled out " fucking leaches.. I fucking hate you leaches!" I grabbed the nearest thing and chucked it will all my might, and then the creepy pixie one was next to me. I thought about how fun it would be to throw her like that bolder it made me smile a little. "Get that thought out of your head right now Jacob it would not turn out well for you".

Ok she is just as fucking bad as the spineless mind reader but I think she would be a little more fun to mess with. "ok pixie lets make this fast I don't trust Bella alone with any of you asshole bloodsuckers" I started to plan in my head that if I can get a good jump start on her I can get back to the house toss Bells in the car.. No if I throw her on my back and ran.. No err what would be , then the little shit cut me off again.

"Ok Jake, this is very hard for me because you and your little pack buddies are blind spots for me, but that does not mean I cant tell you are about to do something very stupid, and you are really going to put Bella at risk if you do not really listen to what I have to say. " why should I fucking trust you with anything, you set it up for that empath to be alone with her, I swear if he harmed one skin cell on her" .. my fists clenched as I began to shake.

APOV

I felt like I really wanted to slap the hell out of Jacob Black, aside from his mouth he is really not getting the big picture here. " ok Jake you really need to get a grip its not going to help matters if you go all wofly and run in there and risk hurting Bella, we are all very aware of what a uncontrolled wolf can do don't we, so put a muzzle on it for a second"

I waited till he got himself under control and then I wasted no more time with him and just got right to the point. " yes it was the plan at first to ease our way back into her life, but you should know better then anyone that plans change, now I know you know about all our separate powers, and I will be right to the point with you, even though I am not sure I owe it you but I owe it to Bella."

" I saw that if we did not intervene when we had , once she saw we had not returned she was going to kill herself Jacob she would have went right home knowing you were not there and slit her wrists, hoping the blood would call to us to save her". And tell me Jacob this is not the first time something like this has happened is it?"

He grumbled out a harsh no, " ok well this time it would have gone to the point of no return we never could have got there in time, I know what you have been threw with her has been hard but you need to understand something Jasper is not Edward none of us are Edward, I can not keep you from hating him for what he had done, and I really can not keep you from hating all of us, but we all love her as well" He sighed and backed up a little and leaned on a tree as he took all this in, but his face told me he was in a completely different time and place.

JakePOV

Pixies words hit me like a ton of vampires at once, it was almost like I was right back standing on my front porch as Sam brought a soaking wet ,limp, down right pathetic looking Bella in. He went right past me with out a word and headed to my room and placed her on my bed I was standing in the door way I had never felt so hopeless and useless in my life even after my mother died.

Sam turned to me and I got my first real glimpse at her face it looked like someone sucked the soul right out of her, he more or less barked an order at me to find her blankets and dry clothes, I turned and ran into the my dads room where the spare bedding was kept and grabbed everything I touched and then ran to the hall closet where some of my sisters old clothes were kept and I grabbed a shit load of things out of there not even caring about the mess I was making I just left it lay there in the middle of the hall , I went back into the room and Sam was already undressing her.

I walked to the bedside man was it a tight fucking fit Sam is huge, and I aint much smaller, but I dropped the things I had in my arms as he took her shirt off, and he tossed it to me it slapped me in the face waking me from my daze. She did not move at all she did not even make a sound if it was not for the rise and fall of her chest I could swear she was dead, it was all happing so fast, he was already slipping the grey jogging pants on her and then he slipped a overly large long sleeve black shirt on her, she finally showed some kind of life but it was something none of us wanted to hear, she begged for death.

He got all the blankets on her ignoring her plea for us to kill her and then he started out of the room but looked at me with a wicked ass glare and told me to stay with her and don't leave her side he was going to call me dad and Charlie and let them know everything and that she is here, I just dumbly nodded and he was gone I found out later to phase and let the pack know the search was off.

I just stood in the door way feeling like if I moved the whole house would fucking come down on our heads, it had been months sconce I had seen Bella, and I just can not wrap my head about someone being this tore up about losing a boyfriend. Aside from her tell all eyes, she looked like nothing more then a small Bella burrito Sam really had her tucked in tightly. I was only there for a few minutes before she whimpered out she needed me to help her, I was not sure what she meant first but then I saw her try and wiggle out, so I went over and started to peel back the layers, she looked so frail she got out and sat on the edge of the bed not once looking me in the face she asked where the bathroom was.

I showed her where it was and watched her go in and I heard the click of the lock. After about 15 minutes I started to get really anxious, five minutes after that I was at the bathroom door lightly knocking, "Bella? … Bells … is everything ok in there" nothing.. I knocked harder my gut was starting to turn "Bells come on answer me… ". It only took one good hard shoulder to knock the door clear off the frame I saw her..

She was slumped against the tub, her eyes were partly open but rolled back I saw more white then chocolate I moved into the room "bells.. What's wrong ?" I stepped into the bathroom and right away my eyes caught inside the sink was a open pill bottle, I grabbed it and saw it was Billy's morphine I knew this was not a newer prescription but there was enough in there to do some damage. I grabbed the bottle shoved it in my pocket then I scooped her up and rushed to my car dumped her into the seat and ran around jumped in and took off for the hospital.

For months after that it was like she was not even human, I think it was much harder for her to deal when I found out what I truly was soon after that the whole truth about the bloodsuckers came out, although she was at the res all the time it was like she was not there at all, then small changes started to being themselves to the front, first it was the music, then clothes and hair, then she was stepping things up at an alarming rate, with body modification.

I was fucking floored when she walked in after getting her first tattoo, it took me hours to phase back to even ask her what the hell she was thinking. She was still holding onto her fairy tail vampires tightly, it was almost like that tattoo was a vow of devotion.

Finally I came out of my daze and pixie leach looked like she was waiting for me to say something. " k' I get it ..what do I need to do, what will make Bella better?" She smiled and simply stated "Jasper".


	8. feelings that might be there

**Can You Look At Me Now? **

A/N .. We just wanted to Thank everyone for the reviews they have been wonderful, and to let you all know there will be links in the p/f for a few things in this story. We really hope you enjoy this chapter, the blank spots WILL start getting filled now as the story goes on. Enjoy

~Disclaimer~ If I owned Twilight or any of the characters for Twilight do you think I would be sitting on my laptop.. So NO I still don't own shit! *pouts*

APOV

"Umm ain't he with you, I mean ain't you and him like married or whatever you bloodsuckers do". I smiled and said "nope" making a little pop sound with the P. Feeling the excitement of the coming of my new love and adventure. " life seems to be taking me down a different path Jacob".

~end of APOV~

JPOV

I grabbed the bag Alice gave to Bella, and I smiled. I noticed a bit of curiosity from her I wondered what was sparking it, I will have to add that to the growing list of things to ask her about later. "lets see what kinda discomfort Alice bought for you this time".

A look of worry crossed her face but then she smiled and walked with me as we went to the house. I was not sure where the rest of the family was but I was glad they were giving some space, I could feel Bella walking that thin line of overwhelmed .

As we walked up the stairs I knew there was something making her slow her pace, as I turned down the hall to head to my room, she stopped in the middle of the hall I turned the it dawned on me this is the way to Edwards room as well as the stairs to my room.

"Bella… " she blinked a few times and looked up at me I reached over and took her hand in mine and gave a little nod, I lead her past his door and up the stairs to my room. Once she got to the top of the stairs and looked around the open loft area, she smiled a little bit.

" Oh so what you the resident bat in the belfry now" she let out a carefree giggle and I could not help myself from a little smirk as well. "yeah well ya know… ahh you can change in here" I lead her to my Alice inspired closet and opened the door turning on the light, " I'll wait out here". I slowly let go of her hand, not ready to lose her warm touch just yet but I had to pace myself.

BPOV

I wondered what was going on around here, even for a family of vampires things were strange, why was Jasper here with me without Alice, why did everyone just kinda bail when we were outside. We headed in the house and started for the stairs once we got up there and turned toward Edwards room I stopped what was Jasper thinking, as I looked at the door I felt myself splitting open again but before the hole bust all the way open and I could turn to run Jasper turned to me and gently took my hand.

It was almost like an instant repair, I let him lead me right past the door of evil and we headed up a set of stairs I had never been on. At the top of the stairs was a very big open loft type area I wondered what this room was, I looked around the décor and I noticed right away along the wall were six different guitars and this room was different then the rest of the house, it did not have a wall of glass instead there were paintings drawing and … lots of band posters covering the emerald green walls, but still ..no bed.

He lead me over to a giant ass closet, this is more like it he opened the door and turned on a light and told me I could change in here. I took the bag and walked in closing the door lightly I took a second to look around, and this closet was filled with jeans and tee shirts.

I ran my hand over the shirts noticing most where vintage band shirts I could not help myself I leaned in and smelled one of his shirts, he smelled of summer rain, dragons blood ( A/N- we are just using this is a reference, not that Jasper is burning incense, this is Bella talking about his natural essence ) then it hit me I spun a few times and noticed it was only Jasper's clothes in here, what has happened in three years.

I pulled the things out of the bag and rolled my eyes with a grown when I saw what the evil one has picked out for me. There was a green fairy like baby doll top with a long cream gypsy like skirt. I got dressed with out bitching cause I know if I do she will hear me and I am not ready for Bella Barbie just yet.

I pulled the shoes out of the bad, they were green flats, at least she remembered I can trip over air at any giving moment. I quickly threw my pj's into the bag and walked out of the closet. Jasper was leaning on the wall, I must be losing my mind cause I swear I just saw him check me out.

JPOV

" Why miss Bella Swan, you look positively , breath taking" I saw the blood pool to her cheeks and it was then I wanted to see how red I could make her, I smiled. " here Bella sit down I know we have a lot to talk about", I motioned for her to sit on green corduroy love seat. She slinked over I am sure to make sure she does not fall flat on her face over nothing, she sat her hands resting limply in her lap she looked up at me with her doe like eyes goddamn I thought I was going to melt right then and there, where the fuck was I going to start.

"I can sense you are confused Bella, what would you like to know first". I could feel her emotions bounce from wonder to awkward to nervous as she thought about how she wanted to go about this. " well, I couldn't help but notice that Alice has no clothes in here, and it seems she is letting you dress yourself" .

Bella was a lot more observant then Edward ever gave her credit for, I knew this was a fine line I needed to walk here, so I thought my answer out before spoke. " well to be blunt about it, Alice and I have come to a point in our lives were we are going down separate paths". She looked around the room as she processed this information biting on her lower lip slightly I had to look away for second to control my lust for her.

'Come on Jasper head in the game,' I kept trying to tell myself. She looked back to me " what path does your life seem to be taking you Jasper" . I felt my insides jump and I smiled a little bit, " well I am hopin to find that out soon here darlin" . I heard her heart flutter for just a second then she got control again, and she nodded slightly.

I had a feeling the next question was not going to be as simple. She took a long breath and released it slowly and she locked eyes with me, I braced myself. " Where did you go, and why are you back" , her tone was bitter, angry and hurt all in one, but as she looked in my eyes I felt a need coming off her, it was like a pull for me to be next to her. I moved over to her and sat down, with my weight on the cushion she tilted toward me.

" Well lets see here, Rose and Emmett went on like their hundredth honeymoon, somewhere in Asia, Alice was off seeing every major shopping port in the free world, Carlisle and Esme were living in New York, and me…I was up in Denali working on some things". I could tell she was getting peeved at my lack of explanation, but I was not ready to give full details just yet. " As you can tell, my control has improved a lot, as I am sure you have noticed things around here are a big different, this is me Bella, the real me, I finally found out who I am in this life".

She looked at me her eye brows pulled down tightly in the middle a look she often gets when she is flustered she said " ok, but what about the rest of my question, why did you come back" . She was getting tense and fast, I could not hide things from her like my dumb shit brother did she deserves better then that.

" We came back because we needed to"…. I sighed and looked away from her,

" because I needed to".

I knew she was picking up that I was upset and unsure, because she felt like she needed to comfort me I looked back to her locking our eyes once more, at that point I felt like all my insides were coming undone at once, it was then things were set in stone for me, Bella was my soul I have been missing for so long, I wanted to give her everything possible my love for her was pouring out beyond my control, and I realized it was affecting her when I saw her warm eyes tear up.

BPOV

" Jasper" I kept my voice soft not trusting it to not give out on me, and plus I was hyperaware of a house full of super hearing, " I really believed that these feelings did not exist anymore, I am still not sure what is going on and I don't trust my heart anymore but I cant sit here and deny this isn't happening right now".

I could not hold in the urge to reach over, my hand was shaking as I touched the side of his face, the power I felt when our skin met this time almost had me pull away but he leaned into my touch his eyes closed as I felt the first warm tear roll down my cheek. I pulled my hand away his eyes still closed he spoke in a whisper " I know you're a little confused, but the emotions are real Bella I can only hope you will explore this path with me."

"Jasper, I have been threw so much and I am a different person now... I am defective its just…" he cut me off by grabbing me by the shoulders and staring me in the face. " Bella, you are anything but defective, yes its true you have changed on the outside, and its also true you have been hurt by not only Edward but the whole family, but you Bella angel are still the most beautiful soul I have ever encountered". My was spinning at this point, damn they are back, and I think Jasper just confessed his love for me. I don't know if I am ready for this, how can I trust they are not going leave the sad pathetic little human behind again, what if Edward finds out and he makes them leave again. All these thoughts swirled in my head at once the hole in me chest started to pull at me again.

JPOV

As she sat there I was just slammed with her emotions I cant blame her for what she is feeling but when I did see Edward I was going to punch him, how could he break such a wonderful spirit ." Isabella Marie Swan, I am not Edward please understand the family and myself can not call ourselves a family without you he had us convinced it was better for you and we needed to set aside our own feelings". I reached over and tucked a stray hair behind her ear and she leaned into my touch this time I stroked her cheek with my thumb.

"I wont and cant leave you…. ever, I give you my word", I saw her wince slightly and she looked over my shoulder past me. "Bella I really mean ever, no matter what happens you are stuck with me I gave a little smile hoping I was not about to be shot down. She looked back into my eyes, " Jasper how can you stay that to me now, sooner or later you will get distracted, and you will realize I do not belong in your world just like Edward did".

I suppressed a growl I am going to have to find out exactly what happened the night we left.

"Bella I have felt for you from the first day I saw you at school, do you remember your birthday"? she gave a weak nod.. " when the first drop of your blood was spilled its true I wanted you, but I wanted to have you forever right then I was going to change you to make you mine, that is why Edward reacted the way he had he saw it in my mind, but at the time I was confusing love for bloodlust".

I am not sure where the I got this sudden burst of confidence but I leaned in my lips just barely touching hers I whispered," miss Bella, may I kiss you"? She barely nodded and I pressed my lips to hers I pulled back because I was afraid she was not breathing anymore and her heart rate was insane I kept forehead pressed to hers and felt the heat from her flushed cheeks as she took in a breath.

I grinned with satisfaction and was about to say something when her stomach did the talking for her. She pulled back and wrapped her arms around her middle and blushed even harder, just then I heard what could only be described as a heard of cattle barreling to my room and there he was Emmett standing at the top of the stairs with a doofy ass grin holding up a happy meal box in one hand and a drink in the other, now I know where the confidence came from.

" Here I come to save the day" he was singing very off key Bella was laughing and I could not help myself either even though I knew encouraging him was a bad idea, he kept singing. " ba-da-bababa.. I'm lovin it ..I have come to feed the human, even though I cant see how she can eat this shit .. Dude have you fuckin smelled this, I have ate cow but …ewww" .

He walked over and sat on the floor in front of a still laughing Bella he sat like a kid in school if I had a tail I am sure it would be wagging.


	9. AN getting in touch

A/N

Hey everyone, we know these are a pain in the ass, but we just wanted to get in touch with everyone and just say another Thank You!

We have had great feed back from you guys, the reviews are wonderful, and all the alerts and story and author adds are sooo cool! We are just finishing up chapter 8 but wanted to throw this in real fast, it should be up real soon, and the other chapters have a good start. Just another note there are a few links in my profile for some pics to go along with the story and we will add more as the story goes on so check em out, ( Bella's pj's are in there hehe )

We are trying hard to get the chapters longer, and with the pending arrival of Edward, its going to get interesting, so once again Thank you all so much .. And as always.. ENJOY !

Jill & Melinda

P.S, we will try and keep the A/N's to a minimum ^.~


	10. sparkle and feelings

**Can You Look At Me Now?**

JPOV

It was hard not to stare at her while she ate Emmett was still sitting in front of her I am sure to wait for her to do something funny, I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes I knew I had to tell her things that were going to be hard on the both of us, but what is going to happen when I tell her about Edward.

Then it dawned on me like a dumb shit, go ask Alice, I leaned forward and looked at the two laughing and making food jokes, right now Emmett was comparing her cheeseburger to dog food which I will admit it smelled just the same. Just as I looked over at Bella she was giving Emmett a lesson in see-food, I would not even fall for that one.

"Bella.. " she looked at me and closed her mouth the familiar red rushing to her cheeks I smiled. " darlin I am going to go talk to Alice real quick, you can hang out here with Emmett".

I felt a small pang of jealousy from her I kinda liked that feeling, I leaned over and gave her a soft kiss to the temple and whispered " Angel I will just be a little bit, then I want to take you somewhere ok " she gave a small nod and I got up and headed to the stairs then Emmett spoke up " Bells… you haven't even looked at your toy what is it"?

As I was walking down the stairs I heard both of them crack up laughing and Bella squeal " oooo how cute, lets go see if he sparkles" . I just got into the hall when Emmett blew past me Bella flung over his shoulder and in her left hand she held a little plastic vampire chicken mcnuggett with fangs a cape and a little black bat I laughed and went to find Alice.

I found her in Emmett and Rosalie's room, she was knee deep in the things she was tossing out of his side of the closet Rose was sitting on the bed flipping threw a Cosmo she didn't even bother to look up at me but her emotions rang loud and clean she was not thrilled with me in the least bit.

I leaned on the door way and looked down at Alice and she gave me a 100 watt smile I shook my head and headed out of the room, knowing she was right on my heels. "Alice, your ass better be back in here to clean this shit up".

I walked into Carlisle's office, knowing had taken off for the hospital in Port Angeles for an interview. Alice flittered over to his desk and sat on it I walked over to window and looked out.

I saw Bella and Emmett sitting in the grass playing with that toy it seems like for now she has forgotten all her worries. I smiled and turned to Alice. " ok Jazz, taking her to the lake is a wonderful idea, don't forget a blanket … and telling her about Edward is the best thing, and I should tell you and you can chose what to do with this, Edward is not coming alone."

I blinked a few times, " what do you mean not coming alone", " exactly like I said, he is not going to be alone, he is bringing his fiancé , and she is bringing a friend". The way she said friend and beamed I knew right away this is the person she has been waiting for, "Alice .. You sneaky lil pixie, that is the best news I have ever heard". Nothing could take the smile off my face now.

She got off the desk and went to the window and looked out over the two in the yard I joined her. " ya know Jazzy, this is going to take time, she is very fragile still and Jake is going to be hovering like a bird of pray, and you know I will not tell you everything but I will tell you this cause I can see your unsure, its going to all work out Jasper", she headed for the door but stopped and turned back to me " 3 days Jazzy, just 3 days to heal her…make it count" with that she danced out of the room.

I headed out and I got to the top of the stairs and Alice stopped me and threw me something, I caught it and looked at it, it was a little vile of sliver shimmer power what the hell do I need this for its fuckin sunny out I am going to shimmer enough. She gave me a little wink and said " trust me you going to need this" and she disappeared back into Rose and Emmett's room.

I ran down the stairs and out the back door and then slowed when I got close Bella noticed me at once, the sun glinting off my skin and my scars especially but she didn't even flinch at the site of my mangled skin, I thought back to see if she had ever seen me in the sunlight before, but she hadn't Edward always made damn sure I kept my distance.

" Jasper! What does a girl gotta do to get a little mcnuggett sparkle around here"? I smirked at her bad attempted at a Texan accent. "well darlin, I might have somethin here for ya" I laid it on thick. I tossed the shimmer to her, it bounced off her nose and rolled away Emmett was on his back laughing so hard it sounded like he was choking.

She picked it up and looked at it and grinned opening it and pouring some on the little toy. She looked the toy over and huffed a little " nothing like the real thing, but it will do"

I did my best to hold in a laugh myself Emmett still rolling around busting a gut. I crouched down and kissed the tip of her nose " my apologies Miss Bella" I kept crouched next to her.

" Are you ready for that trip I was talkin about " I watched as Emmett got up and smiled, "Bells .. don't do anything to funny while I am gone" he took off before she could retort. She looked back over to me " sure Jasper, I am ready when you are".

I stood and held out my hand to her and she took it, holy shit she took it and I felt her warm soft hands, I began to feel excitement from her and I realized it was more from me projecting it to her but she didn't say anything about it she just laced her fingers with mine as we walked around to the front of the house.

I think now would be the best time to inform her she had left her truck running and had ran out of gas, we stopped about 8 or so feet from her truck and I stopped her " ah Bella, I think we are going to have to take something other then your truck" she looked at me a little confused.

" well it went like this, you were so upset and I didn't want to leave your side so it just kinda ran out of gas" , she softly head slapped herself " god I feel like a dumbshit , what the hell am I going to do". I opened my mouth but before I could get a word out Emmett came running out in his super hero stance again " don't worry a bit Bells I will take care of it" and he was off again.

She looked at me and burst out laughing " I so have to find him a cape" " Bella…you know that will only encourage him more" I smiled and lead her to the garage and opened the furthest door and sitting there was the second love of my life, my Ducati super bike gloss black I was hit with a blast of excitement, hell yeah she liked the bike.

I walked the bike out of the garage and she fallowed with a smile on her face I got it to the front of the house and turned to her "have you ever been on a bike before" she gave a sly smile " well …actually me and Jake used to ride all the time". I think this excited me more then it should, I looked at what she was wearing" stay here be right back" I ran into the house and to my room grabbing a leather jacket, it was nice and broke in so it would not be all stiff on her, I also grabbed the blanket Alice told me to. I was down to her side in a second and held the jacket open for her to slip into.

She smiled at me as she slid into the jacket and I saw her take a smell of the leather, I hoped it was not just the sent of the leather she liked but that she was also taking in my sent.

I got on the bike tucked the blanket in front of me and looked back to her for her to get on.

She had a look on her face that she was working something out in her head, then I saw her hike up her ankle length skirt, I could not help my eyes from looking her over.

She managed to get on the bike and I turned the key and hit the starter and the bike roared to life under us, her arms slipped around my waist and I felt her head rest in between my shoulders I smiled. "Hold on tight angel" I took off I wanted to excite her but I kept it reasonable I didn't want her to freak out.

We hit 80 before we got to the main road, and she was still doing ok not one hint of fear. I remember Edward once told me she would freak out when she would ride on his back when he ran, does that mean she trusts me more, or is she just not scared of anything anymore. Not once did she tense up or ask me to slow down we got to her house in no time and she was confused.

I stopped the bike in front of the porch and killed the engine and I sat up straight. "why are we here Jasper" " well I thought you might want to change, it might be a little cooler where we are going, and to be honest I am fond of your clothes I am kinda over Alice clothes, not that you don't look wonderful, but I figured you would be more comfortable in your own clothes especially on the back of the bike.

Just as she was getting off Jacob came out of the house anger just poured off him I had to do everything I could to hold in the growl that built up in my chest, she turned to me with pleading eyes wordlessly telling me to be nice. I gave her a nod and she got to the porch giving her friend a glare and she disappeared inside.

"I would really be grateful you would clam your anger Jacob it is not going to help anything" he headed down the steps, I gripped my bike a little more his anger was really pissing me off " I don't care what you would be grateful for you fucking leach you lied to me and now Bella knows and you show up here with her on your bike" " I thought Alice cleared things up as far as that goes Jacob, I did what I had to, to keep Bella safe I thought you could respect that" .

A soft rumble came from deep in his chest, " don't you dare question me not making the right decision to keep Bella safe, I was the one who has been picking up pieces of broken Bella for the last three goddamn years, picking up the mess you assholes left behind with out a glance back…..but thank you oh so much for bringing her home safe, you can go now."

"well see Jacob , I am bringing Bella out tonight", his anger almost knocked me off the bike and I hissed at him" will you fuckin control yourself I don't think it would make Bella to happy for us to be out here ripping each other apart."

This is when I decided I was going to do the calming for him and I saw him relax a little.

" Don't fuck with my emotions bloodsucker" "I had no choice Jake, now .. I am taking Bella out, mind you something she is willingly doing, I need to tell her a few things, some things I need to tell you as well". He folded his arms and waited for me to go on.

"Edward is coming back, soon, in about three days and he is bringing home the new love of his life" the anger was overwhelming we both roared out "damnit Jacob stop that" he was shaking and his fists were balled tightly I knew he was trying to keep his shape. I am going to do this the best way possible, I am not going to let Bella get hurt if anything trust me with that."

His glare was hard " ok yeah sure sure, trust the bloodsucker that took a fucking snap at her on her birthday" he was about to say something else but the front door opened and Bella walked out, she was in black dickie like hip huggers and a black pull over hoodie that said 'Got Type O Negative?' and her hair was down and brushed my jacket was slung over her arm, she came over and stood next to the bike and looked at Jacob.

"I will be back later Jake we are just going for a ride, we will talk about it later" she handed me my jacket with a smile " here Jasper thought you would want this back" I was a little disappointed she didn't want to keep wearing my jacket but I took it and slipped it on. She climbed on the bike and I started it again . With a huge grin on my face she leaned in wrapping her arms around me once more as I took off I felt jealousy and anger and hurt and I heard the wolf howl as we flew down the road.

Even through the leather and her hoodie I could feel her warmth I kept a big smile, she moved her head from my shoulder and asked "where are we going Jasper", I had to speak a little louder for her to hear me and I turned my head back slightly " it's a place I think you will really enjoy its peaceful" I knew she hated surprises but she nodded and her head was right back it took us no time to get there at all, she sat up on the bike a little more I am sure to look around, the sun was getting ready to start setting it was far enough down and away that I was no longer blinding sparkle boy.

I parked the bike close to the shore of Lake Crescent over looking the mountains with the sun setting it was remarkable, I turned off the bike and she hoped off but her leg caught and she started to topple. Her face was scrunched waiting for impact, it took her a few seconds to realize she had not hit the ground yet, her eyes opened meeting mine she smiled softly " I knew it would be a matter or time before I did that" " don't worry darlin I got ya ". I set her back up on two feet and picked up the blanket and headed to the shore line. " Oh Jasper, this place is beautiful", she looked around taking everything in I just took her in.

I laid the blanket out and we both sat down, I wanted to read her emotions but I was going to control this need, I wanted her feelings to be hers right now I was going to let her open up to me on her own. She pulled her knees tightly to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs resting her face on her knee caps, I stretched my legs out crossing them at the ankles I leaned back on my hands. " Thank you for taking me here Jasper" she smiled at me, hopefully that smile will stay.

We sat there for just a little bit not saying anything just enjoying the sights and company, then I spoke up " darlin " she looked over to me resting her right cheek on her knee " there are a few more things we need to talk about, I am not sure how you feel about talking about this but I was wondering….what happened the day we left?" She looked back out over the lake and her face told me she was in a different place and a different time but I waited.. I was not going to press her.

After a few good few minutes she sighed and spoke softly " after school Edward was at my house, he beat me there and he said he wanted to go for a walk, so we walked but this was a short walk and he stopped", she paused and her emotions were breaking. " He told me…." she closed her eyes " he told me he didn't want me anymore, and that he didn't love me, I was just a distraction" all I could think about once those words left her soft lips was ' that fucking grade A asshole' but she went on " he said it would be as if he never existed and my human mind would forget".

How in the hell could he have done that to her, I mean he broke her in so many ways with just a few words. She was spiraling down fast, I decided to clam her I reached over and caressed her cheek she once more leaned into my touch she was going to need all the help I can give once I drop this on her.

"Bella, I need to tell you something and I am not really sure how your going to take it but I need to tell you because you deserve to know I will not keep things from you like he did". She looked back over toward me her eyes so deep and thoughtful, " Bella Edward is coming back, in a few days he will be home" her heart rate spiked, I was not sure how to take this then I saw her hands balled into tight little fists. "Bella there is more, he is not coming home alone…" I told myself ' just like a band aide Jasper' " he is bring home his fiancé " . Here it comes… her heart was racing and she went threw hurt betrayal anger worthlessness and all back around again like her emotions where on a turn table.

I closed my eyes as I took in everything she was throwing out, and I had my own hurt on top of that, she does not want me I was just a connection to him everything Alice said didn't matter she had been wrong before. I just worked on the task at hand, fix Bella so she might have a fighting chance with him again, once I got her calm she looked over at me. "Jasper, I am sorry I know this must be hard on you" more then you know…more then you know. " No Bella its fine remember what I told you in Phoenix …you are worth it."

Her feelings settled on realization "Bella what's on your mind" " its just, I knew I was never enough for him it was never about my soul he was trying to save it was he didn't want me forever how could I be so stupid" " look I know this is not what you wanted to hear right now but he did love you Bella, it was real at the time and he truly thought he was doing the right thing" .

We sat in silence again before she spoke again, "Jasper, I am not a mind reader but I can tell something is bothering you, and I am going to take a shot in the dark here, but I want you to know I am over him, yes it still hurts but he wanted me to move on and he obviously has himself, its just I a so confused on so many things" . I opened my eyes and looked at her " like what darlin" " well for starters, why am I not feeling like I am being ripping apart from the inside out".

"Bella, I am not doing anything… " she cut me off " no that's not what I am saying, well I am not sure what I am saying but I know what I am feeling, and I know its taking a lot out of me to keep my feelings from you" she gave a little smile. "I want to feel it Bella please let me in" she moved over and rested her head on my shoulder, I thought about it for a half second and wrapped an arm around her holding her close to my side. It was then I felt it, comfort peace and gratefulness, I smiled "thank you". "No Jasper, I should be thanking you, I really believed I was no good anymore and that feelings like this were something I could never have, but you are showing me I am not broken"

I leaned over and kissed the top of my head, "anytime angel anytime, I am here like I said before, Bella I was wondering if tomorrow… you would like to go on a date with me". I heard her heart rate speed up again, and she was quiet for a bit. " Yes Jasper I would love to". I was grinning from ear to ear as we sat there and she started to shiver I slid my jacket off and slipped it over her shoulders and she put her arms into it pulling closed " I should be getting you back".

We were back on the bike her head in between my shoulders her arms snugly around me I took my time getting back I didn't want the night to end, but before I knew it we were back at her house, I left the bike running as I walked her to the door, she turned to me and smiled her cheeks only a faint pink of blush. " goodnight angel, I will see you tomorrow, I will come get you around noon ok?" "ok Jasper, goodnight". With out thinking I leaned down and kissed her a sweet kiss, her arms wrapped around my neck and we held the kiss till she needed to break away for a breath, she smiled at me again and with another goodnight she went inside and I headed for my bike feeling like I was on cloud 9, I never really understood that phrase till just now.

A/N …. some pics for this chapter should be up in the next couple days ^.^


	11. Lyrics and Lips

**Can You Look At Me Now?**

**Disclaimer~~ we do not own Buffy, or any of the music, and we STILL don't own Twilight!**

Bpov

I walked in the house the only light coming from inside was the flicker of the TV but the sound was down to a low mumble, and I noticed what was on, he was fucking watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I groaned a little and walked the rest of the way in dreading this coming conversation. Jake was flopped across the whole damn couch, and most of the time I would just sit on him but this time I opted to sit on the floor in front of him and I reached over to snatch the remote, but he was just a little quicker. "Damn Bells.. I am watching some educational programming here", I just rolled my eyes I knew he was pissed.

" Look Jake I know your pissed, at me right now, but if you care about me you are just going to drop this. I need them. " I felt the couch start to shake, but stayed right were I was with my knees to my chest holding them close to my body, I don't like hurting him so much. " why am I not enough for you Bella, what can I do to make you see how much I love you, and how badly they fucked up" . I winced little at his harsh tone.

"Jake, you were there for me when I needed you most, I do love you but ….you knew from the get go it was not like that and it would never be like that". All I felt was a gust of wind blowing my hair and I looked up and he was standing in front of my now, his whole body tense ..this was not going to be good.

"Marry me Bella" I just rolled my eyes "can you be serious for once please" I look up at him and the look on his face told me everything, shit. "Bella, I have never ever been more serious in my whole life, marry me I love you" I pulled my fingers threw my hair and sighed I stood up and looked him right in the face " I just.. I cant deal with this no I'm not going to marry you…ever…and I am done with this conversation now… and I am going to take a shower and go to bed and forget this happened" .

I headed for my room and I heard him smirk, " want me to come help you unwind in there" I stopped and turned to him "Jacob Black!" " what ….its not like I haven't done that for you before, and if memory serves right from just last week you enjoyed it". He had a cocky ass grin on his face I swear if I had a bat or something I would have cracked him upside his fat head. I rolled my eyes again and headed for my bedroom door "good night Jacob" . "hey Bells" he was using that sweet tone with me again " am I sleeping in my bed tonight?"

"yes Jacob, your sleeping in the dog house" I smiled and went in my room and shut the door.

As I was in the shower, I kept replaying everything that happened today, I felt like I was starting to lose my grip, I got out of the shower, I wrapped my hair up and wrapped myself up in a overly fluffy towel, and went to sit on the edge of my bed and out of nowhere I just had the biggest smile on my face. I turned on my ipod I keep it on shuffle and when the song started I looked at it like it was telling me a bad joke, but then I just laid back and let the words of the song filter into my head I was asleep fast. (A/N, the song that is playing, is Forever by Papa Roach). We were together standing at our spot, his cold smooth hand wrapped around mine. We stood with out a word but I knew this time, he was not going to leave me, I felt so secure.

I woke up still in my towel, but the one from my hair had fallen out sometime in the night, I rolled over but noticed there was something heavy on me besides the towel. "Damnit Jacob!" I threw his arm off me and sat up holding the towel tightly, he stirred a little I knew he was awake just acting like he was still asleep. "I thought I told you to stay in your own damn bed". He just rolled to his back and smiled his bright toothy smile " I got lonely Bells". Argh....I got up and grabbed my clothes and stomped off to my bathroom and I slammed the door for added effect.

When I came out of the bathroom he was laying on my bed still his hands behind his head, he was the picture of laid back I suppressed a growl, I just walked out of the room and I went up to his room I stomped more making sure he would hear me in there and went to his dresser and grabbed some clothes for him and went back to my room and threw his clothes in his face. "Get dressed and get out of my room Jake" I folded my arms and glared at him. " but Bells, can you blame me for wanting to cash in my quality time with you".

I walked out to the kitchen and got made myself some toast, as it was toasting I looked at the clock and it was 8:12 am, I slumped into the chair. Little less then four hours till he gets here, time is going to drag and I am stuck here with a cocky wolf and no truck. As I nibbled at my toast I looked out the window and my heart jumped I stood and leaned closer to the window, sitting in the driveway was my Durango.

I smiled big, and I threw my half piece of toast away and got a bottle of water, Jake was standing in the door way of my room, I looked over at him. "yeah they brought it back around three o'clock this morning, your going aint you?" the look on his face told me he was hurting I just nodded and he walked up to his room and I heard his stereo blast. I slipped my shoes on looked over my clothes once more to make sure yesterday was not repeated, and I headed out the door got to my truck I opened the door and there was a note on the center armrest with my keys. The hand writing was smooth but still guy'ish ' Darlin I thought you might be needin this I will see you around noon, Jasper.' I laughed to myself as I got in and started the truck ' your gonna see me sooner then that' I headed over there.

I no longer drove like a little ol' lady so I was there in no time, once I pulled into the clearing that was their yard, I saw Alice sitting on the steps fondling a flower she looked up at me as I got out and the smile on her face was one I knew well.. She knew something and was not going to share it. I walked over to her "Bella, its not noon yet, I would ask you what brings you buy but I already know the answer that" she giggled. " hi Alice, is Jasper home ?"

She looked me over a little bit before she answered me " yes Bella, he is here, and we really need to plan a shopping trip" she stood up and went to the door opening it and stepping aside for me to come in. " He's in his room go on up". The look on her face worried me slightly but I headed up the stairs. Once more I had a tight feeling inside as I walked past 'his' door, but then I thought of the better place I am going to, as I passed the door I flipped it off, childish I know but it made me feel better, as I got to the bottom of the stairs to Jaspers room, I heard a guitar and singing, the boy likes his music loud, I can deal with this, I smiled and softly went up the stairs thinking just maybe I could surprise him.

I got to the second step from the top and saw him with his back toward me, it was him that was playing and it was him that was singing, I stood there and listened taking in his words.

**_Hello I'm your martyr, will you be my gangster_**

**_Can you feel my trigger hand, moving farther down your back?_**

**_When you hide, hide inside that body, But just remember that, when I touch you_**

**_The more you shake, the more you give away._**

**_Cold, but I'm still here, blind, cause I'm so blind,_**

**_Say never, we're far from comfortable this time_**

**_Cold, we're so cold, mine, and your not mine, say never. _**

**_We're far from obvious this time. _**

**_Wait another minute here, time will kill us after all _**

**_Now you can feel its second hand wrapped around you neck_**

**_So Fall into my eyes, but don't you forget._**

**_The more you turn away, the more I want you to stay. _**

**_Cold, but I'm still here, blind, cause I'm so blind,_**

**_Say never, we're far from comfortable this time. _**

**_Cold, we're so cold, mine, and your not mine, say never_**

**_We're far from obvious this time. _**

**_Your so endearing, your so beautiful, _**

**_Well I don't look like they do, and I don't love like they do_**

**_But I don't hate like they do, am I ever on your mind?_**

**_Cold, but I'm still here, blind, cause I'm so blind,_**

**_Say never, we're far from comfortable this time. _**

**_Cold, we're so cold, mine, and your not mine, say never_**

**_We're far from obvious this time. _**

**_Cold, you broke me from the very first night, _**

**_I'd love you till the day that I die_**

**_I'm far too comfortable this time_**

**_Cold, I loved you from the very first night _**

**_You Broke me till the day that I die _**

**_I'm far to obvious this time._ **

Jpov

I knew she thought she was being sneaky, and once she was at the top of the stairs she felt excitement, and I picked up a slight hint of love, this made me smile luckily my back was to her, I kept going knowing my words were getting to her. I got done with that song I quickly went to another one that was floating around in my head all night, I wanted to have her hear it.

**_We love our tragedies, we are both broken in our own little ways_**

**_We're broken, but we fit together just right_**

**_You know I saw the black inside your eyes_**

**_I saw they were eclipsed by mine, and they looked just right _**

**_When our lips meet, will you know me then_**

**_And will you want to know it?_**

**_It feels I have known you for so long _**

**_When our lips meet, will you love me then _**

**_And will you ever know it ?_**

**_It seems like you have known me so long_**

**_I love your analogies, we're both crazy in our own little ways _**

**_We talk about the future and our past lives_**

**_I know I loved you then, I know I'd love you now, I know I'll loved you then, I know I love you now._**

**_When our lips meet, will you know me then_**

**_And will you want to know it?_**

**_It feels I have known you for so long _**

**_When our lips meet, will you love me then _**

**_And will you ever know it ?_**

**_It seems like you have known me so long_**

**_But you cant have everything you want, when you want it_**

**_I'll be everything you want, when you want it_**

**_Wait for me . Just for me .Fall for me . _**

**_Even when you don't know your falling for me. _**

**_When our lips meet, will you know me then_**

**_And will you want to know it?_**

**_It feels I have known you for so long _**

**_When our lips meet, will you love me then _**

**_And will you ever know it ?_**

**_It seems like you have known me so long_**

**_When our hearts meet, will we make it then?_**

**_Will we even notice, that they are eclipsed?_**

As I was setting the guitar back into its stand "you can come in now" I said, she was throwing love at me in waves now I smiled ear to ear as I turned and saw her come up the last few stairs her cheeks bright red, as I looked at her I felt her defeat, I am sure it was cause she did not get to sneak up on me, she moved closer to me, and I closed the gap and took her in my arms. I kissed the top of her head and she looked up at me, and I felt want and a hint of lust. "darlin" my voice was low "you might want to take a big breath" as soon as she did, my lips crashed to hers with a deep need.

I held the back of her neck with my left hand and her lower back with my right, and I passionately kissed and dipped her at the same time. Her arms held me tightly to her and her lips parted slightly as I grazed her bottom lip with my tongue, her heart rate went nuts at this point, as she opened her mouth a little more and our tongues twisted together. She yearned for more, my fingers tangled into her hair still keeping her locked in pace, but after a few more seconds I gradually broke the kiss for her to breath.

I stood her back up right and smiled at her, her cheeks were flushed." You're a little early aint ya angel?". It took her a second to regain a normal thought pattern, damn I liked havin this effect on her she blinked a few times. " yeah well, I um, I thought I would surprise you sense you brought back my truck, thanks." It seems her thoughts were still scattered, hell yeah. "No problem darlin Emmett took care of it for ya", she looked over her shoulder toward the stairs and called out just a little louder then normal speaking voice " Thanks Emmett".

"Well, what would you like to do now, I mean I was not planning on you bein here till noon, so I got nothing ready." She smiled at me and walked over to the loveseat sitting down she asked me "well Jasper, I would love to hear you play some more, would you mind", I thought for a second and smiled knowing the perfect song "I would love to darlin", I picked my electric guitar up and pegged everything in and started with a heavy riff.

**_Caught up in this madness, to blind to see_**

**_Woke animal feelings in me, took over my sense and I lost control_**

**_I'll taste your blood tonight_**

**_You know I make you wanna scream,_**

**_You know I make you wanna run from me, baby_**

**_But no, it's to late, you wasted all your time_**

**_Relax while your closing your eyes to me_**

**_So warm as I'm setting you free,_**

**_With your arms by your side, there's no struggling _**

**_Pleasures all mine this time_**

**_Ooh, you know I make you wanna scream_**

**_You know I make you wanna run from me, baby_**

**_But no, it's to late, you wasted all your time_**

**_Cherishing those feelings, pleasuring, cover me _**

**_Unwanted clemency, _**

**_Scream till there's silence, scream while there's life left vanishing_**

**_Scream from the pleasure, unmask your desire, perishing_**

**_We've all a time where we lost control_**

**_We've all had our time to grow_**

**_I'm hoping I am wrong, but I know I'm right_**

**_I'll hunt again one night_**

**_Ooh, you know I make you wanna scream_**

**_You know I make you wanna run from me, baby_**

**_But no, it's to late, you wasted all your time_**

**_Cherishing those feelings, pleasuring, cover me _**

**_Unwanted clemency, _**

**_Scream till there's silence, scream while there's life left vanishing_**

**_Scream from the pleasure, unmask your desire, perishing_**

**_Scream till there's silence, scream while there's life left vanishing_**

**_Scream from the pleasure, unmask your desire, perishing_**

**_Some live repressing their instinctive feelings _**

**_Protest the way we're built, don't point the blame on me,_**

**_Scream! Scream! Scream!_**

**_The way you would if I ravaged your body_**

**_Scream! Scream! Scream!_**

**_The way you would If I ravaged your mind _**

**_Cherishing those feelings, pleasuring, cover me _**

**_Unwanted clemency, _**

**_Scream till there's silence, scream while there's life left vanishing_**

**_Scream from the pleasure, unmask your desire, perishing_**

**_Scream till there's silence, scream while there's life left vanishing_**

**_Scream from the pleasure, unmask your desire, perishing._**

A/n~~

Songs in order of appearance

Evans Blue - Cold ( but I'm still here )

Evans Blue - Eclipsed

Avenged Sevenfold - Scream

Also… pics for chapter 8 have been added to p/f .


	12. Tipsy, Teasing, and Hot wet Full Moons

**Can You Look At Me Now?**

A/N~~ Sorry it took a bit for this one, the next one should go up a little faster,hopfuly before the holiday weekend, thanks for stickin with us!! Hope you enjoy this one, cause next chapter its going to hit the fan....OH and always, we are just loaning Twilight from Stephenie Meyer (so yeah that means we dont own it).. we promise to give it back when we are done playing ^.~

JPOV

After the song I could tell I was reaching my goal to win her heart, we sat together talking about everything from music to books and movies, and about the family, everything but Edward. I was so wrapped up into Bella Alice and her evil little self caught me off guard when she came up to tell me it was 11:57 I actually jumped a little and growled, Bella fell over sideways on the arm of the loveseat laughing at me. Once Alice was done giggling she asked " why aren't you two gone yet", she smiled and disappeared back down the stairs.

I stood up and walked over by the closet and grabbed a duffel bag I had pre-packed. She smiled but gave me a look asking with her eyes what hell am I up too, this gave her reassurance Alice was not involved in this I just smiled and took her hand and we headed downstairs, she was excited but clam at the same time.

We walked into the kitchen, and I let go of her hand opening the refrigerator that was completely empty except a picnic basket I scooped it up turning to her, she had an eye brow cocked up I smirked. "Alice told me I had to feed you exactly at 4:22pm and if I didn't feed you in such time you were going to turn into a evil little gremlin…all rawr rawr rawr." As I walked past her with a grin she threw an elbow I dropped to the floor and curled into the fetal position and started screaming "oh god help us all…its starting already."

She rolled her eyes and was holding in a smile doing a shitty job of it, "oh get up, this is behavior unbecoming of an officer." I jumped to my feet and gave her a salute with a wink and we headed out the door. "I think we should take your truck, hauling this on the bike would be a pain in the ass…for you" she walked to the truck and did something that I was not expecting, she held out the keys for me I remember Edward always bitching about her never wanting him to drive her truck. I took the keys loaded the things into the back seat and we were off.

We pulled up and she felt anticipation and …giddiness' I looked over to her expecting her to bust out in a giggle fit right here, so I decided I would help her with that and I sent her waves of laughter. After the laughing fit and her threaten to letting lose the dreaded gremlin we got out I grabbed all the shit from the back then lead her to the shoreline. We were back at Lake Crescent though it was a different part, we were close to the waterfall. She walked to the waters edge as I set the blanket out and put the basket on it, she felt peace, happiness and it was true happiness coming from her I could not help but smile as I walked over to her wrapping my arms around her waist I leaned down and rested my chin on her shoulder.

We stood there, for just a little bit then I took her hand leading her over to the blanket we laid on our backs looking at the sliver grey sky our fingers laced together, I got a flash of curiosity from her, I rolled my head toward her "what are you wondering Bella, you know curiosity killed the cat." She smiled then asked "so what have you been doing to keep yourself busy?"

"Well, it was right after me and Alice called it quits I went to Denali and made up my mind right then I was going to control this thirst, for awhile I did a lot of self loathing but once I pulled my head from my ass I knew the only way to fight is to throw myself right in the mix of it." I looked back at the sky as I thought of what I went threw to fight the thirst.

"Ya know darlin…I have not had one slip up in three years and now its not even a thought in my head, all I kept thinking about was your face on your birthday as I was snapping my teeth toward you," I felt her shiver slightly. "Bella you are the reason I was able to beat the thirst inside me, you had givin me more power then you will know."

"I took small steps at first, little things like I went to the community collage for a year, got invited and went to some parties found some people that got me into some good music. I even went to a few concerts here and there. Then it was time I felt to go back to my family I knew I had made so much progress I went to New York to Carlisle and Esme, at first I was nervous to be in the big city like that but I was ok, I even was in time square for New Years Eve. It was soon after that the rest of the family started to file in, first it was Alice and her thousands of shopping bags," I laughed a little as I remembered. " I swear Bella, she showed up with a u-haul, not long after that Rose and Emmett came back, we all enjoyed the silence when we had it. About three weeks ago Alice was in the living room moving things around, she was always trying to distract herself, she had a vision that brought us here."

I looked back over to her again and she was deep in thought, "Jasper what was the vision that would bring you all back here against his wishes", " she saw…..you coming to the house and seeing we had not come back…you broke down and seeing you that hurt, we could not let it go on anymore, we saw you needed us just as much as we all needed you."

She slid over to me and I wrapped an arm around her and she nestled into my shoulder, I felt so right here with her and knowing she wanted to know about me and was interested in me, I felt like I might have this under control before Edward comes back causing mental disaster. It still worried me deep down on what is going to happen when he does get here, ok so he has moved on but does that mean he cares less for Bella, and having her interested in me of all people is not going to help, I know for a fact he still holds me partly reasonable for us having to leave, but shit it could be worse she could have hooked up with Jacob I laughed to myself.

As we laid there I looked over her, she was wearing some very nice fitting black hip huggers, black boots and a Rob Zombie living dead girl baby doll style tee shirt that was black with the living dead girl pin up sitting on a tomb stone with a full moon behind her. She had over that a black long sleeve zip up shirt on one side had Jack and Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas and it had bats going down it. "hey Bella, can I ask, what caused the change in dress."

She thought about it for just a second "I wanted people to be able to see what I was feeling on the inside, not everybody is empathic Jasper, I was in a dark place for a very long time at some points I thought I was never going to see the light of things again." "I found music was the best life line I was able to grasp, it was like they knew my pain with out knowing me."

We laid there just making small talk when my phone started to yell 'feed me feed me', what the hell, I pulled it out of my pocket and opened it someone I am sure named Alice set an alarm on my phone to go off at 4:22. Bella looked at me with question, "its time to feed the human I guess" she laughed as she sat up. I sat up as well and pulled the basket over and opened it "well chief Jasper what is on the menu today for the human".

"Well ma'am, today's house special is spaghetti and meatballs with a side of …." I made a face as I took out the garlic bread and set it next to the spaghetti, "garlic bread, but I will warn you now miss Bella, I will not be kissing you if you chose the side dish, I just wanted you to have to option." "Jasper I know for a fact that garlic does not harm vampires so nah" " I know darlin its just I cant stand garlic" I laughed as she blushed, then I took out the rest of the things, I had strawberry shortcake for desert and some wine. I set the glass down and filled her glass for her.

She felt loved, I looked at her and smiled, "yes angel I do love you, and just for merit points, I made everything myself….well except the wine." She sipped the wine and started to eat as I sat back and watched. She ate about half and by then she had three glasses of wine I could tell it was going to her head, she also had a faint red perma tint.

I got the desert out and pulled a can of whip cream from the basket and she started to giggle as I felt lust come from her she asked " where's the handcuffs" " that comes later darlin."

I got a small spoon full of the strawberry shortcake and I fed her, for human food I would have to say this smells the best. She giggled a little more here and there, and had one more glass of wine "I don't think I should have anymore wine, unless you have a medical kit in your magic bag as well."

She only took a few more bites of the desert "Jasper everything was wonderful, you are a really good cook" "thank you darlin, are you ready for part two of this.." she was shocked "there is more?" I stood up and held my hand out for her I helped her up, she wobbled a little bit, this was going to be interesting. I held her hand and grabbed the duffel bag and I started off toward the water fall.

I led her down a path that took us behind the waterfall as she looked around with amazement, I will give her credit she only stumbled a few times, no broken bones thus far. Once we got under the water she looked around at the hidden hot spring I had already set candles out and on the edge of the water were a dozen roses, I set the bag down and walked over to them picking them up and I held them out to her, her eyes lit up as she took them and smelled them, she noticed right away one rose was off, I took her face lightly in my hands looking her deeply in the eyes, she asked me " why is there one fake rose in there." "Bella, my angel I will love you till the last rose dies."

Her eyes were full of unshed tears of happiness, and she was melting like putty. I simply kissed her cheek , "ahh Jasper, we cant go in there I don't have a bathing suit with me" I grinned "I got this covered" I opened the bag and pulled out a swimsuit I had bought for her myself and my board shorts, I handed over hers and I pulled out some towels. "I will turn around so you can change" she gave a smile that was just a hint of evil I wonder what this little vixen is up to.

She headed closer to the hot spring and I headed closer to the entrance.

BPOV

I started to get undressed still grinning to myself ' if he was going to be a gentleman that does not mean I have to be a lady' I turned and looked over at him just as he got his pants down, my heart felt like it was running a marathon I hurried up and turned back knowing damn well he can hear my heart, but holy shit he has a nice firm….lushes…ass.

As I got the green two piece bathing suit on, I wondered if Alice had anything to do with this. Once I was done I turned back to him and he was standing there with a cocky smirk on his face, shit he knew I snuck a peak. His eyes wondered over my body a few times, and with out really knowing mine were doing the same to his, his body was unbelievable, he was firm in all the right places, I started to get goose bumps and he headed over to me.

He got closer and then I got a good view of his upper body, he had more scars then I had thought, I knew about the ones on his neck and arms but it seems his whole torso was covered in half moons. His expression changed he must have picked up on what I was feeling about his body and took it the wrong way. "I know Bella, it looks bad I am sorry I am not a pretty boy… " he stopped himself. "Oh Jasper" I walked over to him, his head was down slightly I reached over and ran a finger down his chest touching many scars as I went down just to his shorts line he shivered under my touch, "these are proof of what a strong being you really are, I wouldn't have you any other way. I leaned in and kissed one right above where his heart is.

JPOV

If I could cry I would have right then and there, Alice always said my scars did not bother her, but she never told me anything like that, and she would try not to touch them if she had a choice. I wrapped my arms around Bella, and I felt her shiver she was cold and I was not helping so I pulled back and she turned to the hot spring I noticed a fairly large tattoo on her lower back, it was of a fallen angel. I stepped into the hot spring first and reached out for her hand and helped her into the water so we did not have to take a side trip to the ER.

BPOV

The water was soothing as I eased in, Jaspers hand clasped around mine, I was positive he was making sure I was not going to break myself. We moved to the deeper area of the spring and sank into the water to our necks. We were sitting on a ledge I rested my head on the rock behind me, Jasper was sitting a few feet away, I wondered why the sudden distance. Before I had a chance to ask he was sliding over to me his arm draped over my shoulders still under the warm water " I wanted to make sure you got warm before I came over darlin'".

I looked over at him and he was deep in thought I could not help but smile, I never really looked at Jasper before, how I could have not I don't know then he looked at me his face full of questions, oh man this is going to be strange. I guess we should get this over with it was going to happen sooner or later, " Bella, I could not help but notice the artwork on your beautiful back, what happened to her?" Man he really does not beat around the bush I really had to think about how I was going to word this, I did not want to make him feel like shit, but…..I took a slow breath and let it out " I feel into a long deep hole and I felt like I was broken, I needed the best expression of pain I could think of and this just seemed to fit everything I was going threw and everything inside my heart.

" Its Edwards fault isn't it " his voice was careful. I closed my eyes with my head tiled up I could not look into his eyes as we talked about this, I still was not sure if I was ever ready to talk about this, it seemed I had no real choice at this point, so I started with the most painful point in my life.

"Jasper, I always knew deep down I was not enough for him I mean really who were we kidding, but to hear the words come from his lips was to much to bare, he broke me with one sentence and left the pieces as he disappeared " "Bella, exactly what did he say to you?", I could not blame Jasper for wanting to know but did I really have to do this, I thought it out and I came to the conclusion that I wanted Jasper to know everything.

All at once his words swirled in my head, "_Bella, we need to talk,….. We are leaving…where we're going its not the right place for you…I'm no good for you Bella …..my world is not for you … Bella I don't want you to come with me ….I'll always love you…in a way….I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not Bella….I am not human….you're no good for me….this will be the last time you see me… it will be as if never existed" _

Out of nowhere I started to feel very pissed just for a second then it went away. I looked over and Jaspers jaw was clenched and he looked like he could rip someone's head off, I did not have to think hard of who's head he was thinking about ripping off there was a growl coming from deep inside his chest.

As I watched him debating on what to do, or say it was like someone hit the switch in his head, and his perfect features smoothes back out, he pulled me to his lap so I was facing him and his eyes burned deep into mine I was not sure if I was just lost in his eyes or if he was doing the stupid vampire dazzling thing to me. "Darlin, I want you to know and really understand what a selfish being I really am…I will want you no matter what, only my death will keep us apart , and I will do anything in the world to keep you as mine." I was not sure if I just heard him right, "anything Jasper?" he cupped the side of my neck "anything," he leaned in for what I thought would be a kiss, and just before his lips reached mine he tilted my head to the side and I faintly felt his teeth graze my neck just about to my collar bone. I could not hold in the soft moan that escaped my lips and then I found out the sayings are true about the size of things in Texas.

JPOV

Not only did that fuck ass lying prick break up with her, he broke her soul, I never thought he would be so cruel. I let my anger slip for just a second once it hit Bella I reeled it back in, I will deal with him later right now she is my main concern. It was hard to control my lust when I pulled her onto my lap but I needed to say a few things first. Before I knew it was once again confession my utter devotion to her, as I went on her feelings shot into me, she felt safe and loved, then I picked up pure excitement and hope when I told her I would do anything, so I decided to play with her a little and give her a preview of what's to come, I ever so softly raked my teeth across her warm soft flesh, it took more then just bloodlust control at that point, my body was screaming to take her right then and there.

There was a certain part of this lust I could not hide once I heard the sweet sound of her moan I knew right away when she noticed I was standing at attention, I thought for sure she would have freaked out and moved but she did the opposite and the little sex kitten that she is, she pressed herself down on me harder with a slight hip roll. I could not contain the growl that came from me, that still did not scare her off, damn I was on a roll here. The lust was thick between the two of us it was hard to maintain, and fucking christ my swim shorts were tight. I wrapped one hand around her waist pulling her tightly to me my other hand tangled into her hair at the base of her neck as I pulled her lips to mine gently nipping at her lower lip for entrance.

I pulled away and I heard a soft whimper from her I smiled and pressed my forehead to hers " angel," my voice was low and ragged, " if we don't stop this now, I will not be able to stop later" she started to protest but I stopped " I didn't say we were not going to… real soon" I empathized on real soon, " we need to just hold off a little bit longer darlin," we sat there for just a little while longer, her on my lap her head rested in the crook of my neck I mindlessly played with her hair, and she would give me random kisses on my neck.

After some time had passed she started to yawn so I carefully got up pulling her into my arms I carried her out of the hot spring and set her on the edge, I reached over and grabbed the towels and wrapped one around her and giving her a kiss on the top of the head. "I think its time for us to be goin now darlin, I was wondering before we go, will you stay with me tonight" even though her eyes were tired they lit up " I would love to stay the night with you Jasper, but…" she grinned " I think you should invest in a bed … soon." Wow she was planning on staying more I grinned from ear to ear as I started to dry myself off, I just grabbed my shirt and threw it on as she just started to put her clothes on over her bathing suit.

I grabbed the bag and took her hand as we walked back to the picnic area, I gathered the things there. We got back to the truck and she was shivering, opened her door and with the quickness I was in the drivers seat starting it getting the heat cranked. "Jasper, thank you so much…for everything" I reached over and took her hand and kissed the top of it before lacing my fingers with hers.

She was just about asleep by the time we got to the house, I parked close to the porch and moved to her side opening the door, I pulled her into my arms bridal style she relaxed into my chest, we were both peaceful, I went right up the stairs I heard the family doing random things around the house, when I passed Edwards bedroom she did not look over or feel anything, she just kept her face to my chest her feelings were all mine.

I set her on the loveseat and placed the bag on the floor next to it she looked up at me with a slight pouty lip, "Jasper, I'm all went, and I have nothing to sleep in" her eyes darted to the stairs, I laughed a little she was looking out for Alice. "I got something for ya darlin don't worry that pretty lil head of yours", I went to my closet and got her a light grey long sleeve button up shirt, I went back to her and held it out " I hope this will work to keep you warm my dear, your ..ah undergarments are in the beg, would you like me to step out so you can change?"

The wonder blush filled her cheeks, and she smiled " no Jasper its ok I don't mind you in here, I trust you wont peek" " well thank ya darlin, but I honesty don't trust myself, I will give you a moment" she nodded with little pout and I almost recalled my decision, but she grabbed the bag and the shirt I had givin her and went to the second floor bathroom for her 'human moment'. while she was gone I pulled out a pair of warm flannel pj bottoms and a black wife beater I sat on the couch and waited till I heard her soft foot steps on the stairs.

I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head, she had on my shirt, two buttons from the top left undone and two from the bottom left undone, she swam in the shirt but it was fuckin hot, and I saw from the bottom she had red lace boy short style panties on, oh dear god I was going to lose it she did not have a bra on. I adjusted on the couch a little and she came over sitting next to me, I carefully pulled her down so she was laying on my lap and I ran my fingers threw her hair, "darlin, tomorrow the family is going to go hunting in the morning, we should all be back little after noon, you can sleep in and stay here till we get back if you would like", I felt a little sadness creep into her emotions I leaned over and kissed her temple. "We will all be back in no time, but you really stretched my thirst limit tonight angel, it will be ok I promise" she was already drifting off to sleep when she gave a weak nod and whispered " just come back to me Jasper," it was soon after that she was in a restful sleep, I just leaned back and closed my eyes and imaged that I was sleeping with her.


	13. Why Edward, is that Jealousy your wearin

**Can you look at me now?**

A/N ~~ We just wanted to drop a little note to let everyone know, characters might get a littleOOC for a bit but rest assured things will smooth out in time.. And there is going to be a lot of POV changes in this chapter, there is going to be a lot going on… We also wanted to express our gratitude to everyone who has read/reviewed/ story and author alerted …a very special thank you to Navygirl14, LunarEclispe1, Tigger5600,AriesFireQn, NCChris. Ya'll are wonderful.. don't forget **New **pic links are up in the profile !!!!! Thanks for your patience and as always Enjoy!

*Lemon in chapter is clearly marked if you do not wish to read jump ahead it is not imperative to the story line*

**DISCLAIMER!! ... holy crap***smacks self in head* ' must remember disclaimers!! **We Don't own TWILIGHT or anything that has to do with TWILIGHT!!... but hahaha we do own Adreanna and AnnaLeah now!!**

BPOV

I woke up on the loveseat stretching out a little, even though there was only small windows in this room it was bright, I wanted to sleep more, cause I knew the longer I slept the sooner he would be home, but it was just not going to happen. I sat up and looked over at an outfit neatly laid out on a chair I sighed and rolled my eyes as I stood up "Alice" I grumbled out, she really needs the memo that my style has changed but who am I to bitch about clean clothes at this point.

I also noticed my toiletries bag was sitting next to the clothes thank god for small favors, I scooped everything up in one arm and headed down to the bathroom, strange as it was here with no lurking vampires, it was also peaceful. I got in the bathroom and locked the door, that is the last thing I need is someone sneaking up on me and me cracking my head open in the shower butt ass naked.

As the water started to heat up I brushed my hair out and noticed the smile was still plastered to my face as I was thinking about the wonderful night I had with Jasper, it was the happiest and most loved I have ever felt in my life….ever.

When I got out I wrapped my hair in a smaller towel and dried off the rest of my body with a big fluffy towel that was laid out. After I got dressed I sat on a small bench seat that was in the bathroom and leaned over towel drying my hair, as I was shaking it out I swore I heard something from downstairs, so I stopped and sat up my wet hair hanging in my face.

I heard something for sure this time, something that made my heart drop into the very pit of my stomach, it was a hauntingly familiar sound to me, a sound I would often hear in my sleep but something was off about it, something darker.

The tune dug its way into my head, I stood slowly grabbing countertop for support, I was trapped there was no way I could get out of this now. I know deep down if they would have known he was coming back now, Jasper would have never left me alone here with him. It felt like I had been in here for hours but really its only been minutes I have been working on not hyperventilating, I knew sooner or later I would have to confront him but I only hoped I would not be alone to do it, but maybe its better this way Jasper should not have to feel or even feel this.

It took me forever just to steady my hand enough to open the damn door, once the door was open the music pulsed around me. ' Its just Edward Bella.. Come on now no big deal right … its not like he's the big bad wolf… I have moved on for the better.. Come on you silly little girl just go down there' .

Soon I was hyperaware of my clothing or lack there of in the chest area, too late for anything now I realized I was half way down the stairs I still gripping the rail like I was about to float away.

I got a quick happy thought as I wondered if he was going to notice I was in green.. Jaspers favorite color, this gave me the boost I needed to turn the corner to the living room, I leaned gently on the door frame taking in what I was seeing, and trying to process it. Then I heard 'her' speak even over the deranged version of 'my' lullaby "oh Edward such a beautiful piece what is it called?"

'His voice cut me harder then hers, "its nothing my love, its not even worth naming", as he said that he looked up right at me and flashed his crooked grin, somehow a growl slipped out of me and the girls head snapped up to me as well, was I in the twilight zone or something or was I looking in a damn mirror this chick looked just like me…well the old me.

I could not do anything at this point but stare, has he really lost his vampire mind, he leaned over and whispered something into her ear and kissed her on the cheek, she quickly got up and flittered past me up the stairs with out even a sideways glance, and Edward stood and moved in front of me, my heart was pounding but I held his glare.

Very bluntly he said " we need to go and talk" as he said this he grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door, just as we got to the steps he flung me onto his back I had no time to resist and he was flying threw the trees, I really did not want to be here right now, the longer he ran the more pissed I got, but I held it in until I felt the wind stop and he let me go, I looked around and could not fucking believe where he took me .

My anger boiled over at this point as I overlooked our meadow . "Why the fuck did you bring me here, I never wanted to see this place again as long as I live, this place makes me sick to my stomach and you are well on your way to having the same effect on me, who the hell do you think you are?" I only took a short breath before going on, it seems he was going to let me get this all out at once.

"So I see you found a sad excuse for a vampire version of me, does she smell like me as well, I mean really Edward, could it be anymore ironic, that I was not enough for you to turn me but yet you come crawling home with that , but don't you worry your pretty little mind reading head.. I will get my wish sooner then you think with out you…just how you wanted it" he glared at me, and spit out .. "still the stupid little lamb huh Isabella" I saw red so I gave him a full power right handed slap to his face, there was a audible crunching sound and I clinched my jaw not wanting to give him the satisfaction of more of my pain.

EPOV

It felt really good to be going home I had not seen the whole family in just about 3 years but I will say its strange to be going back to Forks, hopefully they checked it out before going back. Bella must have had moved on and gone away to school like she was supposed to or else they would not have come back. I pulled up to the house and I heard nothing from inside, they must all be out.

I am kind of glad for that it gives me and AnnaLeah and Adreanna a chance to get in and settled before we are bum rushed. I got out of the car, as I opened the house door I was bombarded with an overpowering sent, it about knocked me to the ground and I growled as I griped the door frame it was cracking under my hand. AnnaLeah popped her head in farther and smiled "Edward I did not know you have pets" I let a out a warning hiss what in the hell where they thinking.

Why would they make contact with her, why would they tell her I am coming home they knew damn well I was brining my love home. The girls walked in my head was still spinning from the wonderful sent that is Bella we all headed to the living room and Adreanna gave me a worried look, I flashed her a smile "that is not a pet love, that is Bella" she just gave me a knowing nod and walked over to the piano I was just about to ask her something when I heard movement.

For the love that is all vampire, she is still here, then it hit me like a bear where the movement was coming from she was in Jaspers room, jealousy washed over me. Her light footsteps came down the attic stairs I tensed I did not want to do this but she went into the bathroom closing and locking the door, stupid girl a lock will not keep anyone out.

I took a claming breath I did not want the other girls noticing my tension Adreanna was already sitting on the bench to the piano so I moved over to her kissing her on the cheek "play something for me my love" I could only think of one song right now so I slowly began a piece of music I have not played in years but it was just as if I played it yesterday.

As I played I kept thinking about the girl who inspired the music, I heard the shower turn off up stairs and the song started to take a dark turn my anger and pain and new found jealousy pumped into the notes that came from my fingers. It was then the bathroom door opened and I heard her slowly slink down the steps I continued to play.

Adreanna looked over to me "oh Edward such a beautiful piece what is it called?" I knew Bella was in the door way at this point and I felt I need to hurt her more, "its nothing my love, its not even worth naming".

I looked up at Bella and gave her my crooked grin that she would always say would dazzle her and she growled out to me it was the funniest sound I have heard in a long long time, Adreanna and Annaleah's heads snapped up I leaned over holding in a chuckle I whispered in her ear "I have to take care of some unfinished business I will only be a moment, be a dear and go wait for me in my room." I kissed her on the cheek and she hurried off.

Quickly I got up and went over to Bella, there was so much different about her she had changed so much over the years, I wonder why her appearance has changed so much, but no time to dwell on that, there was other things to be dealt with "we need to go and talk". Knowing Bella she was just about to protest as I grabbed her arm and pulled her out the door.

I had been away from her for so long the burn was almost to much to bare as I flung her onto my back and headed to the one place I knew we could talk.

I was not sure what to expect once we got there, but I am damn sure I could never of thought she could have been so aggressive I was in utter shock when I put her down and she unloaded on me, swearing even this was an entirely new Bella, even if I wanted I highly doubt she would have let me get a word in edgewise so I just sat back grit my teeth and let her go on with it. It was not until she said something about Adreanna that made me stop and think, damn she got me there I just really hope she does not point it out to anyone else.

It was when she started to talk about getting what she wanted that I started to really listen then I knew what she was getting at, she had talked Jasper into changing her I was raged,

"still the stupid little lamb, huh Isabella?" I knew right away using our old terms of endearment would strike something in her but I was not prepared for a slap to the face, I heard her bone break instantly but her face never changed rage and hate filled her eyes.

She would need medical attention I knew that for sure, I reached over to take her hand and look at it but she jerked it away "don't you dare touch me you god damned vampire, just take me home right this fucking second" she folded her arms I knew that was causing her more pain but she kept it inside, what have I done to this girl?

I held my breath as I picked her up in my arms she would not have been able to hold on my back , so I carried her and I headed off then it dawned on me I have not the slightest clue on where she lives, "Bella… I really need to know where I am taking you…. I can take you to the hospital if you would prefer" her tone was harsh and hurried, "no take me home and I live on the treaty line just west of your house" S

he never once looked back to me as she was in my arms I got a faint smell of Jasper on her, how the hell could she put herself in that much danger did she forget what happened on her birthday I was getting pissed again.

Before I knew it we were at the steps to her house and Jacobs sent was strong here I walked up the first few steps and quite literally dumped her on her ass and disappeared.

BPOV

My tear ducts were still hard wired to my anger, I could not believe that I did not cry in front of him but that jackass just dropped me on my porch, I wanted to rip his stupid head off like a dandelion. My hand was throbbing but what else could I do I wanted to call Jasper but I knew he would not have his phone on while he was hunting.

I picked my ass up and went inside the door was unlocked but when I got inside I was thankful the tv was off that is a sure sign Jake was not home. I went to the kitchen and got out a bag of frozen peas and sulked over to the chair slamming down into it. There was a bottle of jack sitting on the table so with one skilled hand I took a shot.

I tried and tried to replay what went wrong in my head, but his words just made me more and more pissed _"still the stupid little lamb huh Isabella"_ I screamed out and threw the bag of peas, the bag burst open against the counter and rolled everywhere "ahhhhh fuck, stupid asshole mother fucking vampire!"

JPOV

As we were hunting Alice stopped dead in her tracks and looked at me with a painful look "Jasper, he came back early he took her to the meadow, they argued, she slapped him she is hurt, he took her home and dropped her hard on the steps and left she needs to see Carlisle her hand is broke. "

I almost didn't wait for her to finish telling me before I was running to bike that was just a few miles away from where we were hunting, then I hauled ass to Bella's house. I will deal with Edward later, my angel needed me.

As I walked to the steps I heard something thud against a wall and what sounded like little b.b.'s rolling around on the floor I got into the living room just in time to hear my darlin go off in a vulgar display I could not help myself from smiling, I leaned on the doorway to the kitchen.

" What have I done now darlin?" her head shot up I could see the tear stains on her cheeks, that preppy bastard made her cry. Alice was right she was cradling her right hand, but that did not stop her from running full tilt to me and wrapping her arms around me "oh Jasper you can never go hunting again", I smirked a little and pulled her off of me just a little so I could look at her hand she made a whimper I was not sure if it was from me pulling away or me touching her hand.

Yep it was broke not too bad though "darlin how about I take you to Carlisle to get that taken care of" she just nodded her emotions were all over the place.

"Bella there are so many things I am sorry about, first I am sorry for only having my bike…" we got out to the yard and over to the bike "Jasper, that's fine I can hold on with one hand" she leaned up and gave me a peck on the cheek, "second I am so very sorry for leaving you alone if I would have known that douche bag was going to be there I would have never left you". She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me on the lips I knew she forgave me I felt it, but that does not mean I forgive Edward. I got on the bike and reached over helping her on the best I could.

We pulled up to the hospital in Port Angeles that Carlisle worked at just as he was walking out, he looked at us with out me having to call him, he walked over with a smile on his face until he saw Bella's swollen hand.

CPOV

I had to laugh as I walked away from the nurses station after saying goodnight to the ladies I heard them giggle and whisper about me, even though my children do not think so once in awhile I enjoy dazzling as Bella once put it. I made it out the door with out any further nurse swooning and as I got to the parking lot I say Jaspers bike flying toward me, ahhh my son and soon to be daughter are here.

As they came to a screeching stop in front of me I started to worry on why they had come, it was then I saw Bella cradling her right hand against Jaspers back "what happened" Jasper got off the bike first and then lifted Bella off, I immediately went to her and gently took her hand and examined as we walked back into the hospital Jasper started to spill out the events I have missed out on

It took some time debating with Bella on whether or not she should be in a cast or not, I would have to say she won this one she is in a splint now with the stern warning if I catch her with it off, I will cast her immediately. I must say it was hard keeping my emotions in check with Jasper there, I did not want him to be more upset then he already is but I am so disappointed in Edward's actions he was never one to treat people let alone ladies like that, and Bella was once his deepest love.

I am going to have to get home as fast as I possibly can and prey I beat Jasper back, ahha the thought hit me hard and I went over to the cabinet and got out some pain medicine and handed it to Jasper, "Jasper she must eat something before taking these, there are plenty of wonderful restaurants right here in Port Angeles", he gave me a grateful smile as he put the pills in his pocket" thank you so much Carlisle I will see you later."

He gently put his hand to Bella's lower back as they walked out, I knew he was trying so hard to keep his composure and he was trying so hard to win Bella's broken heart.. I just wish the best for him they both deserve happiness. Now to head home and do some damage control, its going to be an eventful night.

JPOV

We drove down the main street I had a slight idea of a place I wanted to go, I pulled up in front of La Bella Italia stopping the bike I turned to look back at Bella when I was quickly slammed with a feeling I can only describe as 'I don't wanna' but as fast as it came on it was gone.

I turned off the bike trying to decipher what feelings I just felt, I took Bella's hand and she bulked at the curb and looked over to her. Her eyes told me right away that there was a back story to this particular place I internally growled Edward. "ya know darlin it looks a little busy here, lets go see what else this place has to offer us."

I felt relieved so I kissed Bella on top of the head, we were driving around in no time and then I saw the Blue Flame BBQ, I smirked at the ironic name cause is exactly what I want to do to Edward at this moment. "Is this ok Darlin," "this is just fine Jasper".

We got a nice booth toward the back we had a pretty nice view of the loading docks, we were close to the large hearth that had a strong blue flame burring in it, I kept my eyes on the dancing flame for a second as Bella looked over the menu.

I looked over to her and smiled instantly smiled she had a look of deep concentration her eye brows pulled tightly down in the middle. "darlin is the menu in a different language or something because you look like you are about to have a brain hemorrhage" I held in my laugh as best I could. She was just about to make some smart ass remark back to me when the waiter came up and smiled at Bella not even giving me a glance.

I folded my hands tightly under the table to be a gentleman as he pushed so much lust out. He smiled "hi my name is Bj I will be your server tonight, can I start you off with a few drinks" thank fucking god I am not a mind reader cause I am sure I would have killed him right on the spot, but Bella smiled at me as she ordered her drink " yes I would like a vampires blood, in drink not shot please" then an idea hit me.

I smiled politely at the server then looked Bella in the eye "darlin don't you think you should be ordering something with out alcohol in it, I mean you being with child and all" it was great to watch the red pour into her cheeks and see her dumbfounded look. I looked back to the server " we just got the news we are expecting our first child" I felt his disappointment it was a sweet feeling for me, but I was worried how Bella was going to react to my sudden out burst and I felt humor coming from her.

After the waiter left with our orders she looked at me with one raised eye brow and I just smiled sweetly back to her like a child that was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar, "so have you thought of any names yet ….daddy" I was thrilled she was ok with what I said this was defiantly a new wonderful Bella, I mean hell she was ok with even the thought of having a child with me, it made my insides flutter, and thankfully Edward did not break her this time, she really could be mine.

We had a great time over dinner as she helped me tease the server, at one point he had to run to the back to cry his eyes out, and then I made him feel like he was so mad I am sure he was about to quit right there on the spot, then for some reason at the end of the meal we had gotten a new server " darlin are you going to need a doggy bag to bring home …opps I mean a to go box" I held in the laughter as she gave me a warning glance then she looked at the new server " may I please have a to go box …thank you"

It was funny as hell, watching Bella try and figure out how to carry the food on the bike with a bad hand, but she finally got it and we headed back to her house because I had something I needed to take care of and she did not need to see it. As we pulled into the driveway I am sure if Bella was not on the bike the very pissed wolf would have tackled me right then and there.

I stopped by the porch and turned the bike off, and he pulled Bella off the bike and I was not sure if she yelped from the shock or pain cause I felt both from her, I gave him a deep warning hiss. I saw him look at her arm then he shoved her behind him and stepped to me, "what have you done to her you fucking bloodsucker" " well Jacob, first off you need to clam down and do not ever let me see you handle my angel that way again, now…I did nothing to her, Miss Bella here thought she could flat hand slap a vampire, and that vampire being Edward who had come home early and was a heartless asshole."

Bella came back around from behind Jacob and turned to him and smiled big and cheesy "Jake …. I brought you a doggy bag ..mmmm num nums" he looked peeved but turned back to me, " so fuck face is back …" I cut him off " I am going to take care of my brother Jake you take care of Bella for me please" I handed him her pain pills and got back on the bike, Bella shoved the bag of left overs to Jacob and moved to my side and looked up at me. "Jasper, please don't do anything stupid, I am ok its over now … ok."

I leaned down and kissed her lips softly and kept my forehead pressed to hers as I whispered "darlin I promise I will do nothing stupid ….I will come back later to see you." I gave her one more soft kill goodbye as I started the bike, she moved back and smiled then turned to go to the house, I gave Jacob a nod to let him know Edward will pay in someway for what he had done, and then I took off to the house ready.

I flew into the driveway and Alice was sitting on the porch with someone I had never seen, I assumed this was the person she had been waiting for, I'll be damned it was a chick, huh who knew. I got my focus back and jumped off the bike only to have Alice's arms wrapped around my waist, "where the fuck is that asshole brother of mine" I made sure to think the asshole brother part just a little louder in my head, ok I done screamed it in my head I hope I give him a fucking headache, cause he was about to get a lot more then that.

"Jasper he is up in his room with Adreanna…." as soon as she said it I was trying to sidestep out of her hold and she actually snapped at me I stopped dead in my tracks and looked down at her, I could not believe she just did that, "Alice…." she cut me off "Jasper do not go in there after him, Esme will kill you when you and him wreck the house" her tone was strong, I knew deep down she was right.

I swear it felt like I was on an adrenalin rush the venom pooled in my mouth and pumped hard and fast threw my veins I could feel my eyes rapidly darken up, I needed a piece of Edward Cullen right now. '_come down here you fucking coward ' _I was screaming at him at the top of my mental lungs.

EPOV

I heard him before he even got to the house, I leaned my head back on the couch sighing loudly trying to block out his screaming just for a moment, I heard Alice confront him I looked over to Adreanna " love, we are about to experience some family conflict I need you to stay in here and finish unpacking I am sorry this is not going to be the welcome home I had hoped for you" it was then I heard him call me out, and I felt myself feeling very violent he must be projecting.

Carefully I kissed Adreanna on the cheek and I made it down the stairs by the time I opened the door, he was at the foot of the stairs, and off the right stood Esme and Carlisle, on the top step was Rosalie and one step down from her was Emmett.

Jasper must have been projecting intense anger because everyone looked very unhappy, but the thoughts whirling around were all different but I made my focus on Jaspers thoughts alone, if he was going to attack me I needed to know but thus far he was just cussing up a storm. I moved down the stairs and stood about 3 feet in front of him I saw Alice and AnnaLeah back up but their intense gaze never faltered.

His eyes were a glossy black even with out my ability or his I knew he was about to snap I had to proceed with caution but he spoke out first, " don't you think you have done enough to her, I have been picking up the shattered pieces of her soul that you left behind willingly."

That hit me hard but I could not let him know that the venom started to flow into my mouth as I steadied myself for a pending fight but then this thoughts turned to Bella, and how broken she really was, he thought of her as his angel and I saw in his mind the vast suicide attempts, I can not believe that was my Bella.

" And so dear brother, soon she will not be the breakable glass bubble you had once thought her to be, and I will be the man she needed from the start and I will make her mine for the rest of eternity."

I snapped, he was not worthy of her amazing soul "you are not strong enough to handle her stupidity , you will never be enough for her" all of a sudden he started to sing a verse of a song over and over '_think twice before you touch my girl come around I'll let you feel the burn' _I was just trying to decipher what the hell that was about when I was taken off my feet and flat on my back with a punching snapping growling Jasper on top of me.

His hits were coming fast and hard and I could not pick up any steady thought pattern from him he was just running on pure instinct. I have never had to fight a fair fight in my whole vampire life, he was getting the upper hand all I could do at this point was try to block his rapid hits.

I was hit with Esme crying out for us to please stop then out of nowhere in the chaos in his head he sang out '_tonights for fighting'_and then I felt it the shearing pain of his venomous teeth in the side of my face along my jaw line, I howled out in pain as I felt his weight lift off me, then I was lifted to my feet as I was cupping my face as Carlisle held me by the shoulders. I looked up to meet Jaspers eyes Emmett had Jasper around the waist in a bear like hug from behind and he was still snapping his teeth toward me, I growled and crouched down for another battle but Carlisle spoke up.

"Do not blame your brother for this, you let her go Edward it was your choice and now have Adreanna... let them be in peace" I looked to the door and saw Adreanna had come down and saw the whole thing, if she could I am sure tears would be streaming down her cheeks right now.

I moved quickly to her side and as we turned to go in I heard Jasper once more '_you got to be fucking kidding me, she looks just like Bella' _I looked over my shoulder at him then looked at Adreanna, damnit." It was then I was accosted by the vulgar thoughts of Jacob Black, I turned and saw him coming out of the tree line and he was much bigger then I had remembered, he must have transformed finally.

JAKEPOV

I walked up toward their house, the smell was overpowering and once I cleared the trees the saw why it was so god damn stinky, they were all standing outside, plus two extras I would have to talk to them about that later right now this was about Bella. You could cut the tension with a dull knife fuck it I don't care, this is done now. I ran though every string of cuss words in my head I could think of as I walked up, I got to the stairs and saw his face and I smirked " gee looks like I missed all the beat the fuck out of asshole vampire time, do I get a turn now."

Carlisle was about to say something but I held up my hand to stop him, "Eddy boy I just wanted to thank you for leaving it really worked out to my advantage"

***LEMON ALERT***

Mentally I pictured every hot juicy sweaty detail of Bells and me.

_My eyes traveled from her slender neck down to her full voluptuous tits tiny little black hoops hung from her hard ass nipples, her body has filled out so nice, she is not over curvy but …its just fuckin nice. As I lick down her body I look up at her face, her eyes are lusting for me. _

Then I started to throw scenes from every fuck I shared with Bella at that asshole bloodsucker, I stood there with a smile on my face as I saw it start to effect him.

_My nose gently brushed up in inner thigh I got to her hot moist core I sniffed heavily her smell sent my animal side into overdrive, my tongue lapped at her tight clit she arched and thrashed into my face, her juices dripping down my chin already. _

_I grabbed her hip and flipped her over on all fours and I did not even wait till she was ready before I shoved my dick deep inside her, her black hair fanned out across her back. I kept my hands on her hips as I leaned back to watch myself sliding in and out of her tight ass pussy._

_* _**End of Lemon Teaser* (A/N haha the best is yet to come)**

I mentally flipped through a calendar to make sure he knew it was not a one time thing. I thought for sure he was going to say or even do something to me but he turned to Jasper.

EPOV

When I first heard Jacob coming, I was ready to beat him for his foul mouth, then he came into view and walked over to us like he was a wanted guest. I was not even really paying attention to what was coming out of his mouth at first because of his mental screaming, then he actually thanked me for leaving, what the hell is he talking about. Like a million bricks hitting me at once from all different direction I saw Bella in his mind, her naked form was more exhilarating then I had ever imagined, it took every once of self restraint I had for it not to show physically.

Then as the foul montage went on, I started to become more and more turned off, my Bella was tainted, and from the looks of it, she was tainted on more the one occasion. I gathered my thoughts and turned to Jasper and gave him a knowing grin " well Jasper looks like your angel is not so pure after all, it seems from what Jacob here was kind enough to share with me, she has been exploring her animalistic sexual side for sometime now, and what was that …just over a week ago was the last time."

I felt bad for hurting my bother so as soon as the words left my mouth, I could not bare to hear his thoughts any longer I took Adreanna's hand and we ran off for a hunting trip.

Third Party POV

Everyone but Jake had a look of shock on their faces, it was unsure if the shock was from what was just reviled about Bella, or if was from the out right blatant hurt Edward just threw at Jasper. No one was sure what to even say at this point, but it was Jake that spoke up first " ah…total chaos my job here is done have fun sorting this out, oh and Carlisle I will talk with you later about the new additions." Before anyone could gather a thought Jake sprinted to the woods and was gone in a flash.

JPOV

My mind was reeling, and it was plain to see so was everyone else's, Carlisle and Esme went at a slow pace into the house but not before giving me a look of sympathy and feelings of reassurance. I was not even aware of Rosalie leaving but Emmett came over and stood next to me, we both looked toward the driveway as we heard Bella's truck pulling off the main road.

I could feel that he was trying to find the right words, " look Jazz man, we have all made mistakes you can not hold it against her, fuck dude if she was still a virgin after all this time I would think something was wrong with her, cause dude she's fucking hot, and its not like you are a cherry yourself….I am sure if the choice was there at the time she would have gave herself to you."

He gave me a hard slap on the back and took off, I looked over to see it was just Alice and AnnaLeah remaining and Alice had a beaming smile on her face, god damnit she knew something again, what the hell am I saying she always knows something.

I turned and headed for the back of the house toward the river, I just didn't know and was not prepared for this, these overwhelming feelings of pain and jealousy. Where her feelings real for me, I have never questioned myself as much as I am now.

AlicePOV

Just before Emmett started to talk to Jasper I had a glint of a vision, it was of Jasper and Bella, even after all this they were going to be happy together, they are going to heal each other, then I had the same vision I had of Bella years ago she was going to be one of us the only thing different about this is I saw who changed her, I saw Jasper over her I saw the deep unbreakable love in both their eyes, and then he bit her, he sat with her for the full change even though it was killing him inside he was taking in all her pain just to ease it that much more for her.

I knew things are going to be ok, we were all going to be a family. Bella pulled up and got out then as a second thought got back in and actually turned off her truck this time, I wonder how many times she has done that. She walked right over to AnnaLeah and me and I smiled " Bella, this is AnnaLeah, my new…umm friend" AnnaLeah smiled and held out a hand to her and talked with a slight smooth Romanian accent "pleased to meet you Bella."

Bella took her hand and shook it "nice to meet you AnnaLeah, Alice what's going on"

Lets see how was I going to word this, I guess blunt and to the point works " well to give you the short version Jasper came home, Edward said a nasty remark , they fought it was broke up but not before Jasper bit Edward, then to make matters worse Jake showed up and gave Edward …." I sighed and went on " I guess a picture show of you and his bedroom exploits."

Bella looked like she was about to crumble right where she stood, I saw her wobble slightly I moved to her side and took her arm to steady her and she kept her eyes on the ground "Alice where is Jasper now" I felt so horrid for her " he went toward the river, he is walking so you will be able to catch up to him." She just nodded slightly and took off in a slow jog so she would not trip over air.

BPOV

As soon as I pulled up I saw only Alice and some other woman I knew something was wrong I could feel it, I jumped out of the car only in second thought I got back in and turned it off. I went to Alice knowing she would tell me everything, as I listened to her recap I wanted to run home and either kill Jake or kill myself. At the end I felt a little faint but Alice's cold touch brought me out of it. I had to find Jasper, I had to explain I had to do something.

I got around the house and he was just at the rivers edge, I sped up just a little to get to him I got just about ten feet from him and he turned to me, his eyes full of pain, our eyes locked together in a deep gaze.

A/N… hehehe we are cliffy evil

~ sorry about the wait for this one but we hope it was worth it.


	14. AN Don't kill us

Ok guys.. Before you get out the tar and feathers *looks around*….

I know we said we would keep the A/N's to a minimum , but I felt it was time for one to let you .. Our valued readers know our status, we know it has been almost a month scene we have updated and believe me we are so sorry.

I would however like to proudly announce the good news that my partner in crime/co author Melinda is expecting! There just has been personal thing after personal thing, I will let you know we have not forgotten you guys or the story.

The next chapter has a great start and we have outlined the next 2 chapters after that , sooooo updating should come a little more smoothly. We would like to thank everyone so much for reading and sticking with us and we are going to work on getting the updates out faster for you guys!!

Thanks, Jill n Melinda


	15. Bed Knobs and Ink Hearts

**Can You Look At Me Now?**

~Disclaimer~ Hey guess what??!!… We still don't own TWILIGHT or anything that has came from TWILIGHT…but we do own AnnaLeah and Adreanna we paid in full for them.

~SHOUT OUT~ We would like to thank Ruby7279, she has a great story and gave us a shout out so thanks! And once more thanks to our loyal readers, and reviewers !

~This is a filler chapter, it is short but we needed it to get where we are going, the next ones will be longer… ~

JPOV

Her emotions hit me before she even rounded the house, but it was not till she was just about to me before I turned around. I swear to fucking god it feels like I have split personality, half of me was telling me ' what's the big fucking deal, so she slept with someone how many people have you been with in your long ass life' and the other part of me could not believe Bella had given herself to a dog, why couldn't she have waited for me. I knew that part of my brain was being illogical and just down right being a big baby.

Her deep eyes told me everything she was about to say but I knew I had to let her get it all out, "Jasper.. I am so sorry I didn't want you to find out this way I just didn't know when the right time would have been to tell you, so I guess now is the time please let me explain everything." I closed the gap between us, even though my emotions were outta whack I could not resist touching her, I took her hand and led her to the rivers edge where we sat on the bank.

"Ok darlin," I didn't not want to mess with her emotions I knew she would not want it that way, so I sat back and waited for her to go on. She looked out over the river and kicked a twig into the moving water, " I guess I should start from the beginning, please all I ask is let me get threw this before you get up and walk away….I already told you about when Edward left, after that things got bad, it messed me up more then anyone could have guessed, hell even me."

She took in a long breath and her pain was getting almost overwhelming but I still let her feel what she needed to, and I think I needed to feel it as well. " after I was left in the woods I was brought to Jakes house and I found some pills of his dads and tried to overdose, that time as you can see it did not work, after that for a few months I was one of the walking dead, no pun intended. I was like that all the rest of the way though high school. I don't even really remember my graduation, right after that is when I moved in with Jake, it was his idea but I really needed to get out of Charlie's house because I needed something to ease the pain and the things I had in mind Charlie would not be thrilled about."

It killed me inside to even hear this part of it, her life is far more precious then she thinks, the mere thought of losing her now or never having the chance to love her the way I do, made my eyes fog over with tears that would never fall, she went on. " so then I got the idea of pain aversion, I had gotten my tongue, and belly button pierced first, that was not enough, then I went in for my first tattoo…" she held up her wrist and showed me the tattoo there " I got the idea for this from one of Jakes friends Embry, he was joking around once about how strong I was and said, ' she is stronger then that, she runs with vampires' so I thought it only fitting."

"Even after that it was not enough I still felt broken and something in me was missing, something that made up who I was at the time, so there came the fallen angel that tattoo took about three hours and I did not budge one bit, I took in every ounce of pain from it. One night Jake was out doing his wolfy rounds and I was laying on the couch flipping through channels and I came across Romeo and Juliet it was toward the end where Juliet watched Romeo take his last breath and then in turn killed herself.

I got up knowing Jake would not be home for a few hours yet and I took my motorcycle to La Push cliffs, as I got to the highest cliff edge I remembered something from the day of my 18th birthday Edward was sprawled out across the couch me sitting in front of him, he was whispering Romeos lines into my ear as the movie went on, I kept this thought in my mind as I jumped off the cliff.

"I was not sure where he came from but all of a sudden I was brought out of my dream like state by Jake dragging me out of the icy water, he pulled me onto the shore and I just remember the burn in my throat from the salt water. As time went by I realized this was not working for me, so I found something that would numb the pain better then anything at the time, I turned to drinking, there were some nights I would pass out on the living room floor not even being able to make it to my room…."

If I could cry I am man enough to admit the tears would be falling, that's right I said it, she went on. "it was on one of those nights where I somehow made it into Jakes bed, it was then I make the first moves on him and I lost my virginity to him," regret was seeping from her but she went on.

"Jake became a release, I know now I was never in love with Jake I was in need with him, I could be pissed and angry at him and take it all out on him and he just thought of it as passion, thank god he is not an empath." She smirked a little, but it faded quickly, she was ashamed I am assuming because she just admitted to using Jake for angry sex, I on the other hand was relived, I don't know if I would have been able to stand knowing she had any feelings more then friends for the flea bag.

I knew something big was coming up because she paused and I had to brace myself with the slap her emotions. I closed my eyes and turned away from her for a second, Bella always intrigued me with her emotional abilities but this time it was fuckin intense, she started again and man was I not prepared for what she came out with next.

Her voice was soft and she was looking down into the water, her hands gripping the rock she was sitting on so tightly her knuckles were turning white, I almost sent calm to her so both of us could relax but I let it go. "About six months ago… I was " she cleared her throat in a hinting manor then went on " late… " can vampires be sick cause I think I am about to lose it, I really think I am going to be sick, all I could think about is the years and years of sex ed class, god I really was going to be sick.

" Well, I was to freaked out to take any tests and Jake was started to question me, so I drank more, I partied harder thought I could forget about it all, it was at Angela Webber's bachelorette party, and me and Lauren were just slamming the drinks like the bar was about to close, Angela offered us a place to stay after everyone left and I tired for awhile to sleep on the couch in the basement, I think I got a little sleep, but I remember I just wanted to go home…..pretty sure I was ok I got in my truck and I headed home, it was pouring rain, more then normal I think, I was just about home when standing in the middle of the road with the most wicked smile was Victoria, next thing remember was falling out of my smoking tangled mess of a truck"

I saw a glistening tear roll down her face, she made no move to wipe it she was hurting so bad, and I was hurting for her not just because I felt it how she felt it, because I wanted my angel to be ok again. "in the distance I heard the wolf call, I knew they were on their way, but I was hoping Victoria was going to get me first, I was in so much pain and I could smell I was bleeding, why wasn't she coming, why wasn't she just ending it right then but she never came."

"Before I knew it Sam and Leah where standing over me the look on their faces told me more then I really wanted to know at this point, I heard Leah whisper to Sam with a gasp _' Sam, look… she was with pup, she is bleeding out there is so much blood, she lost it Sam she needs a doctor now'_ I heard the door to the truck open and things moving around, but I was not sure what was going on, till I heard my cell phone dial and Leah was calling for an ambulance, Sam was sitting by my head holding it and me still, after that I was not sure what was a dream or real anymore, things only became real when I heard the beeping and sounds of the machines I was hooked up to"

"Jake was sitting on the bed by my feet, with a lost blank look on his face he looked like he was twenty years older, he told me everything, that I was drunk driving I hit a tree and I lost our baby, he kept asking why I never told him, but I was never really sure myself, my dad was pretty pissed at me for sometime, I know he is till is. I never told anyone else about seeing Victoria, everyone just figured it was a drunk driving thing, now I am not even sure if it was really her."

" After the accident it really starting to sink in I was never going to see the Cullen family again, in my head I thought all the blood I have spilled and especially all the blood that was spilled in the accident you guys …" she started to crack but pulled it in, her voice only breaking a little, " you guys were never coming back for me, but the dreams where getting more and more frequent and vivid, I would wake up all hours of the night screaming for anyone in your family, it was just like two months ago it was only you I called to Jasper"

" I was on plenty of meds to try and keep my head where it belonged…" before you guys got here, I was even getting to the point of imagining you in my room it seemed so real like you were right there, I know it was the pills just warping my mind, and so that brings us to present time…" she gave a humorless laugh " ya know after Jake found out you were back he asked me to marry him, he had always hinted around about it, but he flat out proposed."

I am really going to have to keep an eye on that dog, I knew he was into Bella, but thinking that he could marry her and take her away from my family, man was he livin in some dream world. She looked away again looking down stream, " Jasper I will not stop you when you get up to walk away, but thank you for listening to me."

I can not believe it she still fuckin thinks I am going to leave I turned to her and cupped her cheek in my hand and wiped away a stray tear with my thumb " angel, you are going to have to come up with something better then that for me to leave you, I told you and this is going to be the last time I tell you… next time I am going to growl it at you, but … I... am …not …going…anywhere, all I want from you now is a promise, no more pups please," she gave a beaming smile " well Jasper what would you call a vampire baby." Holy shit she caught me off guard, I froze even my vampire brain was not wrapping around what she just said, then she pushed me a little and I snapped back to reality before I feel off the rock we were sitting on. She looked like she was in deep thought, we could not have that, so I scooped her up and stood on the rock as she wiggled and squealed, " JASPER WHITLOCK PUT ME DOWN THIS SECOND!" "come on darlin, lets go for a swim" she had a death grip around my neck it was almost like she was trying to crawl over my back I laughed and jumped off the rock back into the grass setting her down.

"I got a better idea then swimming… " she had a look in her eye that excited me and scared the hell outta me all at once, she took my hand and tugged me toward the front of the house.

"darlin, may I ask what we are doing, you are as excited as a child on Christmas morning." We got to my bike that someone had kindly picked up for me and she stood there bouncing in place, "I want you to experience a feeling with me…. please" how could I deny her anything I was lost in her dark milk chocolate pools all I could do was smile and kiss her cheek.

I got on the bike and helped her on, it was hard for her with her hand still being in a splint but she was so strong it did not even seem to bother her, she wrapped herself tightly against me, " Bella, darlin I can drive this thing across the county and back for you, but I think you have some place in mind, would you mind at least sharing with the driver were we are going" she slapped my back with her good hand and giggled. "Head to Port Angels baby."

We were there in no time, if I was smart I would slow the hell down so I could spend more time with my angels arms wrapped around me, I took it slow through town her excitement was getting more and more as we went on then she sat up " stop! Right there, go park over there" she was pointing to the left side of the street about a half block up, what was she up to.

I stopped the bike and she jumped off with out any help from me, I got off and she took my hand in her good one and we headed across the street and the other way, she was beaming the whole time, she was trying to confuse me and I admit its working. "Bella, what in the world are we doing," we stopped in front of a store front and I looked at the sign and it said ' Fat Daddy's Tattoo' " darlin, I don't think this is going to work, I can't get a tattoo."

"This is not for you…" as she opened the door and dragged me in " this is something I want you to feel with me." I was sitting next to her, her hand in mine I traced tiny patterns on the top of her hand with my thumb, I made a promise to her I would not look at the tattoo till it was done, but the feelings and emotions I was getting from her were so thrilling and erotic, I sat there with my eyes closed and just let the waves of pleasure wash over and calm me.

Before I knew it she was sitting up in front of me, the sleeve of her tank top pulled down her arm and there on her chest above her heart was a beautiful tattoo of a sparkly broken heart that was mended with stitches and a band aid, I knew right away the full meaning of this, I caressed her cheek and leaned in and gave her the most loving kiss I could.

We stood at the counter arguing for almost a half hour, the anger from the tattoo guy was not helping my situation any, all I wanted to do was pay for her damn tattoo, but she won, I am sure this is not going to be the last time she wins this battle. We walked out even after the bickering we were smiling, but I was a little disappointed, Bella looked at me " what's on your mind Jasper?"

Out of all the years as a vampire there were only a few times I really missed being human, this was one, " well darlin, its just I got to feel everything from that tattoo, and I know I will not ever experience that myself " she cocked her head a little and had that look on her face again, she was cooking up a plan then with out warning she pecked me on the cheek and told me to stay put and she bolted down the road, I watched her slip into a dollar store I sat on the bike and waited.

She was only gone a few minutes before I saw her heading back toward me, she had her hands behind her back and a child like grin on her face, so I did the only thing I thought was safe and stayed on the bike leaned back watching her carefully. She climbed up the bike and sat on my lap facing me, good thing I can brace myself and the bike, she grabbed my chin and tilted my head to the side and before I could ask she started to kiss my neck with butterfly like kisses.

I grabbed her by the waist, my eyes rolled back when I felt her warm soft tongue against my neck, my body involuntarily twitched, I was suddenly snapped outta of my blissful trance with a hard slap to the side of my neck where my angels tongue once was, my head popped up and I looked at her, "what the hell was that.." she was laughing then she peeled a piece of paper off my neck and squealed, "I just gave you your first tattoo baby" she leaned outta the way and I adjusted the mirror on the bike and looked at my neck, and sure shit, there was a little tattoo of vampire fang marks, how appropriate .

I smirked at the tattoo, and grabbed her spinning her to the back of the bike, my dick was doing all my thinking now, she was all giggles as I took off and came to the nearest furniture store, I jumped off the bike and grabbed her up and set her on the sidewalk, " its my turn darlin," we rushed in and lust was just bouncing between the both of us.

We looked at all types of beds, she even joked around and found a bunk bed set, the kind that had a slide on it, she went down the slide and told me how much fun we could have with it, but I had something else in mind. We got to the section I was looking for and we both drifted to the same bed at the same time, it was a black iron antique four post canopy bed, all we did was look at each other and smiled I knew it was ours.

After we ordered the bed in a queen size and had it rush delivered to the house, they said it should be there with in the hour….it was worth the extra money. We headed home, I took my time, for one wanting the bed to get there before we did, and two I did not want to disturb Bella's new tattoo. Just as I was hoping the delivery truck was just pulling out of the drive way, Alice was standing on the steps with two big bags at her feet.

We parked the bike ,and holding hands we walked to Alice, " I saw your impulse shopping trip but you forgot one thing Jasper, you know all those years shopping with me I would think you be more aware of details… anyways I picked these up for you" she handed me the bags and I peeked inside, she had gotten us pillows and a bed set that kind that had everything in it, the pattern was green and black I smiled," thank you Alice" I did not want to spend any more time small talking with Alice, I held the bags and took Bella's good hand and pulled her up the stairs, trying not to let her human pace fluster me any more there I already was.

I lead her to the loveseat and sat her down … the bed looked really good in here, I put on the sheets and everything as fast as I could, it took mere seconds, I stood back and was pleased with my work, the lust was still building up between us.

Bella sauntered over to the bed and sat down on the edge, kicking her shoes off. She smiled at me her eyes locked to mine, with one finger she motioned for me to come here, I crouched down and sprang at her, grabbing her up pulling her to the middle of the bed.

~A/N~ don't hate us now, it will be worth it TRUST US ! The next chapter should be up soon. *runs and hides from the tar and feathers*


	16. How to Break in a Bed

**Can You Look At Me Now? **

**~Disclaimer~ This is us * we wave* we don't own Twilight *we cry***

***WARNING!!* THIS WHOLE CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE A LEMONY LIMEY CHAPTER, PLENTY OF CITRUSY GOODNESS… YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED… if you do not like lemons, you can just skip this chapter and wait for the next one…sorry… Enjoy!**

**Previously on…. Can You Look At Me Now?**

_**JPOV**_

_Bella sauntered over to the bed and sat down on the edge, kicking her shoes off. She smiled at me her eyes locked to mine, with one finger she motioned for me to come here, I crouched down and sprang at her, grabbing her up pulling her to the middle of the bed. _

**JPOV(still)**

Our lips crashed to each other and our tongues danced and fought for dominance. Our lips only parted for a split second as I flung her shirt off over her head and mine came off as well, she moaned my name as my lips traveled her body…..my head shot toward the stairs a deep warning growl came from my chest, Bella looked over to see what got me so pissed and took my attention from her. In my head I was just screaming, then I felt a kitten like growl from under me, that's fuckin hot, I was ripped from my thoughts as Bella was shifting under me and Edward still has not said anything he is just standing there, what the fuck.

Bella pulled herself from under me just a little and I saw one of the pillows go flying and he must really be out of it cause the pillow smacked him right in the face, as pissed and cocked blocked as I felt right now I had laugh, then Bella started to yell, "Edward I swear to what ever god you may have, if you do not get out right now I will burn you myself, you did not want to see my body when you were with me, you have no fucking right to see it now, GET OUT!….oh and Edward you may want to go far away for awhile cause I am about to give Jasper the best sexual experience of his life."

I had to peel my eyes off this wonderful, sexy creature that lay partly under me to look over at my dumbstruck brother, he was blinking a few times and I was hit with jealousy and possessiveness he was about to say something but I beat him to the punch " Edward if you had any brain at all you would be getting out of here real fuckin fast" shockingly he took my warning and ran out, I heard him calling for Adreanna and they both left together, there were from very soft giggles from downstairs.

**EPOV**

I was pacing around my room, I feel like my whole world is upside down and it is all her fault. I did the right thing, I think….damnit now I am second guessing myself. I did not want this life for her she needs more she needs to live and thrive, I know what is best for her why doesn't anyone else see that. If she was destined for this life it should be with me not him. I stopped dead in my tracks my own thoughts stunning me, did I really just think that.

I pulled my hands threw my hair and sighed in frustration, I think I need to ask Carlisle if vampires can have fucking anxiety attacks, at some point I had resumed my pacing till I heard Jaspers bike pull up, oh aren't they going to be so happy their bed is here waiting for them. Jasper's thoughts where borderline sickening. Adreanna was downstairs talking with her cousin and Alice, good thing too she does not need to see me like this, I was coming apart at the seams.

They were in the bedroom now and Jasper was making the bed with the bedding Alice got them, I can not believe she is contributing to this, "Argh!" I can not take this anymore, I was out my door and up his stairs before I could even talk myself out of this, Jasper was not keeping a good lock on his emotions because at about the third step I got a massive hard on, oh for fuck sake.

I did a quick tuck into the waste band of my boxer briefs, Jasper might notice but Bella will not. I got all the way to the top of the stairs before he noticed and growled at me, I was froze in place, there my Bella was under my brother…my fucking brother… neither of them with shirts on, Bella had the cutest black and purple lacey bra on, I was stunned in my place, even Jaspers mental assault did not pull my eyes away from my Bella. A pillow, she threw a pillow at me, and I just stood there like the town pervert and let it hit me, her words barely made it to my brain then it sunk in she was threatening me to get out because they were about to have sex.

I got out of there as fast as I could I got downstairs and even though it was very rude of me I grabbed Adreanna and we headed for this vacant cottage deep on the Cullen property, I would go here to think some times being out of range of everyone's thoughts.

I got her into the house and I kicked the door shut I was so frustrated, sexually and mentally, I whipped her on the couch I had put in there and I was over her looking into the eyes of… Bella. I kissed her hard like my life depended on it, I wanted to kiss Bella away from my head. I was not going to care about formalities at this point I just started to rip away at her clothes.

She was returning what I was giving the room was full of lustful growls and moans, the sound of shredding fabric ended very soon, I finally opened my eyes again to look at the beautiful woman that lay under me, I had to give her the respect of meeting her eyes while we made love.

Once inside her tight waiting love, my head will still wrapped around my Bella ..upstairs with Jasper… not down here with me feeling my cold hard dick deep inside her. My mind went all over the place before my body responded. I froze mid thrust Adreanna propped herself up on her elbows, "what the hell Edward.." I didn't know what to say this has never happened before, what a blow to the ego. I got off of her and stood there hoping my expression would tell her how sorry I am.

She sat up and dry sobbed, "this is about her isn't it." I could not even find it in myself to console her, I stood there like a deer caught in headlights, so out of it I barely noticed her get up and run out of the cottage butt ass bare naked. I sat where she was just laying waiting and wanting me, but I could not do it .. I could not believe it. I threw my head back and closed my eyes and all I seen was Bella.

I thought I would do a little test, I pictured myself over her soft warm body, kissing her everywhere, feeling her breath hitch under me, her heart racing….my hand went to my cock I started with slow steady pulls…Thank god I have a really good imagination, I started to think of how of warm she would feel wrapped around my cold dick. My hand was moving fast, my left hand clutching at the couch as I pulled myself over the edge I called out her name.

**BPOV**

I thought for sure once Edward came up there it was over, what a cock block, but I kept my lust pushing at Jasper so he would know I still wanted him more then anything, and I wanted this, I had to make him mine. He was hesitating a little so I grabbed him with the best growl I could muster and I kissed him like I thought a vampire should be kissed, a kiss another certain vampire never gave me.

I felt him give into me. I wondered how much he was going to give me, well the only way to find out is to try, I got some nerve and placed my hands on his shoulders, he must have known right away because soon he was on his back I was over him. I could feel his impressive member under me, I gave my hips a little roll and he closed his eyes a small sigh came out of his wonderful lips. I gave a cocky smile as I knew what I was doing was working on him.

I could not resist his lips any more, not caring how sore my lips were already getting I crashed to his, his cool breath flooded my mouth and I had to remember to breath now was not the time to pass out. It was now or never, as our lips tangled together, my hands slid down his well crafted body.

Finally my hands found what they were searching for, I arched my body back just a little to get better access at the button on his pants, I pulled my lips from his leaving with a parting moan. After I got his pants undone I kissed a slowly down his chest cavity, down his flat perfect abs. The further I went down I took his pants down with me, I got to his cute innie and noticed his perfect happy trail, I smiled as I kissed around his hip bones.

HOLY SHIT! He is going commando, not that I cared but damn. I looked up at him and he had his hands folded behind his head and a huge smile on his face "what?" with out saying anything I just smiled back and went back to the task at hand. I took his hard dick in my hands I felt him shutter under my touch.

My lips barely brushed against the tip, his hand twisted and pulled at the roots of my hair. I ran my mouth just above his length, waiting to be able to tease for a moment I let the hot breath escape over his cold skin.

Before I knew it I was flipped over and with one hand still firmly gripping my hair, his other hand had in one smooth movement removed my pants and underwear effectively peeling the clothes off me like a banana.

**JPOV**

As soon as the felt the heat from her mouth I knew I needed to feel her heat in so many other ways, I was walking a really fine line of control here. I could not tell who was lusting more here me or her. It was hard to move as slow as I needed to but still needing to keep up the act Bella was not breakable, yet still not breaking her.

There was no more waiting, I pushed myself into her, holy-fuckin-goddamn-jesuschrist-shit, my mind was screaming as I entered her extremely hot wetness. I felt her clinch around me already as she screamed out my name, that's all it took for climax number one, lets see what else we can do here.

I tired to keep my pace in check but she begged for me to go faster, so I decided to get creative with our new bed. I grabbed around the waist pulled her from under me and repositioned myself nearly straddling the post at the foot of the bed and placing her on my lap her back against the corner post, she reached up over her head and grabbed the post with both hands.

My hands held her waist guiding her down and holding her steady, she threw her head back her eyes clinching slut as I rocked her over the edge yet again. She was gasping for air from that last organism, she got a little more power left and she pushed me back toward the head of the bed.

I reached over and held each post in my hands as she rode me, I could feel her insides tighten around me I could not hold on anymore as she screamed out my name as she went over her last edge, I squeezed my eyes closed as I yelled out her name, my cold seed pouring into her stream after stream. It was then I noticed there was a strange sound in the room.

I opened my eyes and looked at my beautiful Bella, she had a smile on her flushed sweaty face, she was looking at where my hands where. I looked up at the posts of the bed and seen what was so funny, I had crushed and broke off both posts to our new bed, damn.

She said with a soft giggle "Jasper, I think we have officially broke in the bed" she laid down on my chest and I played with her hair. "Bella …that was hot" I could feel her complete and utter contentment, " I think I need a cold shower now Jasper" I laughed a little, and from down stairs Emmett yelled up, "I could use a cold shower too!"

**EPOV**

"Fuck."


	17. A Sister from Another Mother?

Can You Look At Me Now?

**~Disclaimer~ All the people in Twilight are HOT…. To bad we ****DON"T ****own them or else we would play and manhandle them all we want!! We don't own the music either, we just rock out to it!**

**A/N~ Sorry for the long intervals between chapters, Thank you to all the adders and reviewers!! If you haven't noticed we have taken the pics for this story out of the P/F… there is now a link there for the myspace for Can You Look At Me Now… the myspace is filled with pics and the music from the storyline go check it out and add as a friend**

**( even if you don't have a myspace you should be able to look at everything, if you have a problem let us know) , we will be updating the myspace as the story goes on! As always…. ENJOY!**

**BPOV**

When I heard Emmett yell he needed a cold shower too it hit me that everyone in the house heard everything. I hid my face in the crook of Jaspers shoulder managing to get the messed up, wadded up sheet up over my head.

I took a deep breath to say something back but Jasper whispered in my hair, "shhhh darlin' that will only encourage him and he will never stop."

I gave him a nip on the shoulder and pulled myself away from him, instantly missing the feel of his cool body against my hot one. He had one arm tucked behind his head and the other resting on his tight abs, I could only smile as I took him in.

It was then real world hit me and I was standing in front of the hottest man on earth with mangled hair butt ass naked…. I turned fast and frantically looked for my clothes only finding my panties and his shirt I didn't care I slipped them on.

I looked over my shoulder and he was now sitting up …glaring at me. I went to say something, before a sound came out he was off the bed standing in front of me cradling my face in his hands.

"Bella, I don't ever want to feel embarrassment like that coming from you again, after we had done something so wonderful, you are beautiful, exciting, and all these words I am havin trouble finding right now"

His accent was really thick right now and I was getting turned on all over again, I smiled as he kissed the tip of my nose letting my face go. I headed for the stairs only taking two steps I stopped looking back at him from over my shoulder.

"aren't ya comin cowboy" I giggled as I tired to lay on the Texas drawl, I was glad when he laughed because it sounded really bad coming from me. With one large step he was at my side pulling me close to him as we went down to the bathroom.

I still couldn't help but think about the whole family listening, Jasper opened the bathroom door all but throwing me in. I smiled then looking at him as he closed and locked the door, "holy shit Jasper!…"

He about came out of his skin when he turned to see what I was so shocked and yelling about, " Jasper you just walked down here butt naked!" he looked down at himself then to me.

"well yeah darlin we are getting in the shower, what would be the point of getting dressed to just get undressed right away…" Jasper seemed to stop in mid thought, he looked at the door and started to laugh.

I folded my arms, about to ask what the hell he was doing when I heard it, Emmett's booming laugh from somewhere in the house it sounded like it was getting further and further away and fast, then a song, it took my human ears a few good seconds to pick up on.

Really I don't think my face could get any redder as the very dirty lyrics of Methods of Mayhem's Get Naked rang through the whole house.

_Get, get naked! _

_Come on baby make it hot_

_Get, get naked!_

_Ride the cock till ya hit the spot_

_Get, get naked!_

_Come on baby make it hot_

"Don't worry angel I will get him later for that, he just ran away, he has to come home sometime" his lips rushed to mine I felt like I was melting as he took his shirt off me, his movements were so smooth I didn't even know what was going on till I was under the hot water.

He was kissing and feeling every inch of me he could get to easily, between the relaxing water and his wonder lips I just closed my eyes and let myself go.

After a few minutes I grabbed the soap lathering my hands, just as I put the soap down going to wash myself Jasper took my hands down to his hard cock, I wasted no time slowly stroking him from head to base with my slick hands.

**Mean While…..**

**AlicePOV**

I sat on the front steps waiting for Adreanna to come back, I had known what happened in the cabin and she was heading back so I waited with some clothes for her.

Right now Edwards future was all knotted up and fuzzy, I worried about his sanity. Maybe this was all too much for him, I think he is trying to hide things from me, he is not making any sure decisions….this worried me to no end.

I heard Emmett come slinking in through the back door asking if Jasper is out of the shower yet, I giggled to myself thinking about what he just did. We are all so happy for Jasper and Bella.

At first I worried if it was going to bother me at all, even though I knew me and him weren't meant to be. Bella is the other half to his soul, once we were here and everything all happened at once I never felt happier for him.

Everything was falling into place, Edward just needs to get his head in the right place, with Adreanna where it belongs, he knew from Bella's birthday he was not meant to be with her, god that was horrible.

I knew my thoughts were safe for now, he was self loathing in the cabin and for some reason I see him in a tree when he comes back but I don't know why or anything, I am going to beat the shit out of him soon.

Adreanna will be coming up soon, I looked down at the folded clothes sitting next to me and shook my head, why does everything have to fucking complicated, I just hope the Halloween party is going off with out a hitch… but how the hell would I know, Jake must agree to come cause I don't see shit that night.

I just had to keep my head in the game keeping an eye on Edward with out him knowing, he seems to be a ticking time bomb.

Adreanna was just about here, I stood up gathering the clothes for her as I did she slowly came out from the woods her head down shoulders slumped.

He should have at least warned her to what she would be walking into… sure he had no idea we were in touch with Bella, but still he is not stupid either, he had to of known there was at least a slim chance .

I met her half way not wanting her to feel worse then she did. "I got you some clothes…" she looked at me if she could I am sure she would be blushing. "Thank you Alice… I am sure you saw what happened then."

Wow this was awkward, "I'm sorry Adreanna I was not meaning to look sometimes visions just pop in without me trying" I held out the clothes to her and she took them getting dressed quickly.

"I didn't tell anyone, not even Annaleah I just got to your and Edwards room got you some clothes and excused myself." She gave a weak smile, she was hurting I didn't need Jasper to know that.

As we walked in the house I heard Jasper and Bella get out of the shower, she was going to take a nap, I think mostly to hide from us a little longer and on top of the fact that she was exhausted. I giggled to myself as Adreanna and I walked into the living room.

"Jasper and Bella are going to take a nap…" I announced to everyone holding in the laugh, Emmett was there to pick up the slack. I glared at him, " I think you have done enough for the day dear brother, let them be."

**THIRDPARTYPOV**

The Cullen's living room was pretty full even missing three family members, Emmett was taking up the bulk of the living room floor playing Call of Duty 4on play station 3.…having a blue tooth so he could talk with others playing online, even though most of the time he was just yelling into it.

Rose was sitting in the chair behind Emmett using his shoulder as foot rest, she was on her laptop looking up the latest runway looks from Paris.

Carlisle and Esme were playing a civil game of chess on a small table by the back window, a game for them was always civil…it's the kids that always cheat.

AnnaLeah was sitting on the bigger couch cross legged with her feet tucked under her, she was working on some beadwork belt, she smiled when she saw her cousin and Alice walk in.

Alice took her place next to AnnaLeah , Adreanna pausing for a minute it was written all over her face she just wanted her Edward back.

After some long seconds Adreanna took a spot on the smaller couch mirroring the sitting position of her cousin, Alice looked between the two, " you know you two are more like twins then cousins"

AnnaLeah spoke first even though it looked like Adreanna was about to say something, "well if cousins could be twins we would be it, we were born on the same day about….half a day apart, we have been inseparable since then"

Hearing this Emmett got that look on his face a look that if someone would have noticed it right away he would have been told not to do it….

"Speaking of twins…." everyone but Rosalie looked at him. " has it escaped everyone's attention that Adreanna over there looks like she shares a DNA strand or two with Bella."

Everyone's eyes shifted toward Adreanna, if she could it looked clear if she could be blushing she would be, she was sinking into the couch.

Rosalie looked up over the top of the laptop giving Adreanna a once over " that explains why I don't like you" she went right back to the computer screen.

Emmett held in a laugh looking like he was about to explode, Esme looked shocked turning to Rosalie, "Rosalie!" The only response from Rosalie was a slight shrug…"what ..I don't."

Carlisle turned to Adreanna and gave her a smile, " you know Adreanna they say that everyone in the world has a twin, I always believed Bella was an anachronism ( a/n…an anachronism is an error in chronology, especially a chronological misplacing of persons, events, objects, or customs in regard to each other.)

AnnaLeah looked around at everyone's face then to Adreanna, "you know I think they have a point you do bare quite a resemblance to Bella….I wonder where her bloodline stems from"

Adreanna stood up, having enough for the night .."please excuse me" with that she was up the stairs in a flash, you did not need vampire hearing to hear Edward's bedroom door slamming.

**Meanwhile…..**

**JakePOV**

_I'm trying hard to understand_

_I'm trying hard to do the things it takes to be a man_

_Life's slipping away from me_

_It's not the way I thought it'd be_

_I'm trying hard to understand "and to know just who I am"_

_I'm trying hard to get a break or just to give a damn_

_I'm trying hard to get away "but I always seem to stay"_

_I'm trying hard to understand a fucking word you say_

_Life's slipping away from me_

_It's not the way I thought it'd be_

_Somebody help me_

_I'm in this mess and I'm slipping away_

_I'm trying hard to understand "but I don't know if I can"_

_I'm trying hard to make the best of this mess I'm in_

_Life's slipping away from me _

_It's not the way I thought it'd be_

_Life's slipping away from me_

_I can't hold on I can't believe it_

_Life's slipping away from me_

_It's not the way I thought it'd be_

_Somebody help me I'm in this mess and I'm slipping away_

_I'm trying hard to understand_

I had the volume cranked so loud the lyrics were pounding into my brain, its not like I had to worry about Bella being here….NO I don't cause she is off with those fuckin vampires again.

I growled and flipped from my stomach to my back rubbing my hands over my face, I was dreaming if I thought that was going to help in anyway. I was supposed to be out running with Embry and Quil, my head was just not there.

There was just way to much shit on my plate, I think I need a vacation. It will never happen, ok its like this, I need a vacation cause there is too much shit going on… but on the flipside of that I can't take a vacation cause there is so much shit going on.

I think all this stress is going to make my fuckin hair turn grey, then how am I going to imprint… yeah, yeah I know that's not how it goes but for fuck sake.

I sat on the edge of my bed , even over the loud ass music I heard Embry coming up the stairs, Quil was headed straight for the kitchen.

Not even knocking he came in and sat in the recliner in the corner of my room, "she's with them huh…" it was not even really a question he knew as well as I did where she was, I just gave a nod.

"Jake, none of us are thrilled about this….but man look at her, this is what she has been missing in her life, this is what makes her complete" I picked up the remote to my stereo turning it down just a little and replaying the song.

I closed my eyes getting all the shit in my head in the right order, "I asked Bella to marry me…" I didn't even want to see his face, I knew what was coming.

"Jake ….man what do you think would happen to Bella if she said yes, married your ass then you imprinted….come on man you have to look at this from all angles…your not meant to be with her, you know it , she knows it….so why are you wanting to take her happiness away from her?"

"fuck…." I got up and walked to the window, Quil was making his way up here eating… " I don't I just don't like the idea of her being with those…..fucking leaches" the words came out in a growl.

I turned to him, "you saw her Em… you saw what they did to her….what is going to stop that from happening again, AND …..if it does I can bet there will be no saving her"

Quil came in with a plate of pasta salad leftovers and a huge glass of pop(soda) he sat on my bed looking between me and Embry.

He decided to put his two cents in…"give 'em a chance man…. The emo one ain't the mind reader he seems to really care about her, so does the lil psychic"

I kept my eyes out the window...."I am just going to wait till they break treaty….then I will kill every last one of them"

**Back at the Cullen's ..JPOV**

If this was as close as I could get to sleeping I will take it, this was nice …feeding off Bella's peaceful sleeping emotions. I started to think of some more lyrics in my head.

She was going to wake up soon, I could tell she was fighting it…even if she wasn't aware of it. I never thought anything could be like this, I mean here I am with Bella in my arms…will this ever be real for me?

A few more minutes passed….she was awake I could tell, she was just being stubborn and not wanting to get up. I don't blame her I could use a nice week long nap.

I felt the urge to poke at her, I started at her sides…her body responding but she kept up the act of sleeping……so she wants to play hard ball lets do this .

I was over top of her in less then a second and was poking and tickling at everything I could touch, woohoo to the victor….her eyes shot open as she started to wiggle and squirm under me.

"What's wrong Ms. Swan…why cant you sit still Ms. Swan…. I thought you were sleeping" I still kept with the tickle assault, even with her growling and laughing at the same time.

"I was sleeping just fine Mr. Whitlock….until some annoying no sleeping vampire decided to mess with me" she gave me a pointed stare.

My dead heart was bursting when I heard my birth name escape her lips, I have not been called that in so long, its either been Hale, which is a name I took on for appearance reasons, or even Whitlock long ago… but I had never had the name Cullen.

Damn I just wanted to jump around the room, I wanted to sing ….yell….anything…something all at once.

I jumped off the bed and grabbed my pants hopping into them, Bella was enjoying herself, "do you find something that amuses you darlin….." I leaned on the bedpost wiggling my eye brows at her.

"well I don't think I ever saw anyone jump into pants like that…" she was laughing again, she got up getting all her own clothes on except the shirt, it was mine and it was hot on her.

"So….what do we do now" she sat on the edge of the bed her feet swinging back and forth, it was so cute she could not even touch the floor, christ love made me all mushy.

"I think its time for everyone's favorite game….feed the human" I walked over to her and put myself between her legs, grabbing her arms I wrapped them around my neck…she instinctively wrapped her legs around my waist , I lifted her off the bed as she held on.

The emotions from downstairs were off the say the least, there was pity, happiness, smugness, and hope all going around. All I knew for sure is where the smugness was coming form, where it always came from, Rosalie.

I took Bella to the kitchen setting her on her feet I pulled myself up to sit on one of the counters. She must have been thinking for a second then she went to the fridge getting out the jelly, she grabbed the loaf of bread from next to my ass….then she stopped and looked lost.

"The peanut better is in the pantry Bella," she looked at me strangely…. "how did you know what I was looking for,….." she walked over to the pantry getting out the peanut better.

"Bella….darlin come on now, I may not eat human food but I aint an idiot, I know what bread and jelly means…."

I was cut off by some more horrible singing in the living room…

'_It's peanut butter jelly time, _

_peanut butter jelly time, _

_peanut butter jelly time Where he at There he go Peanut butter jelly Do the peanut butter jelly, _

_peanut butter jelly, Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat _

"Emmett….if I hear you sing that one more GodDamn time, I am going to hit you with a baseball bat…." Rosalie didn't have to say anymore, I bet he was even dancing.

I looked back at Bella who was almost done making her sandwich, she was laughing and shaking her head, there has been so much improvement just over a few days, she is lighting this place up.

She took her food along with a glass of milk , we went to the living room where everyone else was. We took a seat on the littler couch, Alice was just telling AnnaLeah about our extended family up in Denali.

"….oh they are all so nice, the hunting is excellent… I know you will love it there," Bella made a soft choke sound we all looked at her, she took a sip of her milk. "Bella, I know its been forever but last I knew you need to chew before you swallow"

With red cheeks she rolled her eyes…"thanks for the helpful tip Emmett, no what happened was I went to say something forgot I had food in my mouth,…no wanting to be rude I shut up to fast….anyways I was thinking while you are talking about Denali…. I have never been up there, well….I have some vacation time coming up… "

She kind tailed off a little, I smiled as I looked at her then Alice blurted out…"ROADTRIP… it will be great…. Adreanna, AnnaLeah and Bella have never been there it will be wonderful."

I let Alice go on and on I stopped paying attention, "do you really want to go to Denali angel, I mean it's a hell of a trip…"

With out missing a beat she kissed me on the cheek, "yes I want to go, they are part of the family as well and I would to meet them" she gave me a sexy look but there was something buried behind it, she was up to something.

We had sat around for awhile listening to Emmett yell at his game and Alice just go on and on about the road trip… Bella started to yawn, I took her empty glass and plate into the kitchen for her, I would take care of it later when she was sleeping.

I helped pull her to her feet keeping my hands wrapped around hers, she turned to everyone as I pulled her out of the room …. "night everyone … ahhh I guess I will see you in the morning…" I gave her a playful yank scoping her up running up the stairs.

Alice called up the stairs after us… " Bella….don't forget to invite your dad and Sue to the Halloween party " I looked at Bella questioningly.

"I just thought in the last few minutes …about calling my dad and taking him and Sue to dinner and telling them about you…and the rest of the family." I laid her on the bed taking her pants off throwing them on the loveseat, I cuddled up next to her.

"I think that's a great idea darlin" I pulled out my phone and handed it to her to use. I could hear the ringing perfectly.

The ringing stopped and the chiefs gruff voice came through the line, "hello?", it was apparent he didn't recognize the number. "Hi dad…its me…I was…" he cut her off "Bella?…where is your phone " I had to smile as his concern, she on the other hand was not amused.

"Dad… I am on a ….friends phone mine is dead…anyways before you interrupt again I want to take you and Sue out to dinner tomorrow, around seven o'clock…I get out of work at six so that gives me time to get home and cleaned up, I will take you to your favorite place."

There was some muffled talking from his end, he must be making sure with Sue first he came back, "that sounds great Bells we don't have nothing going on, see you around seven"

"Ok dad see you then…" she snapped the phone closed and set it on the bed next to her…there was something I just had to bug her about…. "soooo a friends phone huh, I guess I understand."

I laid down putting both hands behind my head closing my eyes holding in a smile, then something hit me, I was hit with a quick wave of envy that turned to hate, just like it came on it was gone again.

I felt something on my chest and looked down, Bella rested her chin on my chest, her eyes looked up at me ….fuck I could get lost in those eyes for the rest of my existence.

"Jasper, I didn't want to explain things of the phone with my father I wanted to tell him in person,… its kinda hard to explain anyways…." she really felt a little sad, she must thing she really hurt my feelings.

"Darlin." I stroked her hair " I know I was just givin ya a hard time…now go to sleep" she closed her eyes, I kept running my fingers through her hair, she was out in no time, the same feelings of peacefulness took over me, I think this is the closest I will get to sleep…its great.

**EDWARDPOV**

I could not just sit out here in this cabin hoping everything was just going to go away on its own….no its not going to go away because Jasper my _brother_ was making my Bella believe she was in love with him .

I never thought in the long time I have known him he would use his powers like this, I guess I really didn't know his as well as I thought. I have to get back to the house I can not hear anyone from here.

I got dressed and walked to the main house hoping the fresh air would clear my head, it didn't. When I got close enough to the house I could hear Alice talking about a trip to Denali, what the hell she is planning on bringing Bella.

This could not happen Bella could not go…its not safe for her, if Jasper really loved her he would know that and try and protect her instead of throwing her into the middle of it.

I jumped into a tree that was next to the house and I listened, Bella and Jasper were about to go to bed, Alice called to them for Bella not to forget to invite her father….oh yes the wonderfully over done Cullen Halloween party.

This year was going to be worse then all the others, Bella was going to be there. I heard her in Jaspers room on the phone with her father, she was making plans to meet him and some lady for dinner. I stored this away for a later time, I can not make any plans.

She is off the phone now, its like Jasper is shouting in my head, bragging, I felt the waves of envy and hate pour off me, I think I caught them in time.

I jumped out of the tree and headed in the house making damn sure nothing was going on in my mind about what was going to happen.


	18. Sweet Dreams Are NOT made of these

Can you look at me now?

**~Disclaimer~ out of 17 chapters of this story we are running out of witty disclaimers!… We don't own shit… not the characters, not the music, but we DO own Adreanna, AnnaLeah… oh and the story line itself!**

**A/N~~~~~ Hey guys, I went in and fixed the song lyrics, for those who have already read this chapter, sorry they were all scrunched together, I thought I fixed it but for some reason it did not save, so anyways that is now fixed... for those of you who are just now reading, you should be all good :) if there are any other problems let us know. Enjoy!**

JakePOV

This night was just not going the way I wanted to at all, there was something telling me not to leave my fucking room, but noooo my two supposed best friends carried me out of the house. When I say carried me out of the house I literally mean picked my ass up and carried me out.

For bragging rights it took both of them to lift me. It was a goddamn down pour as I made my way back home, I got to the place where I stashed clothes, "Jesus fucking Christ" not only are my extra clothes soaking wet but my fucking pants are gone.

The shirt looked like it was a chew toy for a great dane… swiss cheese comes to mind, fuck it, its not like Bella is home anyways, so home naked I go.

I got half up the drive way not paying attention to shit when I was hit with vampire stank. If it was not for this fucking stuffy nose I would have smelled it before I got this far.

Oh well what can I do now I see her tiny ass standing on the steps… great it just had to be that one, what a fucking night.

I tried to walk as slowly as I could maybe…just maybe she will go away. Then she decided to strike up a conversation. " Jacob Black, next time, taking me to dinner would be the step before exposing your self to me."

So she saw all I had to offer, no point in hiding it now. I climbed the steps folding my arms looking down at her, her eyes locked with mine I know she wanted to look down.

"sorry evil fairy like leech, I don't know of any restaurants that serve blood for the nightly special." She rolled her eyes then looked at me with a raised brow, "Jacob I am not going to continue this conversation till you at least put some pants on."

I headed inside and mumbled " cant even go commando in my own damn house" I started for the stairs when I heard her smirk " it not as impressive as you think anyways." Fucking vampire hearing, I stomped up the steps to get dressed.

By the time I came back down she was standing by the door, if I hadn't noticed the small pile of clothes in her arms, I would have thought had didn't move at all. So Bella is not even coming back for her clothes that's just fucking great.

I moved past her and flopped on the couch my arm draping over my head, "so she cant even come home to get her clothes she sends her blood sucking messenger now"

"That is not it and you know it Jacob, she went to bed early, forgetting all about her work clothes, I am just doing her a favor, she will be home after the Halloween party, in which you are invited and will be coming, Charlie and Sue are invited… I cant see if they come for sure cause you are for sure going to be there so I cant see diddaly squat."

This brought a smile to my face, anything to make the leeches life that much harder. I thought about it for a second, I guess a party don't sound too bad, at least I would be able to keep an eye on Bella from there.

"Ah look I am trying to be real civil here, but I really cant breath to begin with, your making it so much harder, I had a fuck of a night, can you leave so I can relax….?" I heard the door open I shot up, "hey little one, tell my Bells I will be there …the party I mean."

She gave some creepy all knowing smile then was gone, now I had the house and my thoughts to myself.

JasperPOV

I think tomorrow when she is either at work or when she is out to eat with her dad I need to go feed….laying in bed with her I really started to notice the ache in my throat.

I could tell she was in her deepest sleep, I slowly pulled myself out of the bed, not before moving a few stray hairs from her cheek. I grabbed my acoustic guitar, hell I could most likely grab the electric and the biggest amp I own, plug that in next to her head and she wouldn't budge.

I smiled at how good she was sleeping now compared to the first night I was back. I really, really wanted to think that had something to do with me, my self esteem was telling me otherwise.

I started to work out this song that was swirling in my head, as I worked out the notes, I just thought back to my past and looking over to the angel in my…no our…. bed. She had been through so much in her short life…none of that matters to her, she just goes on, she lets everything build her to a stronger person, I could learn so much from her.

My past was so dark, could I ever be enough for her, something so ….amazing. The chorus hit me all at once, it was almost dawn before I did a dry run of the song.

I was just about to the end of the dry run when I felt emotions sparking from the bed… I looked up and Bella was sitting up covering herself with the blanket smiling. I leaned on the guitar smiling right back at her.

"I'm sorry darlin did I wake you?" She gave a little yawn while shaking her head…"no I have this pain in the ass internal clock, I forgot I have to open at the store today apparently my body didn't forget."

I laughed a little "I know you do…" she was about to ask but I cut her off. "Alice darlin , she even went and got your work clothes, they are in the bathroom waiting."

She unwound herself from the blanket and sat on the edge of the bed stretching her toes, damn that's even cute. She cocked her head just slightly I wonder if she even knew she was doing it, I got a full blast of curiosity.

"What are you so curious about my dear.." I knew exactly what it was I just wanted to hear it.

"You were playing something…you were so into it I only heard part of it…I have some time before I have to get ready, do you mind?"

I looked down at the strings as I started to play the notes, I didn't need to look I already knew it by heart I guess I just couldn't look at her as I did this.

_How am I supposed to breathe?_

_I try to relax. I touch your still frame_

_So I can watch you closer_

_And study the ways I believe I belong to you…to you…..sorry _

_I scratch at your waist line... your doll hair_

_I dig up the thought of how your eyes glow_

_So I make you my religion, my collision, ,my escape goat_

_So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?_

_Can you pretend I'm amazing?_

_I can pretend I'm amazing...Instead of what we both know_

_I cut to the punch line baby_

_Can we pretend I'm amazing_

_Instead of what we both know_

_Now our history is for sale_

_And for that I apologize_

_You see you're my only know how_

_The study of when I believe I belonged to you,_

_To you_

_You see I've made you into something more delicious,My sweet ghost_

_So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?_

_Can you pretend I'm amazing?_

_I can pretend I'm amazing...Instead of what we both know_

_I cut to the punch line baby_

_Can we pretend I'm amazing_

_Instead of what we both know._

There was a pause after I finished the last cord, before I knew it she was pushing my guitar out of the way sitting on my lap facing me. I'll be damned she actually surprised me.

My head jerked up her nose was just about touching mine, she had the biggest grin I had ever seen, like a kid just found Santa's workshop. She felt smug, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't get used to it darlin, it wont happen again" I kissed the tip of her nose. She sat up all tall and proud, "well that's just fine with me Mr. Whitlock, surprising you just once in my human lifetime is enough for me"

"I wonder about that song Jasper, I mean there is something I want to get out right now before we go any further with this…." she motioned between me and her.

" You Jasper Whitlock are more then I could ever ask for in life, I know you are amazing, I love you more then I thought possible for anyone to love… ya know Jasper for an empath you suck at picking up the right feelings…. I know I don't hide my love from you."

She was right, her love for me was so strong I really had to be a dip shit to ignore it. " Your right angel…. I am sorry for being all emo on ya " she laughed right before she kissed me, her hands twisting into my hair locking me in place, as if she needed that, I was right where I wanted to be.

Her lust was covering every possible inch of me, I slowed the kisses down before I could pull away, getting a soft whimper from her, "I know darlin…." I gave her a few more soft pecks…"I don't want to stop either but if we don't, I wont and you will be late for work."

I had to laugh when she growled as she got up and headed down for the shower, she was so frustrated it was great. I stretched out my legs crossing at the ankles leaning back my fingers laced together behind my head.

I guess I can go down and see what the rest of the family is doing. As I got up I was feeling really guilty…. I looked over to my stairs looking eyes with my little brother.

Wow he was looking hit. "I am well aware of how I look Jasper but thanks anyways…."

Damn I had been away from him to long…"sorry man it was just an observation… " I really fucking hate this awkward silence, even after all the shit I truly miss my little brother.

"You know Jasper….." he walked around my room looking at things " you're the only one I let call me little brother, Emmett has tried…its just not right ya know, cause technically I am older then him."

I watched him walk around him seemed tense, when wasn't he …always the brooding self loathing vampire, what really worried me is there was some underlined feeling under the guilt….which means he is hiding something from me.

"Jasper, I think all things considered I have a little bit of a right to be upset, you should understand that…. " he stopped over by my guitars his finger moving across the top of my classic Les Paul, he had his back to me.

"Edward… I didn't do this out of malice to you, you of all people should know that, if I did you would pluck it out of my head and use it against me." I folded my arms over my chest again trying to keep my head clear.

"This is a really fucked up situation man, I just hope we can get past it and be a family again, for everyone ya know…but especially Bella." I was not going to sink to the level of Jake and shove graphic thoughts into his head, some just slipped form the night Bella opened up and told me what life was like after we left.

He tensed even more….damnit. "Look Edward, I am not going to stand here and make you feel like dirt, cause believe me I know you do, she's happy man, ain't that what you wanted along?"

He turned to me with a growl, "not this way Jasper, not this life…." he stopped himself, I let it go.

"It's not your choice….it never was, its gotta tell ya something if even after you left her…for her own good she still ends up with this family, just take a good look at her Edward, she is happy that's also gotta mean something to you at least, she will forgive you ….once you stop being a jackass."

He pinched the bridge of his nose then ran his hand up into his hair, then looked me dead in the eyes. " Jasper I came up here to make amends not to fight, it will be fine just please allow me some time to adjust….that is all I am asking"

His emotions were not waving at all, I thought about what he was asking, "I can't stop seeing her Edward, I won't …."

This time he cut me off, "that is not what I am asking Jasper, just around me please try and keep certain things on a back burner…ask the same from her as well…. "

We both looked to the stairs… Bella was standing there dressed in her Newton's work clothes toweling off her hair, she cocked a brow when we both stopped and looked at her.

"Should I like… go back down the stairs…." she looked down the stairs then back to us. Edward spoke up first, "no Bella it is ok I was just leaving, thank you for your time Jasper."

He made his way to the steps very deliberately sidestepping her, then he was gone. I tired to carefully pick out his emotions when he saw Bella, then when he had to go past her, still nothing. Fuck he really was hiding something.

Bella made her way to the bed draping the damp towel on the post, "did I miss something or did I interrupt something?" She sat on the bed getting her shoes on keeping her eyes on me.

"Well he came up here to make things right….with me, and eventually with you, he did how ever ask if when around him we could keep certain things on the back burner per say." I felt a tinge of sadness from her.

She chewed at her lip…"I guess that is reasonable, I mean this can't be the easiest on him, I understand….no hot sex or make out sessions in front of the ex…." she jumped up "can do."

I moved over to her wrapping my arms around her waist pulling her to my chest…"and for me no thinking of hot sex or making out with said brothers ex…"

She smiled " mmm how are you ever going to manage….well at least you have time to figure it out on your own cause I have to get outta here, " she stood on her tip toes kissing me, I had to be the strong one pulling back.

"Bella….work remember" she just gave me a 'mmhmm' I had to laugh " get your human ass outta here Isabella Swan before I have Emmett come up here and carry you to work on his shoulder"

Her face was priceless, she knew it was a possibility, she gave me one more quick peck before heading out, "Jasper, don't forget I am going to dinner with my dad and Sue, then I think I should make an appearance at home, I will call you when I get home."

With that she was gone….I felt empty, what the hell was I going to do with the rest of my long ass day. I am going to go see if anyone else wants to join on me a hunting trip.

I was not even down the stairs when I heard Alice yelling from the front door, "hunting is a great idea Jazz….everyone is in except Edward… he just hunted."

Adreanna was going with out him, damn he really fucked up, oh well the more the merrier.

………………………….

BPOV

I really wonder what I would have to do…what lengths I would have to go to, to make Mike realize I was SO not interested. Four times to night I told him I was seeing someone, after the second time I even told him WHO I was seeing.

I will never understand why Mrs. Newton insisted on making sure there were always a male working when I closed, I really hated these open to close shifts, at least I got an hour lunch, with out Mike somebody had to work the register while I was gone.

I am not even going to worry about it because if Jasper held up his word I would not be working here much longer anyways….I hope. I can't think about that now, I had to get out of here so I was not late meeting my dad and Sue.

I made my way to the door where Mike was waiting to lock it up, "come on girl you take forever, so….you sure about that date?" I walked out the door avoiding any kinda psychical contact as he held the door open for me.

"Yes Mike I am pretty sure Jasper has it covered in the take Bella on a date department" I looked out to the parking lot…argh could it get any worse he was parked right next to me, that means he will be taking it upon himself to walk me to my car.

As _we _walked to the cars he was cooking something else up again I could tell I have been working with Mike far to long. I got to my truck and hit the unlock button….he spoke "I will look in your back seat for you, you never know these days huh Bella…"

He opened the back door, I stood there with my arms crossed as he acted like some kinda security or some bull shit. " Ah Mike I really have to get going, my back seat is not that big I am sure if something was in there it would have killed you by now."

He backed out and closed the door, "you know I have been meaning to ask you, what's with the super dark tint, you don't live in L.A or someplace like that…there's not that much sun."

"Well I like my privacy Mike… now have a good night don't get to drunk and drive, always use protection and all that…." I moved past him got in the driver seat tuning the key effectively tuning him out with my blaring music. ( a/n song will be posted in myspace profile….Nine Inch Nails ~ Sin)

He just stood there open mouthed as I drove out of the parking lot one thing I did have was an impressive system in my car, hey what else was I going to spend my money on right, I had to have my brain rattling music before work.

I got home before I knew it, I was lost in the music and my thoughts, damn good thing I didn't hit a dog or something. I parked in the driveway and looked down at our shed, Jake had both our bikes out.

I guess he was working on them, I didn't pay it much attention I had shit to do in a little amount of time, thanks to Mikes never ending mouth I was about twenty minutes behind.

I got in the door my eyes immediately going to the stairs, I heard his music, I listened for a second, I could always tell what mood he was in my what song he was playing. (a/n he is listening to Linkin Park~ Nobody's Listening song will be on the myspace page )

Ok I see where that is going. I knew he knew I was home he would come talk to me when he was good and ready, I went to my room and got ready.

I came out ready to go, wearing my Stone Sour made of scars tee shirt and black dickie like pants, my hair was down framing my face. I had just plain black eye liner. The house was dark, and quiet there was no music coming form Jakes room either.

I went outside a smile spreading across my face, Jake was out front now both bikes out in the front yard, he was on his, he had his riding jacket on already and some black pants.

"What's going on Jake, I have to go to dinner with Charlie and Sue" my jacket was laid across the seat of my bike, I gently ran my finger over the jacket up the gas tank.

"I know Charlie called me, asking me if I wanted to come along, I wasn't sure but you know how your dad gets, he said if there was something you had to say to him you could say it in front of me….I already know what you have to say…"

"Jake….I don't want this to…" he shook his head and cut me off.

"Bella just the get the fuck on the bike and lets go… I am fine with this, I promise….I also thought you could use a good ride…on the bikes" he flashed me his brightest smile.

The ride was great, the cool not overly cold air, wind rushing around my hair, I smiled the whole way to the dinner.

Dinner went with out a hitch, it was great seeing my dad and Sue again, I have just been so damn busy lately, its been hard to catch up. Tonight was like every other time with them except I had to reintroduce Charlie with the idea of the Cullen's being back. He seemed a little bitter still, how the fuck was I going to tell him I was dating someone let alone a member of the Cullen family.

After the "before dinner drinks" Jake took the liberty of speaking up, he gave me a quick wink, "so ….Bella is seeing someone " he smiled as he took a sip of his drink. " That is why she wanted to bring you guys out but in true Bella fashion she is being a chicken shit"

I took a deep breath….great thanks Jake. My dad looked at me shocked, " Bella you better not be seeing Edward Cullen again…" his face was a strange shade of red, his voice stern.

"No dad… god no… but your kinda close to the mark, actually its Jasper…the blonde one."

I looked between him and Sue especially Sue…she knew the secret, she knew what the Cullen's really were. When she first started to date my father we had an agreement it was best for Charlie the less he knew the better.

I took him a few good solid minutes before he came back to plant earth, " Jasper…wasn't he dating Alice, I mean Bella I don't know but I thought there was some kinda girl law about man stealing."

I almost lost my drink when I started to laugh, "no dad…its not like that they broke up awhile ago, and Alice is more then happy for both of us." Jakes cell phone started to go off, I looked over at him.

After he got off the phone he said there was an issue with Paul, what else is new, Sue told him she would get his food to go and bring it to the house since we were on the bikes, he gave me a hug and kissed the top of my head and was gone.

The rest of dinner went off great I told my dad about a vacation I will be taking with the Cullen's soon, he was actually taking the news of my choice of boyfriend well.

We were getting ready to leave when I remembered about the party…I was putting my jacket on "I almost forgot…the Cullen's are having a Halloween party tomorrow night, you are invited."

We walked out the door…" that sounds good Bella, we don't have anything planned, I am on call that night so we might get called away, but sure we will come, do we have to dress up?"

I thought…"dad I am pretty sure you do, its Alice throwing the party, so I will just go with yes, " I laughed a little "I will call you tomorrow if its anything different, the party starts at seven."

I walked them to Sue's car giving hugs and saying goodbyes, I watched them pull out of the parking lot, I was so happy for my dad he was so different now with Sue.

The smile was still on my face as I walked over to my bike. I saw someone standing by it…looking it over, at first I thought it was Jasper, nope not so lucky.

"What are you doing here Edward," only the bike was separating him and I. I reached over and put the key in the ignition.

"Nice bike…" I could tell he was not thrilled about me having let alone riding a bike, he was trying to hide it though. " I had a talk with Jasper today, I only felt it appropriate to have a talk with you as well."

"Ok Edward talk…" he sighed in frustration looked at the bike then to me again, I was hoping we could go somewhere…less populated"

"Alright, no biggie I understand we can not take the chance of the nice people of Forks coming out and catching a piece of our conversation."

I started to get on the bike, he held out a hand to stop me. "May I please drive, not that I do not trust you to the fullest, its just basic science, I weigh more then you, motorcycle riding is all physics Bella."

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes….did he always talk to me like I was a fucking child. How in the hell did I ever put up with it, cause right now its driving me insane.

Before I could protest he was on the bike first, he had a point I guess I tired to have Jake on the back of my bike once, its not like I laid it down or anything it was just awkward as fuck.

I got on the back of my own bike keeping my hands on my thighs, "ready when you are" he started the bike kicked up the stand in one fluid movement, I reached behind me grabbing the handle under my seat.

I wasn't about to hold onto him, I still trusted him, but in the same right I was not going to wrap my arms around him, these arms were for Jaspers body.

The ride went fast, not that I cared I loved how fast my bike was, and I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, the bike ride I mean. I guess I was anxious for the talk.

Ok I trusted him until now, he pulled off the road onto the soft shoulder, killing the engine letting the bike rest on the stand, I looked at the all to familiar path to his meadow…great here we go again.

"You know Edward, last time we were here it did not end well," he got of the bike first, with out even bumping me, he turned with a smile.

"I know that is why I want to make things different, Bella no matter what happens this will always be our place, nothing can change that."

I guess he had a point, neither of us can change the past, its not worth dwelling on it either, I dismounted the bike…thankfully with out falling on my ass, it would be just my luck to crash off a bike that is not moving in front of the biggest worry wart in the known world.

I started to walk in the direction I knew we walked once before. He gently grabbed my arm, "Bella, could we please do this the easy way, I will behave myself I swear."

EPOV

When I got to the diner parking lot I looked around for Bella's truck, I didn't see it, nor did I see the Chief's cruiser, I could hear his soft thoughts inside, they were here, he was glad to see Bella was happy, and at the same time extremely relived she was not happy with me.

What the hell did he know, I walked around the lot trying to figure out what car was Bella's or Chief Swan's, I really do not see Bella having more then one vehicle.

That was until I came upon a pink and black Ducati her sent all over it, my mind was spinning of all the bad things that could happen with my Bella on the back of a bike like this.

I was so angry with her father, the Chief of Police for gods sake, for letting Bella even own such a thing, I would never allow it, maybe just maybe I would let her on the back of a bike I operated but that is as far as it goes. I want to pull my hair out just thinking of her on the back of a bike with Jasper.

I could not let all these things distract me, I had to play nice if I had any chance of doing what I set out to do tonight.

It wasn't much longer till I saw Bella her father along with some strange lady walking out. She was going to be over here soon, she just got done saying goodbye, giving hugs and other pleasantries.

She was simply mouth watering as she walked over here, she had on black pants that fit her like they were custom fit, she had on a black and pink flame leather riding jacket.

When she got a little closer looking over toward me she had a beaming smile, once she got closer her smile faltered, she must have thought I was Jasper.

She asked me what I was doing here, I fought the urge to blurt out everything right there, no this was not the place. She still was not completely trusting me.

Somehow I talked her into leaving with me, she had the nerve to think she was going to ride me on her bike, can you believe her…. me on the back of a bike, I don't think so. It would not even look right.

Before she had a chance to change her mind I was on the bike waiting for her to get on, I could not wait till I felt her arms around me.

She got on, to my dismay she kept her hands to herself, ok fine she can be like that now but when I get going she will be against me nice and tightly.

I had the bike topped out to max speed, not once did she touch me, when did she become so brave, this will just not do.

I got to the trail that would lead to our meadow, I know last time Bella and I where here, things were….hard….to say the least, in my head this will be my redemption.

"You know Edward, last time we were here it did not end well,"

I was off the bike with out even jolting her. We were still on the same wave length

"I know that is why I want to make things different, Bella no matter what happens this will always be our place, nothing can change that."

She dismounted the bike quite gracefully, when I say gracefully I mean she did not end up on the ground.

She started to walk in the direction we needed to go, I grabbed her arm being very careful, "Bella, could we please do this the easy way, I will behave myself I swear."

I did all I could from jumping up and down with joy when she agreed with me yet again, I was going to play the role she wanted me too right now, so instead of grabbing her and flipping her onto my back, I moved in front of her getting on one knee letting her take control of getting on my back.

We got to the meadow in no time, I was reluctant to let her go, I did…this time was going to be different, this time she was going to see.

I knelt down again so she could get off of my back more easy, I turned looking at her, this time I was not going to let her get ahead of me, I had to much to say.

"Bella, you were right last time we were out here things did not go well, I aim to make that up to you, my actions where….shameful, I really hope you can look past it and we can start over. "

She watched me intently … good she was going to let me do the talking, I reached up to brush away a stray hair, she flinched back, "its about time you have some real reactions Bella, you have every reason to flinch back…"

It killed me that she did that, on the other hand that is a normal reaction. I hated to even think of that Jasper had done to her body, she was the rarest blown glass, he was like a toddler with a baseball bat.

"vampires…are the best kind of hunters, it seemed like it was just a few weeks ago I was demonstrating that in this very place, but Bella some of us are different kind of hunters, especially ones with certain gifts or traits."

I saw her mindless caressing her scar from James, it was now or never… "Bella there are still things you don't know or understand about us, male vampires have other cravings…something more the blood, I am sure you know what I am talking about, you are a grown mature woman now."

"Jaspers life has been different then any of ours, not only was he able to feed when ever he felt, he also had endless women at his call, he abused that gift of his, he used it to do more then control newborn vampires Bella, he used it to get his way with human girls…."

I was not sure if I needed to back away cause she was going to take a swing at me again or catch her because she was about to faint, there was so much going on in her face, so I will send the final blow, "Bella I have reason to believe he is using his gift on you in such a way."

Her mouth opened and closed a few times mimicking a fish, she gently shook her head, "no Edward, I call your bluff…"

I moved in close to her taking her in my arms pulling her close I whispered, "Bella, I know I hurt you, that is why I am telling you this, in some way I need to make amends with you….let me show you what real love is."

Ever so carefully I took her face in my hands, before she could say a word I pressed my lips to hers, her warm lips were still against mine… she must be thinking of the way I used to kiss her, being so careful she could not even move, well it was time to show her something new.

I pulled her tight against me one hand holding her lower back the other at the base of her neck I deepened the kiss…..still nothing, strange I felt nothing as well.

My mind was empty, I could not wrap my head around this, she was my Bella…but there was nothing…..not from her, not from me, just nothing.

By the time I snapped out of my trance I caught a glimpse of her running back toward where the bike was parked, yet I was frozen to my spot. I could not chase after her, make her understand she was mine, and that I needed her more importantly she needed me.

BPOV

I actually listened to my body, I ran, I ran like there was the deadliest of animals chasing after me. I didn't know if Edward really believed everything he was saying or if he lost it, I am betting on lost it.

I had no idea if he was fallowing me or not, this was fucking nuts…he almost had me with the story about Jasper…almost. I just want to go home, I knew the way back to the road, after he left I went this way many times.

I didn't know how long it took me to get back to the bike, just as I was breaking the tree lines I patted my pockets…."fuck" I didn't drive my bike last.

I got to the bike ready to call Jake, even if that would be a really big mistake, it was better for Edward then if I called Jasper. I sat on the bike still shaking, panting from the run my mind has not caught up enough for the tears to start.

I looked at the ignition, there the keys sat, fucking A…. thanks for small favors right, the bike roared to life under me, I kicked it sideways taking off to the direction of home, I rode faster and harder then I had in years….I rode like I was running away from my past.

I got home leaving my bike in the front yard, I ran inside slamming the door knowing Jake would not be home yet, sometimes if he has to deal with Paul he will not be home all night.

I ran to my room, throwing my jacket onto the flood of my bathroom, I was hyperventilating at this point. I splashed some cold water on my face my make up running down my face, I look like a chick that should be in a Marilyn Manson video.

I threw open my cabinet grabbing out my pills, I would have never thought after this week I would even need them, looks like I was wrong, I quickly popped two of the little white pills leaning my mouth to the sink faucet.

I didn't even get any pajama's on, I just turned on my Ipod, crawled into bed, pulling the blanket over my head I let the pills grab hold of me.

I could not have been asleep long before I was involved in an amazing dream, it took place here in my room, this very night…I was still in my clothes and I could hear the music off my Ipod in the back ground, that's not what I was paying attention to though.

Jaspers hands were caressing me, feeling me, taking all of me in. I kept my eyes closed moaning softly for him, his cold fingers made their way across my belly, not venturing more then that, I begged for more.

His lips were all over my neck, he was keeping his body above mine…I reached up to pull him closer, he told my to keep my hands where they were, something was not right, I did what he said moving my hands above my head.

He was starting to move more franticly, what was his hurry I didn't want this end, he pinned my hands to my headboard I moaned more with approval. There was still something off about his touch, it was cold stone…I could not place it…my eyes just wouldn't open…fucking pills I needed to see my Jaspers face.

He held my wrists with one hand, his other went back under my shirt…staying just on my belly, I arched into his touch to urge him on.. "mmmm Jasper…"

I felt his body go ridge over mine then I felt him jump off the bed, at this point I realized it was not a dream…I willed my eyes open somehow, even foggy with medicated sleep I saw Edward standing at the foot of my bed.

I sat straight up my head spinning from the fast movement, " Edward! Get out….oh god get out!"

With that he was gone, out my window, I jumped up locking it behind him, stupid I know but really now, who wouldn't do that at least. I did the only thing I could think of in my fuzzy headedness…I grabbed my phone and called Jasper.

It rang a few times…oh fuck, fuck, fuck I hope Alice didn't see that and now he is off killing Edward, finally he answered it. "Darlin?" he sounded worried….oh god kill me.

"Bella, hello?…." I blinked and finally answered him, "Jasper, hey sorry I forgot to call you when I got home, I …..,I ah took my pills and went right to bed."

I could tell he was relived, he didn't know after all, " Jasper, umm I was kinda wondering…well I had a bad dream, if your not busy could you come stay with me?" I chewed on my lip my knees tightly to my chest, it was all just a bad dream, a bad dream that really happened.

"Sure thing Angel, I will be there in a few minutes ok, is your window open…" I felt the sting of panic again, " Ah No….I mean no….the front door is open just come in the front door, we always leave it open."

I wanted to smack myself in the head for that I got off the phone was Jasper then just sat against my headboard crying.

JasperPOV

I was already on my way to Bella's when I got her call, Alice had seen them talking in the meadow, that was fine until he started to talk, Alice wouldn't give me everything, but she said he was using my past against me, and also adding his own version of it.

She said he was telling her I was influencing her with my gift… Alice was editing that much I was sure of. I was never going to trust that son of a bitch around Bella alone, I was not going to make decisions for her, that was his mistake, that doesn't mean I have to trust the fucker.

I parted ways with the hunting group after that, just moments before Bella's call I got a frantic call from Alice, he came into her room while she was sleeping…she took sleeping pills, he didn't know that but he made moves on her.

I saw red, Alice would not give me details….like always, she said Bella thought he was me she called out to me he freaked she freaked I need to get there, as she was saying that Bella beeped in, I hung up on Alice.

At Bella's his sent was still strong, I did one fast lap around the house, no Edward, no Jacob. I made my way into the front door, it was stupid as hell to leave the door unlocked…I guess she didn't think about that living with the alpha of a wolf pack and all.

I got into her room, she could only be described as a hot mess, she launched herself off the bed into my chest in one movement. I wrapped my arms around her, good thing I didn't play with my food tonight, I kept it clean.

I walked over to the bed having to carry her the few feet, I laid her down his smell was sickening… only because it was were it shouldn't be. I waited a little while before I helped her calm down.

"Darlin, want to tell me about this dream that has you so frazzled?" I kissed the top of her head and wondered if she was going to change her story from dream to what really happened.

"No, I just want to go to sleep and forget about it, thank you for coming Jasper…" she was already starting to fade, partly from me, the rest from the pills. That's ok she needed sleep.

I listened to the song that softly came from her Ipod, it was a little more rap for my taste but the female voice was nice and there was a good meaning behind the lyrics. ( a/n Ipod song…Where'd you go…Fort Minor)

I was thinking about the lyrics, she has not had a chance to mess with her Ipod since we had come home, I bet she buried her hurt into the music, someplace where Jake or her other friends and family didn't have to see it in her. Once I get a chance I want to flip through her play list, now was not the time.

I adjusted both of us in the bed, where she would be more comfortable, how she could sleep on ice cold stone the way she could shocks the hell outta me, I ain't gonna bitch, she was sleeping peacefully in my arms.

As the peaceful song ended I could now think about how I am going to rip Edward piece by fucking piece.


	19. Why's, Cry's and Screaming Forgiveness

**Disclaimer~ Twilight, I don't own it, Music I don't own any of that either! **

**A/N …please read update note in my profile! I can't even begin to tell you all how sorry I am it took so long to post this chapter, this chapter has been cut in half because I had such a hard time with it.. But that also means the next chapter should be so much faster to get out, hopefully now I am on track!!**

**( I just fixed a few spelling mistakes, and fixed Jaspers middle name, if there was still some spelling things I missed let me know. Sorry if anyone thought this was a new chapter... the next chapter is about half done as of Feb 21) **

JPOV

I really don't know how I made it through the night, I really, really was going to kill him. I was seething all night long, I didn't fucking get why Bella lied to me.

Was she protecting him, was she scared for him, or scared of him? I had to watch out not to push my feelings on to her, I really want to believe she really thought it was a nightmare.

This was going to make for a really fucked up Halloween party. I looked over to the clock, it was almost time for Bella to get up, I cant wait till I can talk her into quitting her job.

Its not like she needs it, if she is still wanting to spent eternity with me, I think the Newton's would catch on.

I laughed as I thought of Bella unleashing on Mike Newton, I know how much he still bugs her.

I debated with myself if I should wake her up a little early so I could have some time with her too see if I can get a little more about last night out of her, she could at least tell me about him meeting her at the restaurant.

I got off the bed wandered around her room, this was the first time I actually got a good look at her room, last time I was in here I ran like a bitch.

Her walls were a dark crimson with black textured boarder, I wonder how big Jakes room is, cause this is a nice sized room and she has an en-suite bathroom….how sweet he gave her the master bedroom.

I looked over to the largest wall to my left, from floor to ceiling, halfway across the way was the second largest cd collection I have ever seen, "holly shit."

The other half of the wall was all her books, I decided to start with the cd's… I started to scan her music, she had just about everything, I laughed when I came across her Elvis collection, oh god when Emmett finds out about this…

I didn't find much country, though she did have some Patsy Cline, Jerry Lee Lewis, and even two Johnny Cash cd's, all the rest was pretty heavy, dark good shit.

As I was getting to the end of the collection I thought, if her and Edward get over this I bet they can be best friends, I think it would be good for both of them….they really are alike…in some ways.

When I started to go over the titles in her book collection, I got another kind of insight on how deeply she missed us, almost everything on the first three shelves were some kind of vampire book, fiction….non fiction… wow. All the rest were occult like books, plenty of horror, I don't think Bella was scared of the blood and guts anymore, on the very bottom shelf were what I knew the be Bella's old favorites, her quest for love still remains.

She started to stir around in the bed, I had to confront her about last night, she needs to know she shouldn't have to lie to me, and that she can't lie to me , I sat at the foot of her bed elbows on my knees, just running my fingers through my hair, damnit I don't know what to do, so I just went back to pacing.

I was on my hundred and third round of pacing when her voice stopped me dead in my tracks, I was so deep in thought I never noticed she was sitting up in bed I shoved my hands in my pockets while I looked down at my shoes.

"Jasper, why have I felt like ripping someone's head off or running away never coming back all in the last three minutes? What is wrong?"

What's wrong … what's wrong…christ what isn't wrong! My head was a mess, I didn't know if should be here like this but I didn't have the strength to leave.

She was now at the foot of her bed looking down, her eyes made it back to mine with a look of, ok spill it or I am going to kick your ass.

I looked down to me feet again now seeing what got her so peeved, I had wore a track on her floor from my pacing…my bad. I had to step away for a second to clear my head…think fast Jasper…"sorry Bella, why don't you go shower and get ready for work, I will make some coffee and we can talk" before she could argue…which I knew she was going to do I was out of the room closing the door softly.

Damn…dodged that one…for the time being, but it looks like I was not in the clearing…there was already fresh coffee smell coming from the kitchen…Jake, lovely.

Well there goes getting rid of the anger…I walked into the kitchen he was sitting at the table, he was in just some running shorts, his face heavy with sleep. I had to laugh he was gripping that cup of black coffee like it was a life line. "Ruff night?" he didn't even look at me as I grabbed another mug getting it ready for Bella, then moving to the fridge taking my time looking for something.

"I have done the night shift all week…I am dead on my feet…" I looked over at him and smirked, his emotions were telling me that was not a joke pointed at me…he was just beat. I gathered the things to make Bella a southwest omelet.

"Yeah I know what you mean man…..last night all I wanted to do was sleep," fuck I think I said to much, his interest peaked…he glanced at me over his shoulder.

"What is going on, I mean you should be used to not sleeping by now …your what six-hundred or something like that" my jaw dropped, I turned to look at him leaning on the counter, he was also fully turned to me, "man I ain't that old… " he took another huge gulp of his coffee…with a snort "well it don't matter how old you are, point is you have had plenty of time to get used to what you are."

I was frying the sausage as he was pouring another cup, I was not even going to get into this argument with him right now, my goal was to calm down. "are you going to drink that whole pot yourself, or are you going to save some for Bella?"

"There is enough left for her, she only has two cups a morning, if that….she hates the way I make coffee" he smirked….right now I really started to envy Jake, he knows Bella on a level I only wish to get to, a level that takes time, time I am willing to give her….that right there was the key to my calming down, I knew I had to get over this, she loved me…not him…Bella is a smart caring person I am sure she had her reasons for not telling me about Edward.

I was just mixing in the rest of the things for the omelet when she walked in…her hair hung damply it had a slight wave to it, she was the most sexy creature to walk the planet….the hottest piece of ass….that just walked right past me like I was a ghost in the kitchen.

Was she pissed at me….what the fuck… I broke the spatula I was holding, out of all the fucked up things. She sat down with cup of coffee wrapping all her fingers around it as if it was keeping her warm. She didn't even give me a sideways glance when I tossed out the broken kitchen utensil then getting another one, being so distracted I damn near burned her food.

As I put her plate in front of her Jake looked between the two of us like he was watching a tennis match, this was going to be a shitty day. Somehow somewhere she turned this all around. She was the one who lied to me, what was she even pissed about we haven't even talked about this, I watched her pick at her food….I suppressed a growl getting pissed off all over again.

The tension got bad enough where Jake pulled the fake yawn and stretch, "well I better get some rest if I want to make it to that damn party tonight," he got up taking care of his cup hanging it on one of the two hooks that hung above the sink. Bella looked up at him…"hey Jake, I went online and ordered my costume in Port Angles…can you go get it for me after your nap…I will pay for yours if you find one you like."

"Sure sure….just leave the money on the table, and a list of anything else you want or need while I am out." with that I heard his large frame go upstairs and land on what I would guess was his bed…not even two solid minutes later I heard his snores.

This is driving me nuts, she has not said a fucking word to me, I sat down in Jakes place looking over her while I leaned on my folded arms on the table, she was just about half done with her food when she got up taking her plate with her, she carefully wrapped it up placing it in the fridge, she finally turned to me as she shifted her weight to her right foot.

"Are you going to talk to me at all or just shot me pissy ass looks…when I don't even know what your pissed about in the first place," I couldn't take it anymore, I was going to snap….I needed an explanation and I needed it now. I didn't care if I had to call her into work and hold her hostage till she told me.

I wanted to get a hold on my and her emotions, it looked like that was not going to happen anytime soon.

We were feeding off each other, one of us about to give. She headed to her bedroom trying to slam her door in my face I just pushed it back open slamming it behind me for effect, she wanted slamming doors she would get slammed doors. My baby will always get what she wants, even if its not what she needs. She turned heel on me shoving me by the chest, "what the fuck Jasper, you are just making me more pissed off and you know it, what the hell do you want from me"

She was screaming in my face the hurt and rage were battling inside her, she was so goddamn conflicted….I can't do this for her…she needs to come to me, she needs to bring it out not me.

It was all boiling, something was going to blow, I was going to be here for every part of it, everything I knew was coming scared the fucking shit outta me, I was half tempted to call in reinforcements…aka Emmett, nope I will face this like a solider, like a man deeply over his own damn head in love, I will be here.

I stood my ground, I was ready for the backlash as she threw out her emotions, then it just stopped, there was nothing at all … I was brought back from my land of the lost by my right thigh vibrating, my eyes still on Bella, I looked down to see I had a text….'_better hold on tight cowboy, its about to get bumpy where your standin, P.S… I called Bella into work ..she has the swine flu haha'._

As I read the text realization hit me… I looked over at Bella, I could see she worked something's out in her mind, rut row Scooby. I didn't even have time to laugh at what Alice told Mrs. Newton, I had a very irate human girlfriend closing the gap between us, and hell yeah I will admit it, I was fucking scared.

"You knew… you knew everything…didn't you Jasper ?" My head was spinning, again she has turned this around on me,…I held my hands up in surrender, "look darlin, you really need to tell me what you are so pissed about, cause from where I am standing I should be the one pissed…. " that is when I bit my tongue and did as Alice said, hang on for the ride cause the shit was about to hit the fan.

There are sometimes greater then others when I realize I am strange, even for a vampire with emotional issues… here I am standing here taking a screaming, verbal lashing from my human girlfriend and all I can do is think about how great this is, its been so long since I had a 'fight' with anyone, Alice would always just tell me the outcome, her winning more often then not, Edward always walked away like a bitch that he is and Emmett well Emmett… it was not possible to be pissed at him unless your Rosalie.

When I came out of my thoughts she was staring at me like she was expecting a response, fuck I missed something. I missed something big here…fuck me raw. All I could do was push out my feelings of regret and love.

"Jasper Monroe Whitlock I want to know exactly what you know …if you do not tell me I WILL call Alice and if I have to hear it from her you don't even want to fucking know what I am going to do to you… or lets say not do to you."

Were we really at the point where she was threading to withhold sex… damn, 'chose your next move wisely solider', "ok look Bella, yes I did know things were happening but it was way to fucking late for me to do anything….Alice would not fill me in on shit, I was already on my way over here when you called me…what the fuck was I supposed to do huh… I sat here all god damn night knowing for a fact you lied to me!" by the end of that I realized I was yelling at her.

Good fucking way to keep it together Jasper….I crumbled as I watched the tears well up in her dark eyes. I was trying to get a grip on her and my emotions, wasn't happening. I was wrecked for sure.

Everything after that was going so fast, now her hands were gripping my shirt so hard I could hear the threads pulling, but I knew she could not do any real damage. She was just screaming, crying, shaking.

Edward was not even a thought in my head till she started to scream his name… 'I loved him, I gave my everything to him…' ok I thought we were past this part.

I am one hell of an understanding boyfriend, her episode lasted two solid hours. Two fucking hours I let her scream, cry, hit me and pull at my shirt. I just sat there and rode it out, I wish I would have had the fucking brains to ask Jake if she ever full broke down like this before.

Her voice started to go first, then she started to lose her strength. I took a relaxing breath then looked at her, "are we all better now?"

BPOV

I saw red, blue, yellow, green. I saw everything _but_ what I needed to see, and that's reality. Its like a fuse snapped in my head, all the rage hurt and murderous feelings I have sealed up from Edward just came out at once.

I can't believe I never let go like this, just like me to let it all go in front of Jasper, of all people. I was vaguely aware of him standing there as I screamed everything at him, something in the back of my mind wondered why he wasn't just putting a stop to this… all he had to do was give me a nice dose of lethargy and we would be good as gold.

I was so fucking drained I was now leaning into Jaspers chest my hands weakly held his shirt, I felt us moving but didn't care where we are going at this point.. The backs of my knees hit the bed, I was gently laid on my back, the I felt everything melt away onto the floor, I closed my eyes with a soft smile.

It could not have been more then five seconds for his lips to catch mine. There was nothing passive in this kiss no overly felt urges…no fighting each other for dominance. His kiss was a soul reaching, fixing relaxing kiss. If this were a movie I would have my one leg bent up and my toes pointed, but that's not the case, my body is trembling all over needing his touch. The feelings were getting so thick between us it was like a heavy blanket.

**** Mini Lemony Alert** **

He pulled away slightly running his finger up and down my cheek and jaw line, "is this ok Bella, do you need me to stop?" I didn't even open my eyes to plead with him to continue, I was damn near vibrating, my thigh hitched around his hip my answer came out almost breathless sounding, "please, don't stop…"

Stopping must not have been on his mind either, he took my shirt off quickly but sat back looking me over, his eyes glazed and heavy with lust. I sat up a little and ran my hands under his shirt, effectively pulling it off our eyes would not break away from each other.

I was so lost in everything that is Jasper I didn't even notice we have got to the point of no clothes and no chance of stopping. This time around was different, it was playful yet erotic, I would graze my finger tips around his shaft , then my wondering hands moved to his back I wanted to touch every single mark on his beautiful ….that word does not even cover it, Jaspers body makes me want to swoon, cry, and fuck all at the same time.

It was my turn apparently, he has my arms over my head on the bed, his fingers just move touching every inch of my heated body, he waited till he was about done before moving to my breasts, his cold smooth thumb caressing my hardened nubs, shivers were rocking through my body, I wiggled, I arched, I moaned out to him.

I bite down on my lip as well as grabbing anything my little fists could grab as I felt his cool finger travel between my hot folds. It was so painstakingly slow, I arched my hips at him, all he did was smirk and continue on his slow quest. His free hand rested on my hip I am sure to make sure I behave, I could feel my core constricting and burning for his touch. Just when I thought he was going in, he removed his hand completely.

I opened my eyes lazily about to ask him what, he came back up my body and smiled at me as he slowly licked his fingers, he spoke with a cross between a moan and a whisper, "I love your taste Bella, your driving me insane, I love you."

Before I could even get a word out his lips crashed to mine desperately, his hands tangled into my hair pulling it, in turn me as close as I could be. I felt the throbbing head grazing my overly-sensitive core, fuck I almost came undone there.

It felt like minutes but it was seconds he was pressing his member deep inside me, his movements so smooth, I formed myself right to his body, my arms wrapped around his back going up to grip his shoulders, every part of his body was like meant just for me.

He kept his forehead pressed to mine our eyes never broke away, were we lost in the moment, there were moans between the both of us, but it was nothing over done, it was just raw emotions deep love passing between us freely.

I never believed the movies or books when the newly in love main character goes into the elaborate fireworks, gravity shifting, shit like that…. No this was something that has no name, its not worthily for a name, its just being.

Even as we both rode out the most intense orgasm ever, our eyes still locked there was no need for words, the world around un has stopped, we were just …being.

**A/N…. ok guys here it was, this chapter was originally supposed to be the biggest baddest Halloween party, BUT the story line went one way and I went with it, not sure what it was going to do… I am pretty happy about this one, the mini lemon could have been better but that was a peace offering for taking so long. SOOOO that means Cullen's Halloween Party is next chapter, and its going to be a BLOW OUT!! ENJOY!**


	20. Party Till We Die

Disclaimer~ If I owned Twilight I might share, but I don't so I have to keep coming up with these damn disclaimers… that goes for any music I might mention too! ENJOY!

A/N… there will be pics up for this chapter so don't forget to check the myspace (link is in my profile) to get an idea of what everyone is wearing, this is a really musical chapter so hopefully all the music will be on there as well and what songs are on there will go in order with the story so you can listen along hehe …..ALSO there is A LOT of POV changes in this chapter cause there is so much going on at once I want everyone to get the best idea of what's going on!

**JPOV**

I thought for sure I have felt every feeling possible in my long ass time on this earth… nope. I don't even think there is a name for what I just shared with Bella, its fair to say my whole fucking world shifted, nothing is the same. It wasn't even like this the first time I made love to her.

Even after all that there was still something stirring in the back of my mind, there was something I needed to settled once and for all. I may not kill him, cause I know what that would do to my family…but he's going to learn not to fuck with my girl.

I had to be crafty about this, I'm not even sure Bella was going to let me go home alone, she's not stupid. Knowing about the last fight I'm sure she's going to be on the look out for any act of violence .

Here goes nothing, "darlin…." she looked over with a little huh sound, "I was thinking, now that you have the day off, why don't me and you go get your costume?" I don't think it was a half second before she responded.

"NO… I mean no, do you have any idea how hard I worked to keep this costume a secret from everyone including the little all knowing one, no way am I chancing it now, for all I know she already does know about it she's just playing along."

This was working out better then I expected, good thinking major. I gave her the smile I knew makes her melt. "ok darlin…well I am going to head back home to see if Alice needs help, I'm sure she is using Emmett as a mule, I need to save him.

Her emotions shifted really quick, shit she's onto me… ok maybe not, she's cracking up…I watched her run to her closet grabbing a box, she brought it back over to me, "here give this to Emmett… I'm sure he already has a costume but he still needs this."

**BPOV**

Jasper was not fooling me at all, I know what he had to rush home and do…it was not to help Alice set up. I still let him go, I had to have faith in the family that they wouldn't let him kill Edward outright.

I watched till he was out of sight then made my way up stairs to do the horrible task of waking up Jake, he was a bitch to wake up when he has done as many rounds as he has lately.

I walked into his room… he was on his belly flopped across his bed like someone dumped a dead body, I had a smile a little… he has the biggest bed that you can buy with out having to special order…its still not big enough.

I went over to his side and touched his shoulder….he lazily slapped my hand away, oh so its gonna be like this huh, "ok Jake this is how you want it…." I walked over to his closet and grabbed his super soaker, I had in there just for times like this. I made sure to stand back close to the door so I could make a mad dash for it and opened fire.

It was some kinda miracle I made it down the stairs with him hot on my trail soaking wet. I knew I was going to pay for that but I didn't care… he was awake and that was the point.

The ride to Port Angles was comfortable, like it always was with Jake, little quiet though, which I am glad for, it gave me a chance to fall into the music. ( A/N song playing right now is Anberlin Enjoy the Silence, song is on myspace play list) I am guessing he's still a little pissed about the water, ha-ha.

I had to get my costume from a Halloween store, even having to special order it from them, cause I saw it online (A/N-pic on myspace)…but this is so going to be worth it, I had to work really hard to get the huge grin off my face as I thought of it. As far as Alice seeing it, I was safe as a puppy with its mother….so to speak.

Jakes costume was a little harder to come by, luckily a lot of the shops in town had something for Halloween…that is when it happened, we went into the last store, I knew a couple of the girls from high school worked here, one of them being Angela Webber.

There we found the perfect thing for Jake to wear, it was like a 20's gangster outfit but with a twist, there was a bushy fluffy wolf tail coming form the ass of the pants and two little fuzzy ears coming from the top of the hat (A/N-pic on myspace), I fell in love with it right away, Jake….well it took some begging, pleading, and ass-kissing for that one. (but guess who won)

I found a pair of shoes to go with my outfit, I am not sure yet how I was going to be able to move in them but they were way to cute ….wait did I just think that, kill me. After that we headed to check out.

**JakePOV**

Ya know, the part that gets me about the water fight this morning is I know it's all coming to an end soon, to fuckin soon. I am just waiting for the news she is moving out, or I have to move out, who knows.

I was not going to let this ruin any Bella time I had left, I was already fucking things up, and somewhere deep down I knew IF any of them at all, Jasper wasn't half bad….I guess. The boys had a point, I love Bella in the wrong way, it's a good thing she does not love me back cause maybe someday I will imprint, then where would she be…broken hearted just like fuckward left her.

I clinched the steering wheel tighter just thinking about it, Bella was off in la-la land. I really didn't like shopping no matter who I was with, but when she found the damn costume…oh someone please shot me now.

All the lines where long, I got in one that had more people but with less things, before Bella could even bitch " Bells… look how much faster this one is…..moooo…ving"

Everything went to tunnel at that point, tunnel vision, tunnel thoughts, it was just me and her, my life , my world, my love.

**BPOV**

I was just about to start to tease Jake on his cow impression when I saw that look, I new that look…my eyes fallowed his eyes to the girl behind the register. Holy Shit! Angela, Jake just imprinted on Angela.

**JPOV**

As I got closer to home I didn't have the slightest idea of what the hell was going to happen, I knew Alice saw it, what ever it was. She might have kicked him out of the house on some bull shit errand.

I got there and did an emotional head count, that's odd, seems everyone is here but Rosalie… and Adreanna or Annaleah I can't tell their emotions apart yet. That is when all hell broke lose, I didn't see anything anymore I just felt, pure anger, …hate, and it was all my own.

I heard the glass shatter, then I saw Edwards body flying out his window with the most shocked look… I was right after him landing on my feet on the river bank, he landed flat on his back in the water… I was hit with his splash.

He was out of the water in no time, and here we where again… but this time was different, I was Major Jasper Whitlock right now, there was no Jasper Hale or Jasper Cullen right now. All I wanted was him to die.

**EPOV**

This day just needs to end. I cant get out what I had done out of my head, the look on Bella's face, I really thought she wanted it, I thought …. God I don't even know anymore what I thought. Alice was really working Emmett like a horse when I came home, he was in the front yard digging holes… the boxes I know where the Cullen Family grave stones laid next to him.

Leave it to Alice go big or go home, there was an extra box next to it… I peered in it as I walked by, the sight left venom pooled in my mouth, it was a headstone I hoped I would never see.

I tested the thoughts around the house to see if Jasper was home and knew or if anyone else knew, nope nothing, everyone was working for the party tonight, but Rose and Adreanna were gone.

I got to my room, there was a note taped to the door wrote in Romanian , _**Edward, am fost interbqt de sora at Rosalie sa mearga la magazin cu ea sa fie o parte din familia toate Hallows ajunul particului. Vi fi curand acasa , cu dragoste Adreanna. **_( **translation** … Edward, I have been asked by your sister Rosalie to go to the store with her to be a part of the family all Hallows Eve party. I shall be home soon, with love Adreanna…. A/N … I am not sure if that is proper Romanian, that is just what the internet told me I don't speak the language myself.)

Ok that's just strange, Rose playing nice? I walked over to my stereo to put something in when all the thoughts in the house went hay-wire. All I heard around me was breaking glass, wind, then myself splashing into the river. What the fuck?

As soon I was back on my feet I turned to see Jasper about to charge again, I knew I had this coming, but this was a cowards way of doing it. There was a part of me that knew I should not fight back. Nothing would be punishment enough for what I have done.

That was one half of my brain, the other half, the vampire half told me Jasper is a very dangerous vampire…and that I should fight back for my life.

I know nothing was going to stop him at this point but himself, I am no match for Jasper, I am a dead man.

I felt him hit me like a train, this was the man I never wanted to see come out in him, his love for Bella has brought this out in him…his love for her. This thought hit me harder then him, yet I still fought back.

I went for a hard left, he dodged it getting his arms around me, he moved in position to snap my head off, the pressure was building… no one was helping, I could hear the cracking of my flesh. Then just as fast as it started it was over, he was not going to kill me …..today. (pics of fight damage on myspace)

On my knees I looked around seeing my family, minus Rosalie and Adreanna. Esme had her face buried into Carlisle's chest, Annaleah was holding Alice, while Emmett held Jasper who was panting with death in his eyes. The voice, the sound that came out of his mouth, is something I could not even find words for, "EDWARD, if you ever lay a finger on Bella again, there will be no stopping me and you can mark that as a promise."

My eyes went right to my feet as I whispered out the only thing I could say…."Jasper, I am sorry."

There were no other words exchanged, when I looked up he was walking around to the front of the house with Alice and Annaleah.

**JPOV**

I went right to my room and cranked something I knew would make me happy and drive Edward insane all at once, as the first twang'y keys of Jerry Lee Lewis's piano blasted though my speakers I laid across the bed with my feet hangin over the side. ( A/N song on myspace p/f ) I closed my eyes with the softest smile on my face, not only did I feel better, but I was also excused from set up duty downstairs.

After that song I got up plugged in my guitar and went to town on a fun song that made me laugh while I was singing it. ( A/N another song on the myspace p/f) Man does time fly when your being a crack head, it was starting to get dark, the party is going to be starting soon, and I still ain't ready Alice is going to kill me. Just as I thought that she called up to me, "Jasper Whitlock if you are not ready before Bella gets here me and her are going to kill you!"

I took any and all threats from Alice to heart, she means it…what ever it is.

**BPOV**

I cranked my ipod as got ready, it felt like it took forever to get into my costume but thank god I didn't have to call Jake into help. As I looked over myself in the mirror the hugest smile came over my lips, I started to laugh at the fake pointy vampire fangs poked out onto my ruby lips. ( pic on myspace p/f)

"Bella… I look like a jack ass, I really hope you are happy with yourself, Angela will be here any second now and I feel like a fool," I stepped out from my bathroom and looked at Jake who was standing in my door way shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

I had to laugh, "you look fine, I still cant believe she knows everything, and is coming tonight." Like a creepy horror movie there was a knock on the door, I thought for sure Jake was going to rip the door right off when he opened it, there stood Angela, dressed to kill in a costume matching Jakes…well minus the fluffy tail and ears part. (pic for Angela's costume)

I was starting to re-think mine, maybe me and Jasper should have done something like that, I don't even know if Jake and Angela planned that… no there was not enough time for them to…ok that's super creepy, but still cute.

"oh god Bella your… hot " Angela came up and hugged me with her bright smile, you are going to knock Jasper off his feet, its still crazy after all this time….knowing the secret about the Cullen's."

I was not even wrapping my mind around the fact that now someone else knows ….someone I can talk to about all this, YAY me.

We were just about to walk out the door when an idea hit me … I ran back into the house… as best as I could in these fucking heels…I got to my make up case and grabbed my small bottle of sliver shimmer…I stood in my bathtub and dusted myself…there now I really sparkle.

We all loaded into Jakes car…I let Angela take the font, my nerves were getting the best of me, I needed to go through with this, this was life changing…I took a calming breath, Jake looked at me from the mirror I could not even bring to fake a smile.

I want this… this is what I have been waiting for I just hope everything falls into place.

**AlicePOV PARTY TIME**

**(A/n…all music and costumes are on the myspace so I don't have keep adding a A/N… the music is in order on the play list ) **

Everything was ready, I had to bounce cause of how good everything looked, Edward was so pissed about the Bella headstone out front with the rest of ours, ha-ha.

The only thing bringing down my mood was the fact Jake was going to be here, I have no idea how the party is going to turn out, he must here the whole time cause I cant get past him.

I came down stairs in dressed and ready to go, I had to fix a few things on my way but when I got into the living room everyone, except Jasper was ready…that boy I tell ya.

Everyone looked great, well Carlisle looked the same as he always does, him and Esme thought it would be cute to go as a doctor and naughty nurse this year. Edward was dressed from the early 1900's even with a thin fake mustache that looked horrible on him, Adreanna just wore her fully Gypsy outfit as did Annaleah, Emmett and Rosalie were in a Batgirl and Robin costume, Emmett was wearing the new cape Bella got him and he was beaming.

I wore a sexy psycho ward girl outfit…and rocked it well I might add. Jasper finally came down. Everyone's jaws dropped, he was for the first time that I know of wearing his old official civil war uniform.

It bugged the shit out of me that I still had no idea what Bella is wearing, she had been close to Jake when doing anything with her costume, well I have a up waiting for her if she needs it.

**BPOV**

I tired to focus on the song playing ( A/N the song is lost boys…its on the play list), but when we pulled up to the Cullen house I was about out of my skin, this is fucking nuts.

I looked around the drive way that was decorated, damn I was just here and they did all this already…stupid vampire speed. When we finally got to the house, I was amazed to say the least…but it was Angela who spoke up first…"damn, they go all out don't they, this is way different then I remember it form the graduation party."

Jake parked the car off to the side of the house, they both got out, I hesitated a little before I could give into my thoughts of taking off I was lifted out of the car by two very large, very hot arms .

"God damnit Jake put me down I can walk ya know …." he smirked as he carried me toward the door… "are you sure about that Bells.. I mean them shoes look deadly" he gave a good loud laugh as he finally put me down grabbing Angela's hand. She smiled up at him "its going to be ok Jake, I am sure Jasper wont let her fall"

I smiled big at the thought, I started to walk a little faster I saw there was some gravestones by the door, at first I thought they were just props…that was till I got next to them, I could not help but laugh, actual real gravestones …with the names and dates for all the Cullen's.

I thought my eyes where going to bug the fuck right out of my head when I saw a gravestone with my name on it, it was right in front of an open grave….did Alice know or was this a joke or something, the death date on mine was also open.

Jake and Angela where laughing taking in all the sights on and around the porch when the door opened and Alice came out…"oh my god …" I said between laughs…"Alice you look great."

"Forget me….Bella wow, I mean I didn't think you would ever…" I walked over to her and hugged her, "its ok Alice…I love the fact I just made you at a loss of words…oh Alice, you remember Angela Webber right, she is now officially Jakes imprint and knows everything in case you didn't know"

She was bouncing again, "yes I remember her silly" she tapped on her temple and walked in…what the hell is that supposed to mean…I fallowed her in…holy shit the house looked like a horror movie set it was great, just then the music started. (A/N … the song starting the party music is Burning down the house on the play list )

I still have not seen Jasper, I took a few steps into the living room when I was airlifted…"Emm, you going to break me" he laughed and put me down. "Bella I am going to get you a coat, I cant have you walking around here looking this hot" he was yelling over the music for me to hear him…which means the rest of the family heard too. "Dance with me …" before I had a chance to flat out refuse, I was pulled onto the dance floor, fuck it I have danced before, granted I was drunk but this was a good song, so I started to dance with my big brother, who was dressed as robin…can I be more of a dork… but there was still no Jasper.

I saw Edward sulking by a speaker… good. I just felt bad for Adreanna, she was right by his side…still no Jasper. The song was just coming to an end I saw my dad and Sue talking to Carlisle and Esme…. Oh my fucking god what is my dad wearing? Why hasn't someone killed me yet?

I walked over …after finally getting away from Emmett, to say hi.

Sue smiled when I walked over but my dads face was a little harder to read, as soon as I opened my lips to ask him what the hell he was wearing he asked the same thing… Esme got a good laugh from that…"like father like daughter huh", Sue spoke up…."oh so much its not even funny sometimes."

We sat and talked for a bit, my dad said he would have to leave it he got a call because he was still on duty but they didn't want to miss this.

Just then another dance type song came on, this time I was grabbed by Rosalie, as she half yelled " this is my song Alice played it just for me and we are all dancing no whining aloud." Who could argue with that, I saw Alice, Annaleah and Angela where already out there, Rose went to get Adreanna.

Alice must have saw me still looking for Jasper cause she danced over to me and whispered in my ear…"he was nervous so went for a quick bite he will be back any time now don't worry…it will be worth the wait when you two see each other…I think he might faint when he sees you, someone else is having some issues with it" she laughed and danced back to Annaleah.

Good let him eat his heart out, my plan is working then. When this song was over I went to see what Jake and Emm were talking about, Jake was taking in the fact he was not left out in the décor, there was a beat up ripped up metal dog cage next to the food table with a battered dog dish inside it. That's funny.

I grabbed something from the overly done food table… I mean come on now there is only 4 humans and 1 shape shifter here, was all this necessary….on second thought, I looked over to Jake who was trying his hardest to either make Emm puke or eat I was not sure, that's when I felt the arms I have been waiting for snake around my waist his lips went right to my ear.

"darlin…." his voice was so husky I had to smile, "I should have you put up for wearing something like that outside of our bedroom" he ended his point with a kiss right below my ear… I shivered then turned in his arms, I melted right there on the spot, I felt him brace me a little more. OH MY GOD

He smiled… god damn all feeling knowing vampire.

Before I had a chance to jump him and rip that uniform right off Alice played another song causing Jasper to jump with excitement and pull me to the dance floor where everybody else was… I do mean everybody…it was fun, I didn't think about how close Edward was, I didn't think about what happened, or my plan.

I know honestly believe its not a Halloween party till they play thriller by Michael Jackson , I was laughing the whole time, and never tipped over these ungodly shoes.

Just like that the song was over and Emmett was on the mic, "ok look I know things have been ….uptight around here…" he gave a pointed glace to Edward and Jasper, "but this is a tradition I can not break and neither will you guys… "

I saw both Edward and Jasper sigh, slumping a little like kids who are being forced into something they really don't wanna do.

**JPOV**

I had a feeling he was going to do this, it never fails plus I know he hates it when we fight…. But this is our song so here goes I get to be a fool in front of Bella

( Emmett is **bold, **Edward is _Italic, _Jasper is underline , all three are nomal )

If You

If You

Wanna Know

Wanna Know

The real deal about the three

Well let me tell you

We're triple trouble ya'll

We're gonna bring you up to speed

**Cause I'm a specializer, rhyme reviser **

**Ain't selling out to advertisers **

**What you get is what you see **

**And you won't see me out there advertising **

See I like to party not drink Bacardi

'Cause I'm not looking to throw up on nobody 

Known for my spiel like wheelie one wheel 

'Cause this is like having a delicious meal

_Moving the crowd, well that's a must _

_I got some words that apply to us and that's _

_Mesmerizing, tantalizing _

_Captivating, we're devastating _

If You

If You

Wanna Know

Wanna Know

The real deal about the three

Well let me tell you

We're triple trouble ya'll

We're gonna bring you up to speed

_Here's one for the bleachers and the upper tier _

_Versatile like All-Temp-A-Cheer _

_If you wanna drink call Mr. Belvedere _

_Run this rap game like a brigadier _

_I got kicks on the one, seven and eleven _

_Snares on the five and thirteen _

_Rhymes on time and that's the given _

_We're hot on the disco scene check it a check it _' 

**Slow down with I-me, got to stop stingin' **

**The source of the problem is at the origin **

**You've got lyrics that have got me cringin' **

**You're like a fish-wife, quit your damn whingin**

If You

If You

Wanna Know

Wanna Know

The real deal about the three

Well let me tell you

We're triple trouble ya'll

We're gonna bring you up to speed

Hey yo, BAM super nature god damn 

Cerrone on the microphone I am 

_Adrock a.k.a sharp cheddar _

_My rhymes are better _

_What the Helen in Troy is that? _

_Did I hear you say my rhymes is wack? _

_I'm beautiful you can't touch me _

_If you pick a rose, well you might just bleed _

**We're originators you can't feign **

**Ignorance or pass the blame **

**'Nuff rhymes coming out the brain **

**'Nuff beats to drive you insane **

**'Nuff moves to make your neck crane **

**'Nuff skill to make the rhymes ingrain **

**'Nuff heat to leave you in flames **

**'Nuff style that you can't defame **

You see I walk like Jabba The Hutt 

With the style so new y'all be like what? 

Turn the party out like a bon vivant 

With the skill at will that I know you want 

On a hot day sip on iced latte 

Devious like Wyllie Coyote 

Hot to trote or maybe not-e 

'Cause little did they know there was a baby in her body 

**Mesmerizing**, tantalizing, _captivating_, devastating

If You

If You

Wanna Know

Wanna Know

The real deal about the three

Well let me tell you

We're triple trouble ya'll

We're gonna bring you up to speed

( end of song)

I can not believe that went as well as it did… damn that was cool. When we were done were faced clapping and giggles, at least Bella didn't run out scared out of her mind… no she is bent over laughing now, grrrate. Walked over to Alice's little DJ set up and put something in, well two songs back to back so I could have Bella time… both where romantic dance songs, how I am not sure but that's just how they strike me.

Her arms wrapped around me, I was not even aware about everyone else in the room dancing, but I was not till the second song came on, which was the slowest out of the two where something hit me.

I pulled her to me as close as possible, putting my lips to her ear, I felt her lust love and her soft shivers, this made me so happy I knew I was projecting, I was on cloud nine and was not even scared about what I was doing next.

"darlin, " she replied with a soft humm sound, "I know I am not doing this right and I don't have everything I need to be proper, but Bella …" we stopped dancing "marry me."

Her emotions went nuts, I thought this was going to be a hell no jack ass until I felt her unbridled joy come though.

"yes…yes Jasper I wil…" I didn't even let her finish before my lips where to hers, with that was the round of applause, I didn't notice everyone watching, fuck I didn't even talk to her dad or get on one knee…but my baby don't care about things like that. She said yes…. She. Said. Yes.

**Jake POV**

I seen it coming a mile away, I could not be more happy for her.

**EPOV**

That cocky bastard, I need to talk to her.

**AlicePOV**

Yes! Wedding to plan

**EmmPOV**

Ugh he did it all wrong, no ring and on Halloween…all wrong, but we are a family again!

**RPOV**

She better not hurt my brother or I will rip her apart.

**BPOV**

HOLY SHIT… fuck holy crow… this is a complete holy shit moment! I could not stop my heart from answering, and that's a good thing, I am going to marry Jasper.

The song ended, once he took his lips from mine then kissed my head, he took my hand as we walked over to my dad, he looked confused but also looked ready to go. "dad … Jasper just asked me to marry him, " I took a breath, "I said yes… dad I am getting married"

"Bells that's great…. As long as your sure.." he gave a look to Jasper then back to me. "Dad I have never been so sure, he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with" I nearly choked on those words.

"ok Bells.." he also kissed my head , then Sue gave me a hug as dad shook Jaspers hand. "Well Bells I got a call I need to go, it seems Mike Newton is streaking downtown I need to haul him in."

We all said our goodbyes, that was easy…getting rid of my dad and Sue. We walked over to the food table and I looked for a glass I needed a drink really bad, "what ya lookin for darlin," .."just some glasses I need something to drink" he looked for a second then said, " I think its all in the kitchen, I will get you something be right back love."

I could not get the huge ass smile off my face, until I felt him behind me…"Bella…" oh god..

"no Edward, I don't want to talk to you …" I made my voice strong, I looked over and saw Jake over by the back door with Angela and Adreanna Alice and Annaleah.

"Bella please, I need to…" I cut him off this time talking much louder but kept strong, "NO Edward, you were going to rape me…weren't you?… you violated me in my own bed…"

Everything stopped except the song that played… it was then everything went in slow-mo but still to fast, Jake charged just as I thought he would at Edward, and just as planned I got in front of Edward and took the full hit of Jake's wolf form.

The pain… god the pain, the sounds of my bones snapping, now I really wanted death. I could hear the chaos around me, I felt his cold arms around me lifting just my head a little as Carlisle told him I was unsaveable …unless…

**JasperPOV**

I heard something start in the living room, I was not sure until I heard Bella call Edward out rather loudly, even with my vampire speed I could not get out there fast enough, once I heard the wolf growl I thought it was over, till I saw Bella's broken body on the ground surrounded by broken table and food.

I dropped right to her, Jake was whimpering somewhere in the room, no one but Carlisle was moving… he was checking her out, there was still some sappy song coming from the speakers, I didn't even think or care about the blood, I felt like I was dieing inside.

"Jasper, there is to much damage, don't move her…there is no way, unless she is changed.."

Jake howled…the song changed ( this song is AFI on the play list ) , Bella's eyes opened for just a second and with a weak breath she whispered to me…"surprise" then she was out.


	21. Sleeping Beauty

**Disclaimer, I only get to play… I do not get to keep. **

**A/N….this is going to be a short chapter, once again I am SOOO sorry for the wait, the only thing I can say but life happens but its still no excuse, and the fact that you are still reading this means you are all AWSOME!**

**Last time on, Can You Look At Me Now?… **

"_Jasper, there is to much damage, don't move her…there is no way, unless she is changed.."_

_Jake howled…the song changed ( this song is AFI on the play list ) , Bella's eyes opened for just a second and with a weak breath she whispered to me…"surprise" then she was out._

**Now….**

**JPOV**

I held her broken body close to me, I was fighting the instinct to growl at Carlisle for coming to close…I knew he was there to help but my inner demon didn't. All my demon knew was my mate was hurt, and I had to save her.

My mate.

Even my brain was over loaded, I didn't know where or what or even who…all this was in a split second before I caught on to what I needed to do…save my Bella.

As I lowered my lips to her neck there was screaming crashing around me, I didn't care I didn't even look up, I whispered to my angel "please be ok" I gently sank my teeth into her soft flesh. I could feel the faintest heartbeat I think ever in my 160 years, but it was there, that's all that mattered.

I could feel more and more venom pushing into her neck, I wont lie by saying no words could describe the taste of her blood, the strange thing is I never once thought of draining her, it was never even a thought in the back of my head, I knew I needed to do better, she needed more of my venom to heal, I broke away from her neck and moved to the soft spot about her heart and bit down once more.

Day 1... Screaming, pain, shed and unshed tear.

Day 2... Fighting, more pain, losing mind, so I sing to her.

_Delusional_

_I believe I can cure it all for you, dear_

_Coax or trick or drive or drag the demons from you_

_Make it right for you sleeping beauty _

_Truly thought I can magically heal you _

_You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening _

_Failing miserably to rescue _

_Sleeping Beauty _

_Drunk on ego _

_Truly thought I could make it right _

_If I kissed you one more time to_

_Help you face the nightmare _

_But you're far too poisoned for me _

_Such a fool to think that I_

_can wake you from your slumber _

_That I could actually heal you.. _

_Sleeping Beauty _

_Poisoned and hopeless _

_You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening _

_Failing miserably to find a way to comfort you _

_Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening _

_And hiding from some poisoned memory _

_Poisoned and hopeless _

_Sleeping Beauty _

Day 3... Breaking point, even more pain, possible regret.

Day 3 ½… It all came to an end, the pain, hers and mine, as well as her human life.

I have not spoke a word to anyone since the accident, fuck who am I fooling there was no fucking accident, she planned this, I was sitting on the floor holding her hand to my face, my knees pulled to my chest my guitar on the other side of the room where it landed when I threw it. My anger was about to flare up again her heart came to a fast stop.

I knew it was over, her feelings were….relived of course and there was hurt, she's not hurt I wonder if something went wrong, she's not opening her eyes. Before I started to really panic and start screaming for Carlisle her lips moved, letting out the softest whisper, almost mimicking her last words to me before she died.

**BPOV**

Day 1... Pain, burning, uncontrollable screaming

Day 2... Indescribable pain, flesh melting, will it ever end .

Day 3... Excruciating pain, charcoal for body, wishing for death.

Day 3 ½… my life as a human, over, new life with the ones I love, beginning.

Its not that I couldn't open my eyes, I just didn't want to. I felt my hand on his face, I knew he had been there the whole time… boy did I have time to think, and its only been a few seconds…I think I could've maybe even should've done all that differently.

Something told me Jasper was freaking out, before he would have the chance to panic even more, I whispered to him, scared of my own voice, "I'm ok"

The look on his face told me, yeah I was ok but this….this was not ok.

**JPOV**

Fight or flight, fight or flight, that was my internal struggle, I am not saying I was going to leave for good, I just don't want to fight with Bella. I got up heading out the door with out anther word, she will live till I get back… she's a fucking vampire now.

Alice and Rosalie were already heading toward my room with some clothes for Bella, I mumbled to them, "goin to hunt be back later"… with that I just shoved my hands in my pockets my head down, I took off on a dead run out of the house.

I had to clear my head, I was already missing her, the pull to come back home to hold my love in my arms was getting to be too much, I knew though, I knew for sure if I went back now I would have a few choice words for her …. Reckless, unthinkable, bull shit, thoughtless, fucking ridiculous, outright stupid actions!

I sat on a stump running my fingers threw my own hair, I had a bite to eat, took out some trees, now it was time to get my head back in the game, I had a girl to get back home to, a girl that is most likely scared out of her mind as to what is going on with her.

**BPOV**

I just sat there watching him walk out, who can blame him… I did this now I must deal with it… ok I know I am knew to this and my overly experienced vampire boyfriend just left, but I think I am taking this rather well…

Before I had a chance to really dwell on things Alice and Rosalie walked into the room.

After a hundred outfit changes, and about a million eye rolls I was dressed in something I actually liked. I started to pace the room, I had this feeling I could not put my finger on….it was like I was auto-pilot.

I was not even really listening when Carlisle and Alice were talking over if I had a power or not. All I could do was watch out the back window like my life depended on it.

Then I saw him… just coming over the river, I am not sure but I think I broke the glass to the door as I shoved it out of my way.

I was to him faster then I thought I would be and collided with him, bringing both of us down into the water, did I care… hell no, my mate was in my arms, and I in his.

**A/n... once again, sorry its so short but I am happy with it... and the song Jasper sings is Sleeping Beauty by A perfect circle... ( I dont own that either )**


	22. AN OMG SORRY

Hello! I am going to start off on how truly sorry I really am, I never ever thought it would take THIS long to update but I have a brand new computer and feeling pretty good about this story, better than I have in a long time! I can't really say when the next chapter will be up but I am at least letting you all know I am back to work, and if you are also a fan of Miss Me I will get back to that one after I get the chapter done for C,Y.L,A.M.N, Once again thank you so much for sticking with me if you did and a thank you to the new readers that are just coming into it.


	23. Coming back from that

A/N… I can't tell you how sorry I am at how late this is! I am also sorry how short and choppy this chapter seems but I am still coming out of months of writers block so forgive me please. Aside from that I really hope you enjoy!

BPOV

I felt like I was in front of the firing squad, everyone was looking at me like I was an alien, I think if I could cry I would just from the tension .

JPOV

I have not said a word in days, I don't even know where to start I mean really "surprise" really like it was a gift or something. There was a huge elephant in the room no one was talking, no one was sure what to say at this point even though we have had days to get ready for this, what was there to say, its ok darlin, everything is fine. IT'S NOT, fuck, it's not even close to ok, I ask the woman to marry me and she goes on a suicide mission.

I feel like I am being torn apart, I don't know what to do, sit here and stew or forgive the woman I love … I know deep down I forgive her but my stubbornness keeps getting in the way.

She looks so lost right now, so alone. Everyone in the family is still so shocked at what transpired here they have not spoken to her either. I think I just need to man up and make sure she knows I still love her dearly.

I get up and cross the room, making my way over to the section of the couch she was sitting on in a tight little ball, she was staring off into space twirling a strand of her hair, a smile came to my face for the first time since I asked her to marry me, she was so beautiful and she was mine.

Without warning I scooped her up in my arms and kissed her like the world was going to end that second. She was taken back for a second but then melted into my frame kissing me back, it was then I heard a simultaneous sigh of relief from the family, I grinned like a fox in the kiss. Bella pulled back and looked at me with that eye brow of hers arched.

"Should I even ask" there was finally some emotion in her voice, out of all the things I could and should have said to her I came out with "I love you". For just a split second I thought it was lame but when I saw those red eyes light up like a child's eyes on Christmas I know it was the right thing, it was what she needed to hear at the moment.

One Year Later…

BPOV

I slowly swung back and forth on the tree swing that is in front of my and Jacobs house, my feet making matching ruts in the dirt as I moved. I was so nervous I don't know why it was just Jacob I mean come on right.

No I had every right to be a nervous wreck, this was the first time I will be seeing him since the "incident" …after me and Jasper made up we left town for a while… well a year to be exact… least till I could be in control for sure and my eyes were somewhat of a normal color.

It was just the last few months I have been back in touch with Jacob but I know there is no way to make up for what I have done, I have come to terms with that and so has he, we agreed on a somewhat of a fresh start … so to speak. So here I am, waiting for him to come home, we just got back into town last night, I have not even seen my father yet, I made a point to see him first.

I sighed a little hoping he did not change his mind he is about an hour late, when I was about to give up hope and get my ass off the swing in pulled my Durango, well I'll be. I stood up when he got out of the truck we both just kinda stood there not knowing who was going to make the first move, then I just bolted to him wrapping my arms around him … holy shit he was hot … but that was not even the point, god I missed him.

By the end of the night we were dancing around the living room like idiots to Beastie Boys, I found out Angela was 3 months pregnant, and they set a wedding date …after the baby comes because Angela was already showing. He found out we have yet to set a wedding date…all and all it was a good night.

JPOV

Getting back to town was a good thing, for all of us. The unexpected vacation was just a tad stressful to say the least. Now Bella was over visiting Jacob which gave me time to work on this small… oh hell who am I kidding very LARGE project, I am giving Bella a surprise wedding.

Alice is so proud of me; I am doing this with minimal help from her and my parents as much as Esme and Alice want to butt in.

I was just about done with everything, this was going to be perfect, and no uptight tux's… no fancy dress and shoes to make Bella uneasy. It was going to be full on casual, just like we are.

Now I only had one more call to make, to Miss Angela Webber, I wanted someone that was a friend to her and outside of the family to stand up for her, hopefully I can pull this off without her or Jacob knowing…

Angela is a go! Poor girl started crying when I told her… she thought it was the most romantic thing she ever heard. Deep breaths, relax, cause tomorrow Bella Swan is going to become Mrs. Bella Whitlock.


End file.
